This is where I Want Him to Be.





All of Us Americans gathered for a warm and wonderful Thnakgiving!








What a fantastic week!? Hear are some of my lecture topics…

We can only Show God to the extent that we Know Him

Isa 58; 6-11… The Lords fasting is to break the bondage of the needy. Our fasting should be for others benefit.

We can choose to Live by the truth that comes from God, or by the lies of the enemy

Romans 8; 14… He loved us so much that He sent His son to the cross so we could become is adopted children

If every Christian family adopted one child, there would no longer be orphans

Are words are powerful. God spoke the earth into creation. We have to be careful what things we speak over ourselves and others.

Salvation is free, following Him will cost you everything, but the blessings from obedience are greater than the cost.

When we are serving the Lord, wherever he has called us, he doesn’t just give us Grace to endure, but Grace to ENJOY

Who comes first….Your family or Jesus?

He gave His best for us, how much more should we offer to him

This is just a summary of the hard and beautiful truths I heard. I want to be desperate for God. A heart that is truly seeking finds His answers. I think I’m almost afraid to find out what he has for my life. I’m scared of the sacrifices I have to make, but at the same time I’m willing to go. My brain is really scrambled; it’s the last week of lecture, I don’t know what to expect on outreach, I’m going to miss the other half of my class, some people on my team still don’t have money to go to Guadeloupe, and my confidence has really dropped. I need to take confidence in Him and not myself. I can sense the heavy attitude over my campus. I was just getting used to the classroom YWAM lifestyle and now I’m being thrown into “outreach” time. I’m looking forward, but I’m easily distracted by emotions.

God is good and his purpose is too. I know I’m going to Guadeloupe to be changed; I just need to be ready to lay down my rights and selfishness. As much as I hate confrontation God is teaching me to confront people and tell them truly how I feel. I think that’s one of my weakest points. I do feel more upfront It’s just really hard. I would rather try and forget about something than discuss the matter. I think my apathy is why my confidence is so low right now. I’m letting myself become stagnant. I need to get moving, start recognizing and battling. I love the idea that when we take part in worship its spiritual Warfare.

As much as I have going on mentally, it truly ha been a good week. Realizing my issues is the first step in destroying them. Please pray for Boldness and patients I’m really lacking both. Pray that His beautiful truth will remain in my mind.

Matthew 10; 37-39

This week has been very exciting. I’ve been hugely encouraged by my loved ones at home. I received 2 letters and a package of treats provided by John and Meaghan. I was so blessed and happy. I got a cd featuring Francis Chan, pictures of home (including a very cute hamster and my bros 1st hockey game), chips, cookies, a messenger bag, tear jerking notes, an official SMYDEK tee, and vitamins (Flintstone brand). I had been working for two hours in the kitchen and was greeted with this present at the end of work. It really blessed me and inspired me. There is something so wonderful about the hand written word. I’m so recharged from seeing Yoho handwriting. Thank you.
Our teaching this week rocked. We talked about unreached people groups and church planting methods. We learned about the history of missions, which I almost felt was too good to be true. God has used different eras in history to reach specific people groups. For example, in the late 1700’s to the mid 1800’s most of the missionaries being sent out to the nations were British and landing on shores and remaining close to the oceans. This era was named the Coastland mission period because believers were outlining the nations with the gospel; it was in later years that they headed inland to the areas considered more dangerous for foreigners. A man named William Carey was very influential in this time, he was British and worked mostly in India. If you go to Joshuaproject.net you can find the people groups that remain unreached today.

Yesterday was pretty full we spent the morning feeding people at a homeless shelter. The people there are so intellectual; most of them know the bible more than any of us do. They are so happy without shoes on there feet. I want faith like that. Before we served them we sang and read a short devotion. They were so interactive and enthusiastic. Could I be that joyful? Could I be that confident in God? Some of the men there had excellent careers at one point. One sweet elderly man had been an architect and designed many neighborhoods in Montego Bay. Another was a German translator who attended school in Miami, but was between jobs for too long and learned how to live homeless. Many of the men were so rich at one point that they got sick of money. They became irresponsible and just stopped working. I sometimes feel foolish ministering to people in this situation. They know more than me, they’ve been through incredible devastation, they don’t have a bed and here I come singing songs about how faithful God is when I’ve been supported and cared for beyond my own understanding. They should be ministering to me. I go there to hear from them. I want to be an encouragement and a servant to them.

