Here we go!

I am so very excited I was given the opportunity to speak last Sunday about my YWAM trip. Usually, when i prepare a presentation I practice completely differently than the speech comes out in the end. I will have skipped over a major point or forget to say who I am. There always seems to be some "DUHHH" moment, leading to my embarrassment. But, Sunday was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I trusted God this time. I didn't doubt before I stepped upfront. I knew he had given me a clear message and His power made it eloquent and well constructed. The Holy spirit took control and my own fears were dismissed. I need to start surrendering every moment of life this way. Trust he will do something, be sensitive to the Holy spirits prompting. I really enjoined being able to express His good works, His faithfulness, His Mercy, His Love and all those other qualities He possesses.
It is so exhausting to speak for an hour. When all was said in done I slept for about three hours. I had been so twittery with excitement that I about slipped into a comma afterwords. I imagined for a long time what speaking to my church would look like, but all my expectations were surpassed by His leading. I feel like this experience was the last chapter for my YWAM life, right now, and new things are on the horizon! I've just started my first week back to school. I only have two classes, but the are condensed to 7 week courses. I'm currently looking for a job and a way to raise a little money for a car. I was going to get a car, but it's reliability is less than perfect. I really want to do some mission activities with my church. I think it would be fun to have a, "Skit Saturday" whomever wants to participate can come and we'll learn a few skits and have a practice day. Then, we can go to Baker Park or wherever and perform. This would be a great way to engage people and share the message of Christ. I know a lot of talented people, and this has potential!

Well then, Jesus is Real and Jesus is worthy!

Blessed left and right

I have been provided for once again. I am soon getting a car (and ready to learn stick shift), I have enough money for school books, and I'm hearing my God more in more. God speaks to me by uniting my circumstances. The same topics, places, and people, keep reentering my life. I know there are some hard things ahead, but I'm ready. I'm letting go of relationships that need to be let go. I'm more comfortable with excepting the fact that some people don't like me, and the fact that some people ask a very great deal of me. My friends are in dark places in life, but God is faithful. They are continuing to seek and find the Lords grace in a time when most people give up. Perseverance is such a gift from the Lord. Lets lie for today, in this time in this moment! God's going to tell us what to do...

Speak Lord.... OK

woo! I am so excited. God has been speaking and it has been awesome! I just got home from spending a few nights with my friends in Lynchburg VA. I had not gotten to send any quality time with them and my schedule is about to pick up. I was blessed to go there and back by the kindness of others! My friend Davey works for Liberty University and he took me to look at the school! I asked for the Lord to speak to me and he did. I noticed they have a really large tower there and I asked Davey what was in there, he didn't know so we looked around the campus and i went to the Wednesday morning chapel. In the message they talked about how the very tower I just asked about was going to be the new theatre! They had worked out a deal and were able to afford brand new facilities! That's not a big deal if you don't know that I was thinking about going there for a degree in Drama Ministry! Oh cool, that morning they discussed something that directly affected my plans for going there. I was thinking about how I hadn't done much acting in the passed two years. I started to get worried my talents had faded, then the speaker said, "I used to have a speech impediment, but now I make my living speaking, Gods strength is in our weakness." I was blown away. OK Lord you have been speaking to my heart! My plan is to attend Liberty University in Fall 2010. There are no coincidences in the kingdom of God, so here we go. After another year at Fcc I'm planning to apply to LU.

I have been so productive in the last few days! I am steadfast in completing my presentation for my church about my mission trip. There is just too much to tell I'm going to narrow down all the stories i want to share, but i am making copies of a a lot of my material. I may not be able to fit everything in a 1 hour presentation, but I'm going to have the resources available so people can learn much more! I really want my church t naturally send student to do a discipleship Training school with ywam. It is such a great way to get closer to God, work out all you baggage, and discover if mission work is something you could do with your life! I highly recommend it! I feel like people think going out like I did is impossible. It's not! I went because God provided everything and he would do the same for others!

