Atchi

Seminar coming to a close

2011-05-26T20:27:00.001-07:00

here in Juarez we have one more day of minisrty. Our two week seminar is coming to a close and our students are presenting there 3 minute final projects. They have all worked so hard. Sometimes the students were frusterated about the dance classes but all of them tried there best. This is such an act of spiritual warfare. When people step out of fear and try new and werid things it is a stand against Satan. The enemy wants people to let fear hold them back, some of the students were well over 60 but they were doing all the hip hop moves and trying the break dance moves. This is such an awesome act of faith and trust in God I am so encouraged by their faith and confidence in God they truly depend on Him and trust He can carry them through anything. I will be so sad to say goodbye next week but I believe God has used us to bring a new and refreshing view of the arts to this base. During this weekend we will be debriefing about the school and doing a few more bonding activities together before we go out to our homes all over the world. Please pray for our students for tomorrow that they would continue to step out in faith after we have left and work in the performing Arts. Also please pray for my many friends in this school that God would give them clear direction in the next part of their lives to get specific please pray for.... Chan Min, Gohoon, Jen, Hannah, Sarah, Lizzie, Bryan, Vanessa, Sebastian, and Daniel. Many of them are unsure of the future and have the whole world at their feet. Please pray for guidence and Gods will in their lives. I love them very much and I am so blessed to have traveled down this road alongside such humble and willing brothers and sisters in Chirst!

Maryland here I come!

Made it to Juarez

2011-05-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we made it to Juarez. The plan for our time here is to do a ten day performing arts seminar. I will be teaching about creating warm ups and 3 hours of hip hop training. The base here is very excited about learning and we have a lot to share. The base here also runs an orphanage so we will be spending time with the children ther and possibly teaching dance there as well. I am really relaxed here Juarez is really dry dessert and often they have sand storms, and even though that does not sopund very appealing, I love it here. We have a lot of land to wlak and the sky is full of stars at night. I enjoy city life but it here we feel the presence of Gods peace. we are alsoi really happy becasue we spen the last 3 weeks sleeping on the floor and here we have amazing cozy beds and my back is really happy. I am glad this is our closing time of outreach we are ready for God to keep growing us and as always change us to be more like him.

something interesting that happened today... We had a time of intercession this mornig about Juarez. people say this is the most dangerous city in the world with the drug cratel and murder rate, but I thought about it today, maybe the stats are against this place but I feel realy at peace here. During our prayer time I felt God reminding me to again, believe the truth, maybe because so many people over react and speak negativly about this city is influencing its citizens. When people talk about something enough it can sometimes become the truth, that maybe people act on evil impulse becasue it is what they are expected to do. So my prayer is to stop looking at the bad or dangerous but expect Gods good here and look at the beauty in this place and remember Jaurez is Gods city, His plan is very powerful for this place.

Living here and now, but remembering home in my heart....

2011-05-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

hello all. Mexico City has been a blast we have been doing performing arts seminars and evangelistic outreach performances for the past two weeks non stop. We have seen God do so much and people in Mexico really have a desire to learn more about the arts and using them as a tool to spread the gospel. Last week we traveled to Tulca Mexico and worked with a University there. We did a two day seminar teaching dances and children's ministry and then performed for a small community and government officials. we have been so blessed to be able to perform so much and be in contact with leaders of this nation.

On Saturday we are leaving for Juarez Mexico. We will be living on the YWAM base there and teaching in some churches in the area. The leaders have made it clear we will be really busy there so for the next few days we are taking it slow in the city. Today we did a prayer walk through the town and explored more of our community. we are living in a home.

Tonight some of our leaders are heading back to Korea and Hong Kong for a conference. Our team is losing 4 members, but we know God still has a plan for us in Juarez. God keeps changing the dynamics of our team and its keeping us flexible. we really go with the flow and keep fighting for God's will to be done in and through us.

One Crazy Day!

2011-04-25T18:01:00.000-07:00

Today we went to a church about 45 minutes of of the city. We did a three hour seminar on performing arts. Some of our team taught children to dance and the other half gave a lecture. Me and two other leaders spoke on Evangelism. We talked about what it is why it is so important and the many forms and misconceptions that can happen while sharing the gospel. I was really nervous before I went on but God once again gave me the grace to keep going. After we had finished our teaching the church feed us some amazing food. The woman in charge of the churches event shared with us a little about that area of Mexico. She told us how grateful she was that we were there giving our time. She told us we could be anywhere in the world working for ourselves, but we have chosen to be there impacting their children. She told us that her passion is to make a Godly impact on kids lives before the drug cartel situation does. Apparently drug lords have begun recruiting children early so they can pass through the border with less trouble and security checks. She also told us how many children have been kidnapped in the area. They were so kind and so welcoming to our team. It really humbles me to be apart of making a Godly impact in this church and with these adorable children. We will be spending the rest of the week teaching and hopefully this weekend we will be holding a free concert to perform and evangelize.

On our way to the church today we faced many complications. We could not use on of our vehicles so we had 15 people in a 7 passenger van driving in the heat and traffic with no AC. We had a tire randomly come off the wheel of the car, we got lost on the way, and we had to drive through a really bad smelling construction site. We also had a few team members that were really sick. Also, on the way home we were stopped by a police officer. we turned on a one way street while we were lost. He pulled us over and threatened us saying he wanted a bribe or we would fine us and take us to the station. We prayed for about 20 minutes and then our school leader meet up with us while we were pulled over. She was able to speak with him and he allowed us to go free. This was a really scary situation and a perfect example of the corruption living in this country. We know all of these complications were an attack from satan. God has a great plan for us in this church and we can feel the strongholds breaking. We will continue to pray for God's power and provision to be on our team. I was a really intense day but we know the Lord is at work!

Ephesians 6;18

Mexico City

2011-04-21T18:21:00.001-07:00

Today we flew out of Cancun and into Mexico City. God did so much good in us in Cancun! Our classmate Damaris works with Youth With A Mission Cancun so she is now back to serving there and will not be on the rest of outreach. We were able to pray for her and bring closer to here experience with us. I believe God will do more with her life and the performing arts. The rehab center we visited was amazing I was able to share my testimony and really encourage some moms who were there and pray for them.

Mexico City is little different from the beach. I really feel submersed into the culture here. We are going to be resting for the next two days and then I believe next saturday we are putting on a concert and showing all of our dramas and dances. I have also been asked to teach with my friend Jen in Evangelism. We spent a lot of time praying and were going to focus on why we should evangelize and the importance in sharing the whole gospel. A lot of times especially in my own culture we want to share with non believers only about God's love and desire for us, yet we leave out the reality of hell and the desperation we are stuck in by our own sin and human nature. It takes courge to share these things and to teach. I really want to speak God's message and not my own so we will see how it goes.

Hopefully I will be able to sned more updates about our time here! PLease pray for housing there are a few days towards the end of our time here we don't have a place yet, God met our needs in Cancun and we are confident he will do it again here. The last two days of Cancun we were able to stay with our contact who got us into the children's government home. The group has there own ministry and they work out od a mansion, so needless to say we know God is in favor with our work and wants to provide special things for our team.

May His love be seen in you today, tomorrow, and forever

Cancun part 2

2011-04-15T09:55:00.000-07:00

What a blast! Cancun is a really beautiful and busy place. We were able to go back to work with the children in the government program. We made a Hip Hop dance for them and they really enjoied learning it. Even though our team was not permitted to share the gosple with them we were still praying for them and showing them love and encouragement. One little boy gave us a certificate of recognition when we were leaving and he shared with us that now he loves dancing and wants to keep dancing thoughout his life. We also were able to be there when the director of the agency was visiting she was very happy with our program and YWAM is no allowed to return and work more with the children. It was so great one of the days we were there we performed for a group of elderly people visiting they loved our dance and then showed us a dance they had been learning. We all danced together and had a blast. I think maybe 10 elderly women kissed me that day. They were so much fun! It is amazing to be able to bring joy to others through dance and to receive it back! Again God is good.