Later our class headed to the beach to relax. We got really sun burned and played volleyball with a nice couple. It’s crazy that the scenery here and the time on the beach is slowly becoming ordinary to me. Yesterday the girls and I were tanning and suddenly I remember we were here in this tropical paradise on the Lords business.

This morning I went to this really beautiful Catholic Church. This scripture was the basis of a skit we’ve been using in different churches throughout the past several weeks. In YWAM we do something called mobilizing. We go to youth groups and Sunday services to speak about D.T.S and our other schools we usually do a drama or dance followed by testimonies and an overview of the curriculum. Our drama of late had been from this story in Matthew. I need to take it more seriously. Every single thing I do to someone I am doing to my Lord. Usually I’m selfish and ignorant. I do things completely for myself without even thinking about others or the Lord. I’m really trying to become more aware of my actions and the motives behind those actions. Taking every thought captive is a hard task, but a rewarding one. God is speaking.

Tonight my outreach team got together and practiced our French. I realized how difficult in was all of my Spanish skills came flooding back, which was nice, but alas not helpful. Then, we watched Oceans 11 in French with English subtitles, it was still surprisingly funny.

Be blessed this week.

News on the Outreach

Well, it turns out that Haiti is no longer an option. I can't say I'm not disappointed, but I rust its for the best. The base there is not very safe due to damages caused in the hurricane. Our leaders didn't want to risk deaises and separation between our team. My leaders are husband and wife and they couldn't bring the children into the nation, so we are sticking together in Guadeloupe! I leave the 7th of December and return January 29th. I'm very happy things worked out and my team seems to be unified that Haiti isn't for this season. I trust my leaders they've prayed and this is the outcome. It also is nice because we don't have to fly through Miami. I didn't want to go to the States for fear I'd catch a bus home...Just kidding.

I've learned all these new skits and evangelistic performances. We had a dts dance party the other night for three hours. I love dancing with my classmates because we never judge each others dance moves. Some stuff is pretty ridiculous but still entertaining. I really want to visit Bellingham, Washington. My friend Alia is from there and it sounds like a really cool art/snowboard town. She's shared a ton of her local music and it rocks!

Today we are all just relaxing. We've been so busy this passed week that a break was necessary. I went to the airport yesterday to pick up our speaker. He looks like a mix between John Goodman and Uncle Bilbo. The teaching is going to be about reaching the nations an dhow to Handel cross cultural differences during outreach. I'm happy this week isn't focusing on us as the individuals, but us as a class going out into the world. The dts experience is full of inner healing and revelation so my spirit will enjoy a change of focus.

Oh, if anyone is planning to end me something please do so asap. I'm leaving in three weeks and sometimes it takes that long to get a letter. Slow mail is torture here. I stair at my meal box before every meal and its usually empty, except one letter from dear Eric Schmitz, that really rose my spirits! Thanks morp date.

Reading Romans 14 changed me

Whats up

Yesterday I got to go shopping for the first time. I picked up some random gifts and just walked around. I'm getting more and more comfortable with living here and functioning in the community with the locals. It's funny, everyone here thinks I'm Canadian. at least 6 Jamaicans called me out for being Canadian and were shocked that I'm actually American. I can't tell the difference between the two, one man said it was my nose, but whatever. I like Canada they have free health care! Pretty awesome.