Well, back to the project!
Blessings!

When Jesus saw their faith he said, "Friend your sins are forgiven."
Luke 5; 20

HOT DoG!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Balls Rollin'

So Ive been preparing to share at my church and visiting old Friends this last week and a half, and today I signed up for some classes at FCC! I'm really happy yet, terrified. My tuition is paid for, but the transportation is still unknown. It's times like these where trusting the Lord can be so difficult. I just have to remember my time is not His, my plans are not always His, but He is going to do what's best for me! It is really exciting and stressful. One minute I'm crying in fear and the next he's answered my prayer in an unthinkable way. An extremely intelligent friend of mine reminded me of the Israelites walking through the parted sea. That must have been such an unexpected answer for an escape plan! How much faith it must have taken to take the first step onto the dry sea floor seeing that all the millions of gallons of water could smash into you from both sides. God is unexplainable and unexpected. I can't wait to see how He parts the sea for me or if he sends a boat, whatever the transportation looks like, It will be for my benefit!

One week Back

So it has officially been one week since I returned home. It has been an interesting experience. I think I expected people to have changed as much as I have on some levels, but I'm realizing that's not the case. I have to keep reminding myself to be understanding. For the most part I've really enjoyed seeing old faces and visiting others. soon I will be presenting about my adventure to my church and other Christan groups. I'm asking the Lord to show me what needs to be said. I'm trying to be sensitive to the Holy spirits leading.
The future looks so endless right now. I am currently working on getting a vehicle and a job. I really want to continue working with children, but not in the position of a personal nanny. Tomorrow I'm going to Frederick community college to try and get in asap. The long I'm not in school, the harder it will be for me to go back. I really want to keep my schedule simple and active. I don't think I'm going to stretch myself as thin as I was before I left. My first focus is the car, work, school situation and the other plans will fall into place.
I'm having a really hard time being at home. It's really nice having alone time, but it;s getting old quickly. I'm trying to keep myself busy with preparing to speak at my church, and sending out my final newsletter. There is so much on the horizon and once again I'm lacking patients. I had some amazing one on one time with the Lord and I know he'll keep me productive. I need to appreciate this time of rest and delight in the stillness He's given me.

1 Peter 4; 19

I'm trying to have a memory verse each week!

Bye Ja

Well, I have some time to kill while waiting for my flight in the Montego Bay airport…

WOW….
It’s over…
My friends are home…
My school is finished…
My plane is getting ready….
My future is limitless…
My heart is full…

I am so very happy to have successful completed my Discipleship Training school. I am so excited to see what’s next. These are some ideas I’ve had. I’m in the process of seeking confirmation from the Lord.

-Serving my church (in whatever means available)
-Joining a small group
-Evangelical trips into Frederick
-Community College
-School of Performing Arts (Belize/India 2010)
-Staffing a youth camp in Jamaica this summer
-Taking a dance class
-6 week leadership school in Australia (2009)


These are just a small fraction of the millions of ideas and activities floating around in my head! Above all these I will be spending more time in the presence of the Lord/realizing I’m in His presence. The best part about all these desires is that I’m not doing anything until I hear fully and completely from God. By surrendering all these things and hearing from God, I can ONLY do His will. Though I may want to reach the World, God may have different plans. I’m ok with doing His plan because it’s so much better for Him and for me. I know His protection and guidance will give me the grace to respond in obedience.