My health has improved as well. My infection is gone and I no longer have a fever. I am really glad to be back to almost 100% my back has been a little sore, but we have been performing a lot. Some other people in our team have been sick or have had old injuries flair up again. I firmly believe this is a spiritual attack God has such powerful things planned for us and Satan wants to keep us back, but we are going to press through and learn when to rest and when to fight.

Last night we gave a three hour workshop on different areas of the performing arts and how they are used to display the gospel. We were invited to a church by the pastor. The church is a very famous and large church thoughout Mexico so it was a big honor to go and teach. We were really encouraged by how excited they were to learn. While we were leaving they talked about starting a new ministry in performing arts. That would be so amazing in Cancun so many people from all over the world come here.

Personally I had a revelation the other night about an area I am growing in. During the lecture phase I sometimes struggled with gossip and not using wisdom with my words. I can see God really helping me to speak only what lifts up others like in Ephesians 4: 29 So it is great to see this change in me, but now the challange is taking every thought captive and removing the thinking negatively. But in God we never stop growing so it is great to see when we overcome our struggles through the Lord.

Today we are planning on going to a park and doing an open air performance. We have been praying a lot about this show and we haope to meet many people and talk about God with them and that our dramas and dances would envoke emotion about the truth of the Lord Jesus.

We have been very busy and tired, but knowing people are reading and praying helps so much in the times of trial. Thank you and know this is not my work but ours in the kingdom of God. Be blessed and enjoy your day. I pray wherever you may be that warm weather meets you and God tells you a way you have grown and you would in turn give Him praise!

Pressing on....

Cancun Part 1

2011-04-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

It has been a super intense past week. We left Ensenada last week for Cancun. We spent about two days traveling. I was quite sick with an infection in my body so honestly I don't remeber much. My team was really helpful though and we all made it safely. I went to another hospital here in Cancun and they gave me the right antibiotics so I am slowly recovering. I find with my back injury and now this God is cahllanging me to rest. My whole life I have tried to rest very little, but now that it is forced on me I am gainging a new focus. I am reading my bible more which is something I habve been craving for a long time but can't sit still long enough to read it. So I have been seeing new parts of the Old Testimate I've never read before. I also have a weakness for thinking about my body too much then wanting to work out and being sick that cannot happen so I am learning true rest in this time.

Aside from the health world, we are really busy here in Cancun. We went to a center for children last week. The kids there are in transition and will then go to foster parents. Sometimes they are there for a few days other times a few years. So God gave a the chance to go and perform with them. We then lead a workshop on Hip Hop. The kids were so fun and happy and really sweet to us. That was our first day of ministry so I was still felling very sick, but with them I was fine. God really sustains me when He needs to . We are making up a dance and editing a song fo them so when we go back tomorrow we can give them a dance that is just theres. We want to give them a joyful memory and a dance to keep.

Another exciting ministry time was this past Sunday. We went to a local church and did our hip hop dance and a drama we have about the many doors and paths in life. The pastor was really great and we met a lot of other YWAM teams in Cancun. The church was a giant tiki hut that had once been a strip club, but went under and this pastor came in and God was able to redeeme it into a beautiful facility to spread the gosple. We had an awesome time of fellowshp and encouragement from other YWAMers. I thought it was so funny there has never been anyone from Maryland in many areas of YWAM, but when I do meet other YWAM teams there are always people from Lancaster, PA.... what is that? Its like, come on Maryland someone else join the missions team YWAM....

Anyway, we also lead some dance workshop. Here in Cancun there is a DTS running and we went to the students and taught about 8 hours durning the week on dance, theater, and fitness. It was really great to encourage them. As we were showing them techniqes for the first time I was reminded of how I looked the same way 14 weeks ago when all this began and how God really can change you if your willing to be stretched. The Dts is a gret group of young people and they really love our team. It will be sad to leave on the next phase of outreach, but I think we are looing forward to les humididty in Mexico City.

I hope to blog again soon, butthe web is limited to us so here are some prayer points I would really apperciate you sneding up to the big guy...

-safety in Mexcio
-People wouold come to know God
-Unity in our team
-Wisdom for our leaders
-Smooth transportaiton

Thanks agsin for readung it is so important for me to know people at home are on this journey with me.

God Bless!
Ash

The Next Phase

2011-04-01T18:56:00.001-07:00

Well we just finished our last lecture and rehearsal at the dance studio. It is hard to believe all that has happened in the past three months. our team is preparing for departure to our first location on Tuesday. The general schedule for outreach is 2 1/2 weeks in Cancun, 3 weeks in Mexico City, and then a final 2 1/2 weeks in Juarez. we now prepare to say goodbye to Ensenada and our four classmates not attending outreach. Our group will go down to 11 but we are all excited for the challenge.

We can only take a few items on outreach and we can only leave 1 bag behind with the remaining supplies. SO please pray we make space. We also will not be coming back to Ensenada for our debriefing that will be held in San Diego. Because of the weight limits of traveling we are not bringing computers only a few staff members will so I will only be able to send updates every couple weeks. Thank you so much for reading and praying with and for me. I will try and blog in each location sharing more of the goodness God is doing in Mexico. We have total of 8 performance pieces along with the final projects from each student. Please pray we will have wisdom on what and when to perform for the people of Mexico. I am so excited for the things God will real in this time and the change to spread the gospel by the means of art. This is apart of my vision for my life and I am excited to see God bring it into being. Pray for open hearts of the people of Mexico and safety over our bodies.

Faith
Hope
Love...

Ashley

Graduation!

2011-03-29T22:40:00.000-07:00

Here is the web address to my graduation. We are completing the 12 week lecture phase here in Ensenada and next week we are off to Cancun for our first outreach location. Thank you so much for the prayers and support. We will be having a time of sharing and celebrating and streaming our time on the web. We will be sharing a few performances and I would love to have you all connected! Thank you again for reading ad following God has been doing a mighty work and I look forward to the closing of this chapter and the opening of the next. Hope to see you! The streaming will be Wednesday March 30th at 10 pm Maryland time. Thanks again and may God bless you and remind you of how wide deep and great is His love for you!!!!

http://www.ywamensenada.com/

One week in Ensenada

2011-03-24T17:07:00.001-07:00

What an amazing week. Our new teacher is a Korean woman named Soo Lee she is so beautiful and kind and the lecture topic is focused on inner healing. I have experienced this a little when I was in my discipleship training school. It was an excellent time for me to identify the issues I had been struggling with. SooLee has been doing various exercises to help us gain an understanding of the hurt areas of our lives. We have been talking about forgiveness towards ourselves and towards others. One day we were asked to draw a tree, then we were asked to change the tree so it represents us. My tree had many holes in the bark along with many of small leaves all individually drawn. SooLee thought a lot about my picture but the basics were, that the holes were places I needed to let the lord into, places healing needed to come to, and the leaves were a representation of my future. I have so many desires, I have several career path interest, I have so many places I want to visit, I have so many people I want to spend time with and be a blessing too. I Honestly have so many dreams I don’t know where to begin. I am excited to see the places God will take me especially in the next 5 years to come.

We have also been speaking a lot about realizing the roots of our struggles. SooLee gave a great example of having to get to the source of our addictions. She has a thorn bush growing in her yard. So she cut off the branches and most of the tree, but a few days later it came back. So she went back out cut it down and then began to dig. She made a huge hole in her hard pulling up all the roots until she had to stop because the thorn bush was coming from a neighbor’s yard. Our sin and addictions works the same way. Many of you know that in the past I suffered from and purging my meals when I would eat to much. I desperately wanted control in my life and controlling food was an easy way to feel like I was in charge. On my discipleship training school God allowed me to conquer that sin It has been a long time since I have done that and I believe that the power of God has kept me healthy. But something I am realizing here is that I really deeply struggle with self confidence and being comfortable with myself.