The rainy season is starting to pick up it rains really hard either all day or for just an hour. The rain falls so hard that you get so wet you have to change clothes and the more you change the more laundry you have to wash, and the more laundry the more you have to run to save your clothes on the line from having to be washed again. when the rain falls on the line your clothes reek! So most of today I've been washing and drying with my hair dyer in our room. It' fun but I've got the feeling it will get old quick.
I was reading our book this week, Spiritual Warfare, and there was this great bit about being honest and looking for the honesty in others when we are rebuked," ...we must be open and willing to examine the content of what others say to us. Though some of what they say will be false, we need not be defensive, and should defiantly not fight people. If there is truth in what they say, it becomes an opportunity for us to repent, make restitution, and become more like Jesus." This was hard to read. So many times in my life people bring things to me and I just get angry or i search for an excuse that really doesn't apply to the situation. I'm learning a lot about mainting friendship here and I hope I can remember this quote when it surfaces again. I think everyone here is in some sort of breaking point. It's been 8 weeks and were all constantly engaging in relationship with one another. I think my Dts needs to learn how to deal with our conflicts a little more peacefully. The great part about being here is that we have to deal and learn to cope. We can't leave, we can't be alone, and we can't ignore one another. We've all worked out so much amongst each other, but we still have a long way to go. I think my main problem is i like pleasing people, so I tend to hold everything in and explode later.

I can't believe I only have 4 more weeks of lecture! Outreach is going to be really hard for me, but I'm ready to be challenged I just hope my heart is open for this upcoming adventure!

New Lecture phase

So local outreach is over and Mo Bay is really starting to feel like home. I missed the other students so terribly, but the experience was good. I found out today that my overseas outreach is not just to Guadeloupe, but we will be spending two weeks in Haiti helping to rebuild he base that was hit by a hurricane. This is a really exciting opportunity but it does mean another plane ticket. I know God will provide so it's all good. I should be set by November 10th.

I'm really enjoying the speaker this week her name is faith and shes 77. She has such a strong spirit and looks at the poetry in the bible. A lot of the speakers have focused on Genesis chapters one and two so when she asked us to turn there I was ready to hear the same old facts. However; she surpassed all my previous teachings, she opened up this moment in history with brilliant creativity. I've never looked at it this way before. Needless to say, she had us all dead silent listening and waiting for the next part of the story. Here are a couple of her exciting points;

-The endless variety in humans (hair, eyes, skin, hearts) bear witness to an infinite God, who will never come to an end at expressing himself. All of us were created in His image and as many people as there are, and have been on this earth, he will keep showing himself in new and completely unique ways. We are all priceless beyond measure.

-Nothing that sin has done in our lives can separate us fom God

-God is neither just male or just female, he is both. He epressed himself differently in the two. Marriage is the most complete representation of Gods image.

-Genesis 2;19 God wanting Adam to realize that he did not have a companion on the earth, none of the animals were comparable to him. Adam was looking for something that God wanted him to have.

-God doesn't call us to loneliness we are to be in relationship with others as he is in relationship with the spirit and son, as he always has been.

-Woman was the last thing created, she was taken from Adam and then in Genesis 2; 22 we read that the Lord brought Eve to Adam. This is such a privilege to be escorted by God to your companion.

-Genesis 2;8 God had completed creation and saw that it was good, but after he created man he plants a garden especially to shelter and provide for man. We are highly valued to the Lord

-Genesis 3 the seriousness of a fall depends on the height at which we fell from. We fell from union with God, there is no higher height than that.

I could go on and on and on, but those were some interesting points. I hope your inspired to read these scriptures and hear him speak. We also looked at the book of Ruth and just as Boaz is a kinsman redeemer, so Jesus is the worlds kinsman Redeemer. Boaz is such an impressive man his purity and Godly righteousness make him a model man.

so Obama, I don't know how I feel about this I regret that I kept myself far away from the election. We can only pray that God would make His will done in this nation, I guess we have to wait and see how our country handles this. Either good or bad this is so huge for our countries history. I got to talk to Donna which was so encouraging I love the way God speaks through her. I really missed home this week. I just keep remembering that God never said this would be easy, but he did say it would be worth it. I'm praying for Awana, that God would overflow His knowledge into the leaders and children there. it's funny how I can be so far away but home in spirit.

2 Timothy 4;2 Preach the word and be prepared in and out of season; correct rebuke and encourage with great patients ad careful instruction. I'm working on my relationships with my outreach team and this verse is keeping me in line. It's so hard sometimes.