The Debriefing Week

Well, everyone has arrived safely back in Jamaica from outreach. Our team is here from Guadeloupe, my other classmates made it safely from Antigua, and the School of Performing Arts just got back from Belize. This week has basically been a long, but helpful series of meetings. We’ve been practicing how to write a news letter, learning about other YWAM schools and opportunities, figuring out how to reenter our home life, and recapping outreach.
We have all been really emotional and blessed in this time. Coming back to Jamaica was so nice. It has become a second home for us all. The new DTS students are here and we’ve been having a wonderful time making them feel welcome and familiar with life on the base. I’m so excited to keep in touch with them and hear how God will grow them. They all seem very dedicated and mature.
My team met with the directors of the base and our outreach leaders. We were able to express our encouragement and constructive criticisms about the leadership during our time in Gwada. I was able to honestly express my concerns. I’m so happy I didn’t hold back, that God gave me the boldness to speak truth. We talked about when our other team member left and the affect it had on us all. We were really stretched emotionally on outreach. We had extended forgiveness to our team member and attempted to make him feel included, but we faced many hardships. This individual really caused the team to suffer. He did not accept our attempts towards him. He distanced himself from the team and became very inactive. We shared all this with our leader and he understood that by keeping this person as long as he did, he was not doing what was best for the team. Even though he could have left sooner, we were all pushed emotionally unlike never before. I’m glad my outreach was hard. I will carry this life lesson with me as I continue working with others in a team setting.
We had a lecture about coming home and realizing that a church and a mission base function differently. I was afraid of being over critical, but my questions were answered and I have some great tips on getting involved and serving again in my home church. I am excited for home and I’m trying to soak in the Caribbean while I still can. We have begun preparing for graduation and tomorrow we will have our final assessments. Our assessments are an overview of how the base staff feels we succeeded and struggled during our time in DTS. I’m looking forward to this time. I know I’ve come a long way and I still have a long way to go, that’s the beauty in following Christ, we are never done learning, lives are spent becoming more and more like the Lord and getting closer and closer to him.
Last night we had our community meeting this is were the base meets together and hears from that week’s speaker or someone of the base. It’s a fun night because those that home school or travel throughout the day can meet with the rest of the schools. All of YWAM Mo Bay comes together. We were privileged to share about outreach and hear from the other teams. My team shared our skit, gave a testimony about our prison ministry, sang a song we learned in French, and made a slide show highlighting our ministry in the nation. We had such a great time and the group was really receptive to our stories and struggles. It was fun for us to share. Sandra led the opening in French and I translated into English, just to give the crowd an understanding of how we had to communicate in the nation. It was so cool to hear what God did in and through the teams in Antigua and Belize.
Have an amazing day, week, and forever. I can’t wait to see what’s next and trust God completely for His leading and direction. Lose your life in Him, So that you can find it!



Oh, I forgot! We came back from outreach one day early so we went into the city in Montego Bay and performed our mimes. We had a large crowd people clapped when we were finished. It was so scary at first, but God is good he gave us the strength and courage to creativly minister to the town. After we let go of our fear. We didn't care about what people thought we were performng to the Lord and asking Him to toch lives. It's never us its always Him.

So, one of my team mates has be struggling a lot on our outreach. He has committed many offenses and has had a lot of chances to change his attitude, but the same choices keep being made. So in his best interest he is going home tomorrow. We only have 3 days left here, but that’s not the point, if someone’s not ready their simply not ready. We are all doing ok. He is not bitter or angry about leaving, so praise God. I think he’s realizing that by leaving he’s being honest and open. He knows this is not his time, and he can always do another DTS. I think this is the best thing for him. I’m so happy that he wants to continue serving the Lord and be a witness to Gods Goodness! This is however hard on our team. He is apart of us all and we will miss him. Sometimes God timing doesn’t makes sense to us that’s why it’s His timing, we can’t possibly understand.

We've also had really serious news from our leaders. They're family has suffered a loss. Please pray for patients. This is devastating for us all. We will continue to support them and surround them with Love. We will keep praising God! It has been quite an intense day.

We lead a church service this morning and it was great. In the midst of all this pain, we still brought the Word, and had some great conversation and fellowship with the congregation. This church is in the "house" or "pioneer" phase. They meet in different homes every week and then have a long and relaxed lunch. We started the service with a skit and we talked about 1 Corinthians 12; 14-31 and how we are all given different talents to work as a part of the body of Christ. I shared a testimony about our team and how each one of our responsibilities on outreach fits us perfectly. We asked people to write down their talents and give them back to God. If they dance, dance for Him. If they love math, calculate for His glory. If they can build, build something and give Him the due credit. I think it went really well, it was nice to get off the base again and see a little more of God in this nation.