So to relate this to SooLee’s teaching… the purging is the branches and trunk of the tree. It is the clear representation of my sin and hurt. It is visible, but what I am learning now is that the purging came out of self confidence roots. With God’s divine love and faithful teachers like SooLee I hope to further look into these roots and really remove this habit of self hatred from my lifestyle.

I am also realizing new weaknesses in my life. I sometimes try to play God especially in my family. I so desperately want them on the right path, or what I think is right. I try and give my opinion way too often and it comes across as judgment. I am learning to surrender the people I love, and that maybe I want to do something that is good but it is not the right timing. I want to speak at the Holy Spirits prompting not just hand out my own advice all the time.

In other news, my back is almost 100% I am able to do almost all my dances. It has been really interesting seeing life from the non physical I was forced to be in bed when I wanted so badly to participate but just as God told Daivd he was not to build the temple, I was told those projects were not for me to dance in. There is a time for everything as the bible says in Ecclesiastes chapter 3….

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I am learning so much about when and how to do things in life. I pray that this maturity would continue in the life of my classmates and me.
Outreach!!!!! So we are leaving next weekend. We have fun into some financial issues with other students but we are praying for God’s work to be done in last minute fundraising. It is really hard to believe that lecture is coming to an end! I am so thrilled for the adventure of outreach and the times of ministry and teaching ahead. Please be praying for our safety and team unity.

Thank you again for all of those reading, praying, and supporting. This has been a very intense journey and I look forward to the growing to come in outreach.
It is starting to warm up here in Ensenada and we have been able to walk on the beach during the weekends when we finish our homework. I walked the other day with my good friend Chanmin. She is a peppy hilarious Korean girl. Please pray for her both of her parents tragically past away a few years ago and she is battling with a tremendous fear of man. She feels it is too difficult to create dance pieces here. Join with me in prayer for her and for her to receive freedom from this spiritual bondage.

Another week down!

2011-03-17T13:46:00.000-07:00

So this week has been all about our final projects. We have been practicing and refining are pieces some people have started all over and changed completely. It has been a really good week, but I have noticed the art in this school is not the challenging part for me. What challenges me the most is my spiritual growth.

I have come to terms with my hatred of confrontation. In my mind it is always bad to confront and the few times I have done it I always cry. But luckily I have leaders around me who see that and are challenging me to grow. it was so bad that I was approached about making a mistake that I actually did not make. But because I hate confrontation I just said sorry and went away sad. I was that afraid of people I couldn't even defend myself or share the truth. I think this is the root of so many issues I have. It can be so hard for me to trust people. I think in my mind I assume everyone will let me down. This negative thinking has really distanced me from the leadership here. But thankful we had a meeting yesterday and I threw out all my emotions and concerns.

again, I am learning that being upfront is the best way to honor a relationship. I then approached people I had been talking about and fortunately they were all very forgiving. it is so hard to share sometimes, but I feel so much more free after having just been truthful. Please pray I continue to express my heart and that I would not just follow the crowd or keep things pent up in my heart.

We are graduating from the lecture phase in a few weeks and I believe we will do a live streaming of the ceremony so those at home can watch. I will make sure to get all the details out to you awesome readers. I hope to perform my final project so I can share it with you all! Oh and a special thanks to the people at OST, where my dad works. I know you guys are enjoying my blog and it really encourages me to know your reading and praying! Thanks again!

Oh and another special prayer request. This is a photo of my good friend Wen ji and I. She is from Malaysia and is planning to join the ministry team in Hong Kong. Before she can go she has to raise the funds and find monthly supporters this is really had to do in Malaysia. In her culture the children are expected to care for the parents once they have reached adulthood. SO for Wen ji it will be hard to have consistent support. She has a vision to minister to people in the arts and spread the gospel to famous artists all over the world. Please keep her in your prayers!!

2011-03-10T11:55:00.000-08:00

I have to say it has been the most unique week thus far of my trip. On Monday evening we performed at the carnival festival here in Ensenada. We got to do a really big production with a large stage, lights, and a fog machine. It was really funny because after we took our opening places on stage we saw the fog coming out at us. we all looked around at each other in excitement. We had a great performance and a wonderful turn out. But I pulled my lower back muscles during the middle of the show. I kept going till the end but by the time I got back to the changing area I was in tears. My muscles we seizing and severely strained.

My teammates quickly gathered around and all laid hands on my and began praying. I was then taken to the hospital and had some x-rays done and was placed on an i.v. It was kind of funny because they tired to put the iv in and it wouldn't take so the nurse was digging the needle into my arm. I could only feel the pain. I was unable to see what was happening because I was on my back. But I was really shocked when she moved to my other hand. Eventually the i.v. went in and I laid on a stretcher for about 45 mins. The staff was so nice and my leader Vanessa sat with me the whole time. They brought me home and I have been in bed since.

Shockingly enough I have not been too bored. The pain comes and goes but slowly I am on the road to recovery. I have been able to pray more and gain some solitude that I really needed. On Tuesday the team went to rehearsal and they reworked the dances without me and performed that very night at carnival. During there second performance a woman rededicated her life to Christ. It is so cool to be able to pray and still feel so apart of this group even though I am not physically there. And its great because all I have wanted to see is someone changed or saved. God is showing me the importance of being behind the scenes and having the ability to let go of my situation. Yes seeing people lead to Christ is an amazing thing, but we are called also to disciple one another and most times I find that a less important command and it's not so.

It was ironic because we do able study and every week we have to create a performance to reflect our readings. This week our team chose to create a dance to a song by Hillsong called, "Still" and literally I had to do that this week. I cannot dance for a few weeks. I could not even get out of my bad the last three days, but God is using this ti remind me that He is God. The girls came to my bedside and showed me that dance and it made me cry. It really looked so much better without me, and I don't say that to out myself down, but God made me being absent help them to create something beautiful. It is so humbling to be forced to be still. To be once again reminded of how real and powerful prayer is. I look forward to learning to be patient in healing.

Oh and we also know where we are going on outreach. I am very excited because we will be traveling to three different areas of Mexico. We will be teaching in school, working with children s homes, performing, and of course spiritual warfare. We will be spending two and a half weeks in Cancun, Mexico City, and Juarez. Each one of these places has an amazing history and very intense past in Mexican culture. We know God has big plans for us and we look forward to seeing Him provide.

When the Oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm. Father you are King above the flood. I will be still and know you are God.

Powerful words. Powerful God. My prayer is that in anything you are burdened with you would rest in Him. Let Him provide.

Ouch....

2011-03-05T10:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes growing can be so hard especially when it is in an area you feel mature in. This past two weeks has been so hectic for us. we are trying to finish our final project pieces, we have media homework every night, along with our very intense daily Schedule. Honestly I am so run down, but we have to keep fighting to finish. with four weeks left in the lecture phase and no final outreach destination, I am sure you can imagine how we feel.

I have been very challenged to watch my mouth this week. Gossip is a very easy habit to slip into, especially when your under a lot of stress.Plus I am learning so much about confronting this is a time to put that into place. I have some questions and concerns and I soon hope to meet with the leadership. I have such a hard time sharing with others about certain issues that I usually cry. Honestly not that crying i bad but I believe I do it out of a fear of man. I ask you to please pray for healed relationship and wisdom in our team.

Along with all these things we have almost every student paid in full for the lecture phase. this means no one will be in debt with Youth With a Mission and our focus can be outreach. Money came to us in amazing ways. God is definitely receiving the glory for that. As a few people may not be going on outreach our team dynamics will change, this and all of our performances will have to changed. We have been very flexible with whatever comes our way so I am sure we will be guided through the changes by grace....