Yesterday we had creative worship with everyone on the base. we learned this really cool song and dance from Nigeria, I'm going to have someone write down the words so I can teach it on outreach and when I get home. I'm starting to realize that Guadalupe may be my dts outreach, but Maryland is my life outreach.

God's in Love with you.

Outreach

Local Outreach is finally over

This week our DTS split into two groups. The Antigua team and the Guadalupe team. We all spent the week serving in our teams and spending time together to get a small taste os what our 8 week outreach will be. I had a hard time. Most of my close friends are in the other group so I felt left out most of the time, but the ministry was challenging and pretty fun. We visited an orphanage two times; the kids were so adorable and playful. It breaks my heart that they don’t have the family structure so many of us were privileged to have. Some of them had special needs; some had learned to talk and then just stopped all speech, some cried the whole time we were there, we had kids that would not let us put them down. Overall it was a great experience we spent 4 hours playing and loving them. Leaving was awful. I almost felt bad for even going because the children had fun with us and then we just left and were never going back there. We made friends we’ll never see again. The kids must become so desensitized to people walking away from their lives. I know they enjoyed our time with them, but the they were so hurt when we said goodbye.
This trip made me think about my motives and why I even wanted to go there. Was it because I really wanted Christ to be displayed to these kids, or did I behave differently from someone who goes their just out of there own compassion. I realized I need to approach everyone with God’s Love, and with God because he is Love. I’m not saying that going to visit orphans out of compassion is wrong, but how much more affective is it to approach things while being in Gods will, while being ready to share and pray over the children, expressing love to them that the world can’t give?
We also did some “street evangelism” that’s when we walk up to people and share the word. I’m not really comfortable with this method, but I was more encouraged than discouraged at the end of the day. We walked around downtown Mandeville and made conversation. I don’t like really talking to people aggressively so we just asked them questions about what they believed and what they accepted when death arrives. Most people proclaimed the power in Jesus name, but some thought we just die. The people here are very interesting, we meat this one older woman who’s name was Mistress Gloria Plum. She had this awesome pink sequenced baseball cap on. It was really hard to understand the older folks because they’re “patwha” was really mumbled. At the end of every encounter we asked if individuals felt comfortable with us praying for them, most people said something along the lines of, “don’t pray for me or don’t bless me, pray for a blessing over everyone in the world” not many wanted their name to be spoken and lost of Jamaicans are humanitarian. We also met people that new the truth in Christ, but they just were not ready to live that way, they openly admitted they were okay with backsliding against the God they believed in. I think that might be harder to talk about than the gospel, because then it’s trying to explain how God wants to use them and that can be a hard truth to confront a stranger with. Overall, this was a good experience but I think City Reach is much more affective ministry because people come to us. It’s easier to resent the Love of God when someone engages you in a conversation. But, in the end it doesn’t matter how things play out because if the word of life is spoken or shown it’s a victory. I realized that I need to live out the Word. I need to be ready to share, do, or help people with the Lord’s intentions and compassion. Simple things like going o the grocery store, getting gas, everyday errands are a time to love people. I’ve always known that I just forget about it. I hope I become more aware and less afraid. I also wan to acknowledge that being sensitive to the holy spirits leading is the key to this. Sometimes you don’t need to share.
We also spent time in the Mandeville base helping with the Christian Elementary school that operates there. The kids were so crazy and funny. They were really excited we were there and they loved us. Every time we would walk to lunch or resses we were holding at least ten tiny hands, and when we sat in a circle to read everyone was trying to sit next to us. It was really fun to experience that kind of unconditional love. Even if we had to discipline the children, three seconds later they loved us just the same. The teachers really appreciated our help. It was nice to feel needed and used. That affirmation bonded our team; we always left school with a funny story. I’m so happy to be home and I’m o excited for the week ahead. I missed my friends and I have a ton of laundry to catch up on. I think we might go in town tonight for dinner and a reggae concert. I’m excited but nervous; you never know what’s going to happen in town.