This world has nothing for me, I will Follow YOU (Jesus)

Perfect Plans

Wow! God surpassed all of our expectations for this weekend. Last night was our biggest youth group meeting thus far. We had at least thirty people come. I was very nervous but God gave me peace, we had a great time eating, playing, games, and bringing the message. I gave my first teaching, yeah there were plenty of mistakes, but I can’t believe God gave me the grace to finish. I can’t wait for next time. We had a great night.

And… this morning we were able to go to the prison! I was very nervous but the men there were maybe some of the nicest people we’ve encountered here on the Island. They were so polite and receptive to the message. We did a skit called, “Empty Heart” its about a girl filling the void with earthly pleasures and just before she ends her unfulfilling life, she choose to follow the Lord. I play the girl and my friends are all the different earthly desires. I cry every time we perform. Then Josiah gave a testimony about a time he almost committed suicide. Finally our leader shared about God being our father. He focused on how earthly fathers may have failed us, but our heavenly father is perfect. Everything went really smoothly. After we finished a young man came up to us. He told us our message was his life story. He has three children; he had scars of his many attempted suicides. I know we were sent there for this young man. Before he spoke to us I could tell there was something different about him. He was a very genuine and kind. I can only imagine what else God did through us for those who were too shy to share. I was so blessed and joyful being around these people.

We thought this weekend would be a bunch of cancelations, but instead God answered our prayers and allowed us to share His affective message to these people. Once again I’m made speechless by the Almighty! Send up some praise, for He is Good!

Our Father in Heaven,
Hallowed be your name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us of our debts,
As we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
In Jesus Name, Amen

The Strike "Strikes" Back.

The first week we arrived here in Guadeloupe there was a nation wide strike. The people of Guadeloupe are upset with how expensive it is to live here. Various companies all shut down. We couldn’t get gasoline, the food stores were closed, along with electricity, and water in some places. This lasted about four days. The government finally lowered the price of gas and the nation started back up again. This didn’t really affect us. We were still settling and just getting to know our surrounding area. But, now we are in the middle of yet another strike. The prices of gas have slowly risen again and people are angry. There have been reports of people burning cars and vandalizing stores throughout the Island. This began on Tuesday. We were expecting it to last two days, but that’s not the case. This morning we walked to a small bakery to get breakfast and we saw the police at the gas station allowing select cars to use the pumps. We all thought it was over, we were rejoicing because we fasted and prayed for an end. Unfortunately, are assumptions were wrong. Instead of the strike ending it is now escalating. The only people allowed to get gas were nurses, doctors, police, and fire fighters. The airport has been shut down and the people continue to withhold until there is a change. We are very concerned. By Gods grace we still have power and running water. Our hotel has a generator and runs off of a spring.
We had several ministry opportunities planned this weekend; Running a 2 youth meetings, leading a church, and visiting a prison. All of these have, as of right now, been canceled. I have everything I’m teaching on prepared and we’ve practice very diligently. We know God is trying to teach us. I think there has been a lot of times were we felt ineffective, but right now were at a low. Our desire is to serve this nation. Please pray for our continued safety. Ask for an end to this strike. We have enough gas to make it to the airport next Wednesday so pray that the airlines are running again. We are seeking God. He knew this would happen, we trust His will is going to be accomplished. We just have no idea what that looks like.