But today!!! today is very exciting. The yearly Mardigra or Carnival festival is happening in Ensenada and we are planning to go two nights this weekend and dance and do some ministry. The base here went and set up a skate park for some kids to use and through that ministry wo young men were saved. We just want to serve people and display God's love in a place that it would not be likely to find. The base has a great chance to disciple these two young men. Ahhh it is so good to hear that happening it really lifts my spirits that God is being made known in a positive and comforting way, He is the God of all comfort.

So yes, God is moving and continuing to work, thank you for reading and praying and partnering with me in the work of the Lord. May He bless and keep you.

Computer...

2011-02-23T17:29:00.000-08:00

So this week marks a change in our school. We are now focused on the media portion of the school. We spend about 3 to 4 hours a day using photoshop and other tools for design. Please pray, we have many people that are first time users and we are all trying to adjust to the new programs, plus I really miss dancing and being active. But, we are learning the importance of profession design in the mission field and how being professional is important when sending a message. We all look forward to using these skill in other areas of life as well. It is amazing how much we can do to an image without having really expensive tools.

Our school is half way through, six weeks to go, and we have begun to also focus on the outreach portion. Outreach is an option for the school, but we would like to see everyone attend, this makes our team more powerful especially in our stage presence. There are several possibilities for outreach; Chile, Dominican Republic, Cuba, and possibly Haiti. We know we will be in more than one country during outreach so we will be hopefully booking flights next week. Personally I am all for Chile. I have always had a special interest in that country. I think God has a great sense of humor. Our school originally was planning to travel to Asia for outreach. I have such a passion to visit and minister in the eastern part of the world, but during prayer the Lord lead in a different direction. And funny enough most of those directions were in the Caribbean. Not that I am not super excited to be back in the Caribbean but I was hoping to see more of the world. it is so interesting where we may be taken. We all know God has big plans for us.

The Lord has granted us so much favor and power especially in the area of prayer. We have been praying for people to be healed, and it has happened, we have been praying for relationships and they are healed, we are praying for finances and we are confident the rest will come. I am learning so much about how important prayer is, especially for different countries, like America.

Being here has allowed me to see the United States from an outsiders perspective once again. I realize how many things really distract me there. Our country is so blessed and so very rich compared to the rest of the world. Not that technology is bad, but it has the potential. After not sending a text for two months I can safely say I don't miss being attached to my phone. It should be used to bless and not text about gossip. I realized how I text sometimes out of frustration instead of using it to be a way to pass along prayer or an encouraging word. I ask you, what are you using to waste time that you could be using to further God's kingdom? I know for me I am seeing all the silly idols I have in life. God honors our obedience, so maybe write a note or make someone dinner, or change the way you see the things you enjoy, how can you bless someone?

Here is a picture of our beach outside of our base. Most of our weekends are spent doing homework, but we made it a point to venture out and see more of Mexico. I had a great peace fall over me before I took this, I hope it transfers to you too.

Waiting, Hoping, Wishing, Thinking

2011-02-19T16:57:00.000-08:00

So I am going to keep giving you all my journal as an update from this week. We had these amazing teacher Jeff and Natalie. They spend there life teaching people how to dance and training up teams to travel the world and bring the gospel through the arts. It was such a joy to be around them and to learn from them. I have been praying a lot for people back home, a guy in my grad class committed suicide, so I have been praying for his family especially, also for my church. I feel there are some areas that need growth there but are not being nurtured. I also am learning a lot about waiting on God and trying to remember that his plan is so much better than my own. I have had a lot of ideas and exciting thoughts about my future so all in all I need to surrender my own ways, but that is just a little of what is on my heart, here is my weekly breakdown.

New – I learned a lot about the Levites this week and the great things God had them do in the bible. I never heard to story for Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20. In this the Levites go before the soldiers’ going to battle, God calls them to dance and praise Him before the victory happens. God promises victory to His people and they honor Him and believe Him by giving Him praise before He actually fulfills his word. The worshipers of God were put on the front line. I always like hearing Old Testament stories from different perspectives. Jeff and Natalie also taught in a really unique way. They almost did dance, preaching, and words of affirmation in one. They praise God and apply His word and ways to the time they are teaching dance. They don’t separate lecture and studio time they combined them together making dance a really intense worship experience. I was moved this week during dance and open to worship freely while learning the movement and praising God all at once. It was an awesome experience they have such a passion and joy for God.

Confirmation- I was so encouraged by Jeff and Natalie and the passion they have for the Lord. When Natalie spoke on Thursday she confirmed several things for me. I have been growing in my quiet time and I always want that to me more of a priority in my life at home. I think it is so important to have that time alone with God seeking only Him and not having the distractions that are at home. Natalie confirmed the importance of time with God in her testimony about how she moved to California and really grew in her knowledge of the Lord and was strengthened in her relationship with Him. I believe God is doing that in me now, but I still need to me searching harder and spending more time in His presences. I don’t have the responsibilities of home around me know and I believe that is so I will not be distracted from pursuing a better devotional time with the Lord.

Practical- Something I have wanted to work on is my mindset during dance. Jeff and Natalie are both very different but they praise God with there movement and they take the time to explain how movement can be a representation of scripture. I want to apply this to my final project I want my movement to clearly show what God has done in me. This week has encouraged me to be more diligent in my dance moves for my project. There is a part in my dance where I begin to realize I am caught in Sin I want to find movements that clearly show my struggle and pain.

YWAM Value 2- The base here has an amazing Homes of Hope project. Not only do they build homes for families but they share the gospel while blessing others. Many times the team puts up a house in 2 days and is able to share the gospel and lead people to Christ. They are not only making God know through creating housing, but through building relationships with the families in need and explaining what YWAM is all about, making God known to His people. I would really like for our class to be apart of the building process on weekend before we leave. I think it would be awesome way to bless and be apart of something that would partner us more with the base here in Ensenada.

Personally- I am doing well. I was so moved and motivated by Jeff and Natalie. They spoke so much encouragement to me about dance and worship. They were both understanding and challenging. I liked that we did a little acting in our dance about “Lust, Witchcraft, Greed, and Anger. I like these theatrical dances we have for our team. I also really feel like we are to go to Chile on outreach I don’t know why, but I have always had a special place for that country in my heart. I am excited to focus on outreach too. I am a nit nervous about the media weeks of the school. I like to be up and moving so I may get fidgety but I know I have so much to learn with work on the computer so it will be fun to create at a more professional level that way. I was really blessed by the devotional that Lizzie presented the other morning. She spoke about having confidence in God and I know I lack in that area, on of my prayer request is too stop over analyzing my body.

Journal excerpt

2011-02-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

So Each week we have to create a journal. It not only has to meet the written requirements, but the media technique is also held to a certain standard. We have to answer various questions about the weeks topic and speaker and then create a design to express an artistic approach on our past lesson. Our leaders have asked we not share the media portion of the journal, but I thought a great way to inform my supporters is to share the written portion.....

Confirmation- Our school has been taught a lot about our gifts/talents/dreams. I feel as though each speaker has encouraged us to follow God and continue working on the raft he has given us. This was again confirmed in Randall’s teaching, on Monday he opened his talk explaining about how God will excel us when we not only practice, but accept the gifts he has given us. This is really one of the bigger foundational lessons in our school. I was also confirmed in the fact that God has blessed me with dance abilities, when our team met together to practice the material from the mentor crew I had not forgotten. This was really exciting I want to continue to honor our teachers, and God allowed me to do that and encourage me about hip hop dance technique.

New- I feel as though I learned some new technique, but mostly I feel I have gained an entirely new look on the spiritual side of God’s thoughts towards the arts. Our speaker Randall clearly has God’s anointing over his life’s work. I love that Randall not only has an amazing testimony, but he also really knows and studies the bible. One thing Randall helped me to see is God’s desire to bless. In Psalm 23 it talks about how God prepares a table before us. Randall emphasized how God wants us to partake of the blessings he has made. He does not want us to suffer for no reason. He is our father and wants to see us blessed and happy. Sometimes I get caught up in sacrificing to God for the sake of sacrificing. I don’t believe God wants us to live that way. He simply asks us to follow and receive at His prompting. It was also interesting learning mime techniques. I would have liked more focus on that area, but I found it really neat learning how to imitate fire with our hands ands how to move our arms as water. Dan taught us different ways to move our hands and how to create different actions through pulsing our bodies. I feel like a small child in the world of dance, I am having so much fun. I feel like a child with a new doll to play with.

Practical- One teaching that really felt practical for here in now is Randall thoughts on the contents of art. Art does not have to be religious to have Christian value. God created all things and gives us the ability to create works of art that go outside the boundaries of nature. One way I can see this is in our dances. Our dance is this week was about the four elements; earth, wind, fire, and water. Those things alone are not necessarily Christina topics, but God created them and we can use our dance to represent His creation, and not praise the creation itself, but the creator. This one of the ways we are free to open our art forms instead of having someone play Jesus in all our dances and dramas.

YWAM Value 10- We had a great chance to function I in a team this week. Our speaker gave us homework where we had to create 2 minutes if dance where we reflected and represented “wind.” We had a team of 5 people and about an hour to create. We had some disagreements and varying opinions of what moves to do, but in the end it worked out. We did forget one of our formations, but as team we felt more comfortable creating after the exercise was over. It was challenging when someone had an idea but the other team members did not agree, but we all were humbled and came together in something we were unfamiliar with and that clearly demonstrates YWAM’s value of teamwork.

Personally- I am feeling much better than I did at the beginning of the week. I had a great talk with Faby about some of the things I am processing at the moment. I have noticed a lot of frustration in me lately. I think I am in survival mode so I just want to succeed at the school and I sometimes am not taking the time in prayer before I do things. I want to think more about God in what I do throughout the day, especially in dance. I want to be able to pray and dance at the same time. The more comfortable I get with the movement, the easier it will be to speak and hear from the lord while in motion.

Been a while

2011-02-09T18:41:00.001-08:00

Well a lot has gone on in the past week...

Our Amazing speakers from the Mentor Crew left last week. We all fell in love with them, they were like our parents. They showed us so much about discipline and dance. They were really unique people. Above is Silver and Joyce and myself. I hope God plans for us to reunite on day. I look up to the way they are a married couple serving God with their talents. I think that is the theme of our school. To serve God in the best way you can and to keep training yourself in your talent.

This week we are focusing on more modern dance. It is so different for us all. We are under less physical pressure, but we are learning a lot about God in the arts during our lecture time.

We are also growing in our student responsibilities. Every week we have bible study meetings and performances. So once a week we have to create a piece about what we are learning. We also are creating final projects which are really detailed, along with weekly devotionals and worship session, we have a few book reports and weekly media journals. Needless to say we are hitting the books hard.

Our scriptural principle for this week comes from 1 Corinthians 2;9

9 However, as it is written:

“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”
the things God has prepared for those who love him.

The Lords will is so exciting. I think we sometimes make life harder for ourselves, we take on the martyr mentality, when really God wants to bless us. He prepares a table for us and desires us to eat and be joyful, there is no need to starve. This week is encouraging me to remember God's promise to bless.

Anybody feeling the Spirit?

2011-01-31T13:20:00.000-08:00

As you all know, my school here is very multicultural. We have students from; Madagascar, Korea, Malaysia, China, Germany, America, England, Canada, Mexico, El Salvador, and Guatemala. We have all heard God's call and have stepped out in faith to be here in YWAM for performing arts. Some people were financially stable to come here and others we not.

I was very blessed to have the funds needed to be here. Unfortunately other students did not have the same ease I did in the areas of fiance. Some students have lecture fees, but not outreach fees and vis versa.

We all know and believe that God designed our school for this specific time and season. We all want to be here and are trusting in God to provide the rest. I humbly ask for your prayers. That God would affirm our desire to serve and keep us all here. In a few weeks people that have to paid fully will be asked to leave. I believe this is not God's best for us. After prayer if you are feeling a call to help us then please move. we need around $5,000 to stay together!

If you go to www.ywamsandiegobaja.org...you will see on the bottom right corner a section labeled "donations and payment" from there you choose the "make a contribution" button. You simply follow the instructions listed. Under the section entitled "Your payment is for..." Please pick, "Tuition payment or product purchases" and underneath you can explain the donation is for the IMP School in general concerning outreach and lecture fees.

First pray! Thank you for reading and praying for us it is highly apperciated!

Thank you Lord for Saturday!

2011-01-29T10:44:00.000-08:00

Man I am so tired we have been dancing at least 6 hours everyday. Our teachers are professionals so we are being pushed so hard and it is really paying off. No we are not perfect, but we are giving it our all and I believe God will do great things with us artistically on outreach. Still no word on where we might go...

I have been hearing a lot about listening to God. Hearing the small still voice. I was encouraged to pray and not just speak to God about My future, My problems, My fears, My joys, but to listen and spend more time praying for others and especially the lost. I have not been diligent in praying for people who do not know the Lord. I have been caught up in school work and dance moves that I not taken a minute to remember I am doing this so someone later may see Christ reflected in our work. Do you pray for the Lost? Are you now Lost?

The body is just a vessle for the Spirit

2011-01-25T13:08:00.000-08:00

I have had so much go on in the last few days. Our amazing speaker Mary Jane went back to Tennessee and she is deeply missed. She brought us so much hope about redeeming the arts for Gods glory.

I also found out I have a fungus in my scalp. I feel like God is teaching me a lot about myself as He tends to do when I am in YWAM. Over the past maybe two years I have gone under many physical issues; I was misdiagnosed/healed from a sickness, I had to have surgery on my foot, I had lice for a while without knowing it and because I had it so bad it came back a few times, and now I am itching violently because of a fungus from who knows where…. Along with these physical issues I have always been very critical of my body and how I view my appearance. Those of you closest to me are well aware of my self confidence issues and may I take a moment to apologize because it is such a waste of time. So all this is happening and I have felt clarity about all the illness I have had.

It seems that God has been teaching me, yes it is important to take care of my body but physically I need to be less critical. I need to stop believing the lies that I look fat, old, or that I am too tall… the list goes on. I have struggled so deeply with these lies and I am really seeing how it is disagreeing with God. He created me and he dose not make junk. I have been continually sinning against him by my thoughts attitudes, and the attention I have spent analyzing myself.

I had a leader of mine pray over me last Friday. I was very stressed out about the media work, completing my assignments, working on my art project, balancing a full day schedule, and on top of it having a fungus that may spread. So my leader was praying and I was reminded of a time I prayed on DTS and it was very sincere and real. Basically I had a prayer time and felt that God sees me as a purple flower. That I am God beloved flower in His garden, He looks on me with love and sees the beauty he gave me. Having that memory really tied all this together. I feel He is teaching me to love Him more and in turn love myself more. I am His. I started to feel bad because I have wasted a lot of time and energy on being really hard on myself, but this is not about living in the past it is about changing the future and the Lord is showing me how to be comfortable in my own skin.

On the school side of things are teachers are so amazing we have about 6 hours of dancing a day and we have learned a dance to the Mary Mary song “shackles”. It is really fun dancing for the lord and doing it well. Hopefully I can put a video up soon but I need permission first. Please pray for the team we are all being pushed this week and we are all growing in different ways, the people who don’t dance are a little discouraged, but standing strong.

Again, thank you for reading!

Your Dream!