My Friends

God has blessed me with my team and my home. I have been so inspired lately and so humbled. I was letting y own pride and judgments get in the way of my work her. I was so angry with people here. People were skipping out on work, everyone had a negative attitude and I was judging with harsh reactions. I basically wasn’t here for a whole day. I turned out everything. After doing this I realized, once again, that its not about me. It doesn’t matter how tired or bored I am, God has given me the grace and patients to work here. I confessed my anger to the team I told them I was furious, and I apologized for my critical self righteous behavior; it’s so easy to fall into sin. I’m so happy that God keeps working on me and everyday I learn something new about myself. My team was forgiving and they helped me stop believing the lies I was hearing. I felt like my work here was useless. I have not seen a lot come from our work here. My friend Sandra told me that this may be God protecting us from becoming prideful. I was already struggling with pride the last thing I needed was something else to boast about. I know my work here is increasing Gods kingdom. So many loved ones wrote me about my feelings and helped me get out of my cycle of self pity! Hallelujah He must become greater and I must become less. Lord, shrink me; give me the patients and joy that comes from doing your work. I spent the evening praying and consoling my friends, we are learning what it means to be open and honest. Staying in the Light is the never-ending theme of outreach! It’s really hard to be open but the blessings that follow are so worth it. I can’t wait to see what else happens in this next week.

Today we are presenting at a church. I think it’s so crazy that these churches invite us to preach. They don’t know us, they are not even that familiar with YWAM, but God has given us favor here and we present almost every Sunday. I’m doing a dance, I’m nervous, but it doesn’t matter. I’m only dancing for the Lord and leaving all preconceived judgments about my abilities behind. He will give me the moves. He will give me the courage. Why wouldn’t I be able to express a part of the any blessings he poured over my life? I’m getting a little crazy. The Lord is removing so much timidity in my soul. I want to have discernment while representing Him.

I’m blessed by those who include the creator in our friendship. Thanks.

Psalm 62; 8

Blah...

.I'm told that everyone on DTS feels like this at least one time, so I guess its my time. I feel so unproductive. I know I'm being productive, but I don't know why I feel the opposite. I think I'm ready for the next phase of life. I have so many ideas and interests for the future that I'm done with the present. I know God doesn’t want me to lose my passion for this time, but I'm having trouble being energized and diligent. I also feel burnt out. We’ve been really active and I don't understand my behavior sometimes. One minute I shedding tears of joy, I feel like my chest will rip in half and my heart will fall out because Jesus Loves me so much and has blessed me beyond what my own body can control. Other times, I’m so annoyed with people and prideful that I snap at my team. I get so feed up being around people 24/7 I become a total jerk. Then, because I'm being such a jerk I question whether or not my worship was heartfelt. I'm confused and I know confusion is not from the Lord. I have so many different things flying through my head all the time. I'm really devoted and a million miles away from my work at the same time. So there, my stuff, it’s out there. I'm not crying out, just pondering in. "I despise my own behavior" I’m so happy DC Talk was brave enough to say it I don't know if I would have been.

Im 20!

It was been such a nice Birthday! My friends blessed me in such creative ways. I woke up to the Happy Birthday song and had breakfast with my two friends Tam and Sandra. I got a chocolate mix and a box of oat Cereal! I love Oats now, before I was never into healthy cereals, it was always frosted flakes, but now I want raisins and no sugar. After breakfast we spent time praying for the YWAM Caribbean region. Later, we planned out our youth meeting that we’re hosting tomorrow night. At lunch my friends made me a fancy place setting full of flowers and a happy birthday apple. I know some people are not familiar with the happy birthday apple so I’ll explain…basically it’s an apple with a party hat and a smile! In the afternoon our team volunteered some manual labor at a local mans house. His name was Mark, and he is by far the most peculiar man I have ever encountered. He Loves Jesus and Worship, but he seems to have some disabilities when it comes to social etiquette. Then the girls took me out for veggie pizza and ice cream. I had such a fun day. God blessed me with little trinkets and tokens of Love throughout the day! I got on facebook and was almost afraid at all the birthday comments, it was overwhelming. I’m so grateful for the well wishing that took place.