2011-01-19T16:57:00.000-08:00

We have an amazing speaker with us this week. Her name is Mary Jane Miller and she is speaking on acting and teaching us techniques in pantomime and editing scripts. She is courageous and spoke primarily today on what are dreams in life may be.

We all have a dream whether or not we know now what it is. God is leading us towards it or we have a foundation in knowing the things we love to do, the things we feel created to do, whatever your dream may be I hope you read this and feel encouraged.

we are all unique and along with that we each have a unique dream. Many people have decided not to pursue their dream and say that it is now too late. Let me say this; Never ever is it too late to stop what you are doing and answer the longing in your heart to pursue your passion. Our God is loving, he would not give you a desire and passion to then take it away. Things will never happen instantly. We have to struggle to get where God has placed us, it makes us ready and capable to fulfill His will.

I was so inspired by this today. I don't know if I have a specific dream yet, but I do know this. I love to perform either dance, drama, or music. I love kids of all ages and levels of development. I desire to have a family. I love camp. Now I don't have a specific dream that incorporates all these things, but I will continue to practice and work at these passions. God has given you a passion and a talent. To not practice and fall into the ordinary of this world is dishonoring the giver of your gift. So go back to what you love. I am not saying to abandon your responsibilities. You are where you are now for a reason and God has blessed it, but to be doing what you love, what you were created for, is God's best.

I hope this is making sense. I just know a lot of people who feel stuck or feel like they are not serving God. You can serve God anywhere, but you can also make the choice to follow the passion He has placed in your heart. I hope you are blessed and that you leave the mediocre and choose His Will, the love and talent He put into your heart is there for a reason. If you let it pass by I have good news; It hasn't passed. You can always change, it may not be your original dream, but it will be close. I pray He blesses you and enriches your life with His Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 1;26-29

26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

Christ is our redemption. Do what He has made you to love. The worlds opinion is worthless. God uses the unlikely.

A quick Overview

2011-01-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been a nice weekend. I have officially been in Ensenada a week. God has already blessed my relationships here and at home. I feel a little scrambled but I have a lot I want to share.

I have really been depending on God for patience. Their is a wide variety of cultures mixing here, along with a variety of personalities. Please pray for me in that. I need to relax. But, the families on the base have some adorable Mexican children. I hang out with them whenever I can and I seem to be on the same level of communication as they are. I can speak to the children in Spanish, but I sometimes get stuck when trying to follow the adults. I went on a walk on the beach yesterday and it was so peaceful. It made me really happy to be in a world free of talking just my ipod, the sea, and me. The tide was out so I could walk in a shallow part of the sand. I meet a nice older man walking his dog. We had a short conversation and I believe he is a christian. Our communication lacked a little because I couldn't follow his quick Spanish. But, we parted with a handshake and went about our days. I also saw a lot of families on the beach having picnics of playing in the sand. It was really great. I walked on the beach later that day with my friend Wenji. We had a nice time but we were offered drugs at the end of our walk. we decided it is better to go with more people or earlier in the day.

Our first speaker is teaching on theater. I am very much looking forward to see what skills I have retained from my past experience in this discipline of the arts. We have several projects and weekly assignment and one of them is to create an artistic piece. it can be a dance drama or song. I really am worried because this whole project is about listening to God and I don't know how much is my own influence and not being open to the Lord to show me what to do. This is a hard part in having faith. I have to listen to God and honestly sometimes I don't know if I am hearing from Him or it's me.

Class has begun

2011-01-12T16:38:00.001-08:00

Today we had our first full day! Our schedule is going to be quite packed in in the next three months we will be spending approximately 105 hours in the dance studio! We also have weekly journals, presentations, book reports, and a big final project. I am sure I will have to make up a dance and that is a scary thought. But, I over and over again learn that in my weakness He is strong.

I also feel a lot closer to my fellow students. There are a few people that joke a lot and I cannot tell whether or not they are just that way, or they don't like me. Oh well, I will just keep being nice and pray for a change.

We had a discussion on cross cultural experiences and talked about all the different nations that tell jokes and dislike other countries. It was interesting to hear what stereotypes were sometimes true and false about different countries. I challenge you to be more aware of teasing another place or people group. I know for me I realized it was quite prevalent back home. Jokes about peoples customs, gender, or race are really disrespectful to the Lord and the different nations he has created.

on a lighter note, I have found a great little spot for some dancing and worship time. We have a rooftop with a nice tall railing so I have gone up there a few times to be a lone and get some sunshine. It is actually quite cold here and we are in a shaded area. I am rocking the layers all the time!

We saw a video about the Masters of Beauty Ministry or MBM. This group is our staff for the school here in Mexico they came all the way from Hong Kong to lead the school. My roommate Sandrina also showed me a really cool dance. I am going to post it on my facebook later, if you have time check it out I thought it was really nice.

Town Pictures

2011-01-10T12:01:00.000-08:00

These are some areas of the surrounding 4 to 5 miles we walked this morning. It is really similar to Jamaica which has given me this awesome feeling of being at home in some ways.

Made it!

2011-01-10T08:32:00.000-08:00

Wow ok I have been in Mexico for less than a day and I am already seeing God's Hand. I guess I will back up to the departure...

I went to the airport and said goodbye to my loved ones. I did surprisingly well until it was time to say goodbye to Brooks (My incredible boyfriend). We both knew it would be significantly difficult to say goodbye for 5 months, but nothing could have prepared me. I was hugging him before the security line and I just felt my heart collapse. It was so hard to trust God and turn the corner out of sight.

I spent the first plane ride off and on crying and listening to music brooks had made me from some of our jam sessions and his beautiful solo work. I made it to my next connecting flight with easy, but still accompanied by a few tears as I was able to have one last phone call with Brooks.

I then caught my next flight and was San Diego bound. I, in the window seat and an older gentleman sat beside me. I don't know about you but sometimes I travel alone and just close off into myself. I am not really chatty with people and let my ipod make me unapproachable, but this flight was very different.

About 30 mins into the flight they offer complementary snacks and drinks. I again picked the yummy delta gingersnaps and slowly began eating. A little later the man next to me asked if I wanted anything else, he was offering to pay for my lunch. I kindly said no and went back to the cookies, water, and ipod. While I was slowly chewing and making every bite count the man next to me put a sandwich on my tray. It was certain he wanted to feed me, so I took off the headphones and said thank you. We then shared and meal and the reasons we were headed to San Diego. I explained about YWAM and my final destination being Ensenada, and he told me he was from Boston going to a protein conference because he worked in the drug administration. He told me of some travels he had done, and we talked about the importance of traveling alone. He thought he would be looking forward to the solo trip because he traveled that way in his youth, but now that he had a family it was much more enjoyable with them at his side, expensing the adventure together. I shared his feeling, that conversation was more confirmation that this is my last solo mission experience.

We flew over the Grand Canyon, and made random moments of small talk until parting on our California destination. I wished him a blessed visit and he sent me some good luck and safety. I then walked through the airport and felt the warm sun through the windows! I headed to the baggage claim and picked up my bags.

As I was waiting then man from the plane approached me asking, "Do you need money for your trip?" I replied, “If you would like to give you are welcome. I can give it away." He then handed me 40 dollars. We introduced ourselves and parted ways. What an awesome encounter? So with 40 extra dollars in my pocket I was picked up by one of my leaders Brain and a fellow student named Paul. We spent some time and San Diego and learned more about one another. It is really cool how this school was a dream for them and now it is happening for the first time in Mexico. We picked up another student from China and drove that night to Ensenada; the base in San Diego is more of an office than an actual facility. We arrived really late and I met a few people from my school. I have 4 other roommates and two of them were already here. I know this is bad but one is from Hong Kong and the other Madagascar and I can't remember how to say their names, but its ok I will pick up on it I hope. Until then I have to be really direct about who I am speaking to.

It was really cool this morning because the girl from Madagascar was telling me about how it was so insane to pay for her flight and asking if I wanted to go on a trip to town with her so she can pay a bill and sight see. I have not taken a single picture so we are going later today with one of our leaders. I told her my story about the man on the flight and asked if I could give her the 40 dollars, she said yes and shared a testimony with me.....

She really wanted to be at this school and was really worried about the money to get here, until the Lord spoke to her in a dream. She was dreaming that the Lord Jesus was standing in front of her holding her hand and she could feel His hand and the peace from it. The lord asked her why she feared money, then he showed her a picture of a lion seated in a field with tall grasses blowing in the wind, she felt peace and the next morning decided to answer the call, not fear money, and do everything to make it to Ensenada. She trusted God and I am so glad the man on the plane gave so I could give and she could be encouraged that she did the right thing and know that money doesn’t matter... let me say that again MONEY DOSN'T MATTER.

So yes it has been less than a day, but the lord is working. I plan to post a few pictures from our trip into town today. Thank you for reading and praying.

God Bless

Just a few Days!

2011-01-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

Wow, God has made so much possible for me to go back into Youth With A Mission. I have had a lot of fun and exciting challenges over this past week. It is really hard to leave for a long time when you have such a big group of family and supporters, I didn't get to say goodbye to everyone, but hope they all know how grateful I am. God has blessed me so much that he always keeps me humble. I know the money going with me is not mine, but His, the things we will do don't deserve credit from us, but Him. I am excited for the blessings and growth that will take place in my own heart, and hopeful I may be used to clearly display the gospel in any situation. I want to go to see people accept the Lord, and hopefully become more devoted to Him in my own heart.

the only thing left to do is pack. You know how packing for the beach or a week long trip can be exciting? Well packing for 5 months is Stressful. You never know what exactly you need to wear especially when you have never been to the place your traveling, but again God gave me all the things I needed so I am sure He will pack the same way.

I am unsure if it's because of stress or what, but I seem to be developing a sore throat so if you find some time please pray I am 100% by Sunday I really don't want to travel and be feeling this ill, but I'm sure if I am God will use it for His Glory. thank you again for reading and praying. The next time I blog I will be in San Diego!

He is so Good!

Oh and I wanted to let those reading know about my new mail address! Letters are fun and it is a really cool way to stay in touch!

YWAM San Deigo/Baja
Ashley Guilday - IPM Ensenada
100 West 35th Street, Suite C
National City, CA 91950
USA

Merry Christmas

2010-12-20T07:47:00.000-08:00

God bless in the time of reflection of the saviors birth. It is so very difficult to not get caught up i the gifts of Christmas tradition. Giving is such a joy, but should be done out of the Holy spirits leading, not pressure. I am having no expectations of this holiday except hoping to see a little more Jesus in my life and be with my loved ones.

With about three weeks left in America Christmas is coming at the perfect time. It will be an awesome last visit with family before I head out until June. My biggest prayer is to mental remain where God has me in each moment. The Lord is do good and is always teaching me how time flys. Days so easily become years.

I do want to somehow beging a project surrounding blankets and bibles. i so often see people out in the cold and what better way to hand them God's word than when it is accompanied with warmth. I don't know what this looks like but if you have an extra bible and blanket send it my way I desire to hand some out before I depart on the 9th.

The Cross is the Answer...

Almost There

2010-10-16T16:35:00.000-07:00

So much has happened and so much will continue to happen. I have officially purchased my flight to San Diego and arranged my ride to Ensenada Mexico! I have about three months until I depart. I am really looking forward to going. Last time I was very aware of home. Being away lead to thinking often of the place I grew up and sometimes day dreaming about driving on old country roads near my house in New Market. there was such a novelty in being far off and apart from my familiar atmosphere for that long.
With that being said, I have already prepared to keep my mind where I am. I continually pray not to day dream of the future trip now, and that when I'm gone I will be fully present mentally.

Back Again!

2010-09-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

SO I realized I have not blogged in over a year and so much has happened that it would be impossible to recap... Basically God is still, always, and forever Good.

I have been preparing to leave in January for the Introduction to Performing Arts and Media School with YWAM! I have done two pretty successful yard sales and I am about half way there financially! It has been yet again an overwhelming time of receiving. I can hardly believe I would be lucky, or better yet, blessed enough to be able to go and serve God and His people in this way. I have decided to go to Mexico for my lecture phase and hopefully somewhere in Asia for the perform ace outreach segment.

It is so incredible that even in my sin and doubt He would still be kind enough to take me to another part of this giant world.

In other areas of life, things are also great! I have completed my Associates degree at Frederick Community College and I plan to head of to Towson for special Ed next fall. This year is going to be busy one, but I am so excited to grow and change and become more of who God is calling me to be.

Life is wild.

More uodates to follow!

Here we go!

2009-03-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

I am so very excited I was given the opportunity to speak last Sunday about my YWAM trip. Usually, when i prepare a presentation I practice completely differently than the speech comes out in the end. I will have skipped over a major point or forget to say who I am. There always seems to be some "DUHHH" moment, leading to my embarrassment. But, Sunday was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I trusted God this time. I didn't doubt before I stepped upfront. I knew he had given me a clear message and His power made it eloquent and well constructed. The Holy spirit took control and my own fears were dismissed. I need to start surrendering every moment of life this way. Trust he will do something, be sensitive to the Holy spirits prompting. I really enjoined being able to express His good works, His faithfulness, His Mercy, His Love and all those other qualities He possesses.
It is so exhausting to speak for an hour. When all was said in done I slept for about three hours. I had been so twittery with excitement that I about slipped into a comma afterwords. I imagined for a long time what speaking to my church would look like, but all my expectations were surpassed by His leading. I feel like this experience was the last chapter for my YWAM life, right now, and new things are on the horizon! I've just started my first week back to school. I only have two classes, but the are condensed to 7 week courses. I'm currently looking for a job and a way to raise a little money for a car. I was going to get a car, but it's reliability is less than perfect. I really want to do some mission activities with my church. I think it would be fun to have a, "Skit Saturday" whomever wants to participate can come and we'll learn a few skits and have a practice day. Then, we can go to Baker Park or wherever and perform. This would be a great way to engage people and share the message of Christ. I know a lot of talented people, and this has potential!

Well then, Jesus is Real and Jesus is worthy!

Blessed left and right

2009-03-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

I have been provided for once again. I am soon getting a car (and ready to learn stick shift), I have enough money for school books, and I'm hearing my God more in more. God speaks to me by uniting my circumstances. The same topics, places, and people, keep reentering my life. I know there are some hard things ahead, but I'm ready. I'm letting go of relationships that need to be let go. I'm more comfortable with excepting the fact that some people don't like me, and the fact that some people ask a very great deal of me. My friends are in dark places in life, but God is faithful. They are continuing to seek and find the Lords grace in a time when most people give up. Perseverance is such a gift from the Lord. Lets lie for today, in this time in this moment! God's going to tell us what to do...

Speak Lord.... OK

2009-03-06T09:10:00.001-08:00

woo! I am so excited. God has been speaking and it has been awesome! I just got home from spending a few nights with my friends in Lynchburg VA. I had not gotten to send any quality time with them and my schedule is about to pick up. I was blessed to go there and back by the kindness of others! My friend Davey works for Liberty University and he took me to look at the school! I asked for the Lord to speak to me and he did. I noticed they have a really large tower there and I asked Davey what was in there, he didn't know so we looked around the campus and i went to the Wednesday morning chapel. In the message they talked about how the very tower I just asked about was going to be the new theatre! They had worked out a deal and were able to afford brand new facilities! That's not a big deal if you don't know that I was thinking about going there for a degree in Drama Ministry! Oh cool, that morning they discussed something that directly affected my plans for going there. I was thinking about how I hadn't done much acting in the passed two years. I started to get worried my talents had faded, then the speaker said, "I used to have a speech impediment, but now I make my living speaking, Gods strength is in our weakness." I was blown away. OK Lord you have been speaking to my heart! My plan is to attend Liberty University in Fall 2010. There are no coincidences in the kingdom of God, so here we go. After another year at Fcc I'm planning to apply to LU.