In other news, Outreach is officially half way to an end. As the next few weeks come to a close I will have to start thinking about home life and readjusting to the life I left. I really feel God calling me into consling, which was never an idea in my mind, but I’m continually affirmed in it. I also have such a passion for theatre. Who knows? Well, God does and I’m cool with that. I am really excited for the cold weather. I really love wearing mittens and hats.

My Team is doing well, we are still having issues with one student, the problem is not entirely his sin it’s the fact that there has been some lying and deceiving happening. We have really been trying to be open and up front with one another. This concept has been really hard for me in the past. I don’t open up when I should and I say too much other times. I guess all believers, Christians, followers of Jesus (I don’t have a term to classify people that are trying to live this way) struggle in this area. I know I’ve matured in some ways, but I tend to allow a fear of man to hold me back. I also think when I’m around people that challenge what I say, it makes me more thoughtful about my opinions…ok I’ve gone off on a bunny trail, we are trying to live in the “light” and be/remain there. We’ve been listening to that DC Talk classic a lot. Pray, and I’ll pray for those reading, that we stay shining, there is so much freedom that comes with honesty and openness.

I’m really happy because I’ve been keeping up with my daily time with the Lord for this entire year! It sounds like such an accomplishment, and yet its only been 8 days. I’m still proud of myself and I hope I can keep it up. It so important to be refreshed by the scripture, I was listening to a speaker named Francis Chan. He gave an excellent lecture on truly wanting to know Gods will for our lives, without hesitating or being fearful. Sometimes we say we want Gods will because we know it’s the correct answer, but do we really want to know what He would ask us to; give up, change, leave behind, and accept if we sincerely wanted to live the way our Lord intended us to? This challenged me in so many ways. I want to be so sold out for God that I leave it all, and add whatever He Wills.

Crazy Week

It’s been crazy. On Saturday we went to a local Radio station and shared about YWAM. We were all interviewed and gave short testimonies about how we were brought to
Guadeloupe. Our show was only supposed to be a 30 minute segment but it lasted for an hour and a half! I think we did a great job of answering questions and representing the Kingdom! We even sang a few songs. I think the station is making us a copy of the show, which will be cool to hear. It’s so weird to hear your voice recorded, I sound so much cooler in my own mind then on recordings.

Later tonight we are going out again to feed people. We’ve prepared 30 salami and cheese sandwiches with; juice, cookies, candy, and a banana. We wanted to give a modest amount of food, while still filling stomachs. I think some of the people in the city are starting to recognize us. More and more people ask us about what were doing every time we go out.

We had to do and inductive bible study this week. We had to pick a chapter from one of the four gospels and present it to the team. We had to find a key word, verse, and paragraph. We also had to identify literal and figurative language, ask any questions we had about the chapter, show how we can apply what we learned to our lives, and present a creative expression. I loved dong this. I read all these commentaries and gained so much from this assignment. I’m' sharing on Matthew 15. I created a rap and I'm doing a dance to a Josh Garrels song (big surprise) it is so funny that I'm dancing. I don't think I would have ever done it before, but throughout my dts I've been worshiping more and more through this creative form. I'm a dork, but I know the Lord likes it!

Tomorrow we are going to pray and see where God leads us for the day. I really enjoy doing this; it reminds me of the "special opps" team I was in during my churches annual mission trip last year. We just get in the car and find ways to bless.

I can't believe I'll be 20 in two days. It seems so weird. I don't think 20 is old. I just never imagined I'd be celebrating in Gwada (that’s slang for Guadeloupe).

Yesterday I was able to have some alone time with the Lord. It’s hard to sit and think in silence around here. I enjoy living in community, but the quiet is so good for my soul. I appreciate it so much more now that its such a rare thing in my lie.

Well I think I'm going to go on a walk. Please pray that I stop thinking about home. I'll be there soon enough. I've been having dreams that I'm back, it’s nice, but I need to be Here Now.

Jeremiah 29; 11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"