I have been so productive in the last few days! I am steadfast in completing my presentation for my church about my mission trip. There is just too much to tell I'm going to narrow down all the stories i want to share, but i am making copies of a a lot of my material. I may not be able to fit everything in a 1 hour presentation, but I'm going to have the resources available so people can learn much more! I really want my church t naturally send student to do a discipleship Training school with ywam. It is such a great way to get closer to God, work out all you baggage, and discover if mission work is something you could do with your life! I highly recommend it! I feel like people think going out like I did is impossible. It's not! I went because God provided everything and he would do the same for others!

Well, back to the project!
Blessings!

When Jesus saw their faith he said, "Friend your sins are forgiven."
Luke 5; 20

HOT DoG!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Balls Rollin'

2009-02-20T14:55:00.000-08:00

So Ive been preparing to share at my church and visiting old Friends this last week and a half, and today I signed up for some classes at FCC! I'm really happy yet, terrified. My tuition is paid for, but the transportation is still unknown. It's times like these where trusting the Lord can be so difficult. I just have to remember my time is not His, my plans are not always His, but He is going to do what's best for me! It is really exciting and stressful. One minute I'm crying in fear and the next he's answered my prayer in an unthinkable way. An extremely intelligent friend of mine reminded me of the Israelites walking through the parted sea. That must have been such an unexpected answer for an escape plan! How much faith it must have taken to take the first step onto the dry sea floor seeing that all the millions of gallons of water could smash into you from both sides. God is unexplainable and unexpected. I can't wait to see how He parts the sea for me or if he sends a boat, whatever the transportation looks like, It will be for my benefit!

One week Back

2009-02-19T07:52:00.001-08:00

So it has officially been one week since I returned home. It has been an interesting experience. I think I expected people to have changed as much as I have on some levels, but I'm realizing that's not the case. I have to keep reminding myself to be understanding. For the most part I've really enjoyed seeing old faces and visiting others. soon I will be presenting about my adventure to my church and other Christan groups. I'm asking the Lord to show me what needs to be said. I'm trying to be sensitive to the Holy spirits leading.
The future looks so endless right now. I am currently working on getting a vehicle and a job. I really want to continue working with children, but not in the position of a personal nanny. Tomorrow I'm going to Frederick community college to try and get in asap. The long I'm not in school, the harder it will be for me to go back. I really want to keep my schedule simple and active. I don't think I'm going to stretch myself as thin as I was before I left. My first focus is the car, work, school situation and the other plans will fall into place.
I'm having a really hard time being at home. It's really nice having alone time, but it;s getting old quickly. I'm trying to keep myself busy with preparing to speak at my church, and sending out my final newsletter. There is so much on the horizon and once again I'm lacking patients. I had some amazing one on one time with the Lord and I know he'll keep me productive. I need to appreciate this time of rest and delight in the stillness He's given me.

1 Peter 4; 19

I'm trying to have a memory verse each week!

Bye Ja

2009-02-11T22:04:00.001-08:00

Well, I have some time to kill while waiting for my flight in the Montego Bay airport…

WOW….
It’s over…
My friends are home…
My school is finished…
My plane is getting ready….
My future is limitless…
My heart is full…

I am so very happy to have successful completed my Discipleship Training school. I am so excited to see what’s next. These are some ideas I’ve had. I’m in the process of seeking confirmation from the Lord.

-Serving my church (in whatever means available)
-Joining a small group
-Evangelical trips into Frederick
-Community College
-School of Performing Arts (Belize/India 2010)
-Staffing a youth camp in Jamaica this summer
-Taking a dance class
-6 week leadership school in Australia (2009)

These are just a small fraction of the millions of ideas and activities floating around in my head! Above all these I will be spending more time in the presence of the Lord/realizing I’m in His presence. The best part about all these desires is that I’m not doing anything until I hear fully and completely from God. By surrendering all these things and hearing from God, I can ONLY do His will. Though I may want to reach the World, God may have different plans. I’m ok with doing His plan because it’s so much better for Him and for me. I know His protection and guidance will give me the grace to respond in obedience.

The Debriefing Week

2009-02-05T17:44:00.000-08:00

Well, everyone has arrived safely back in Jamaica from outreach. Our team is here from Guadeloupe, my other classmates made it safely from Antigua, and the School of Performing Arts just got back from Belize. This week has basically been a long, but helpful series of meetings. We’ve been practicing how to write a news letter, learning about other YWAM schools and opportunities, figuring out how to reenter our home life, and recapping outreach.
We have all been really emotional and blessed in this time. Coming back to Jamaica was so nice. It has become a second home for us all. The new DTS students are here and we’ve been having a wonderful time making them feel welcome and familiar with life on the base. I’m so excited to keep in touch with them and hear how God will grow them. They all seem very dedicated and mature.
My team met with the directors of the base and our outreach leaders. We were able to express our encouragement and constructive criticisms about the leadership during our time in Gwada. I was able to honestly express my concerns. I’m so happy I didn’t hold back, that God gave me the boldness to speak truth. We talked about when our other team member left and the affect it had on us all. We were really stretched emotionally on outreach. We had extended forgiveness to our team member and attempted to make him feel included, but we faced many hardships. This individual really caused the team to suffer. He did not accept our attempts towards him. He distanced himself from the team and became very inactive. We shared all this with our leader and he understood that by keeping this person as long as he did, he was not doing what was best for the team. Even though he could have left sooner, we were all pushed emotionally unlike never before. I’m glad my outreach was hard. I will carry this life lesson with me as I continue working with others in a team setting.
We had a lecture about coming home and realizing that a church and a mission base function differently. I was afraid of being over critical, but my questions were answered and I have some great tips on getting involved and serving again in my home church. I am excited for home and I’m trying to soak in the Caribbean while I still can. We have begun preparing for graduation and tomorrow we will have our final assessments. Our assessments are an overview of how the base staff feels we succeeded and struggled during our time in DTS. I’m looking forward to this time. I know I’ve come a long way and I still have a long way to go, that’s the beauty in following Christ, we are never done learning, lives are spent becoming more and more like the Lord and getting closer and closer to him.
Last night we had our community meeting this is were the base meets together and hears from that week’s speaker or someone of the base. It’s a fun night because those that home school or travel throughout the day can meet with the rest of the schools. All of YWAM Mo Bay comes together. We were privileged to share about outreach and hear from the other teams. My team shared our skit, gave a testimony about our prison ministry, sang a song we learned in French, and made a slide show highlighting our ministry in the nation. We had such a great time and the group was really receptive to our stories and struggles. It was fun for us to share. Sandra led the opening in French and I translated into English, just to give the crowd an understanding of how we had to communicate in the nation. It was so cool to hear what God did in and through the teams in Antigua and Belize.
Have an amazing day, week, and forever. I can’t wait to see what’s next and trust God completely for His leading and direction. Lose your life in Him, So that you can find it!

Oh, I forgot! We came back from outreach one day early so we went into the city in Montego Bay and performed our mimes. We had a large crowd people clapped when we were finished. It was so scary at first, but God is good he gave us the strength and courage to creativly minister to the town. After we let go of our fear. We didn't care about what people thought we were performng to the Lord and asking Him to toch lives. It's never us its always Him.

2009-01-25T13:10:00.000-08:00

So, one of my team mates has be struggling a lot on our outreach. He has committed many offenses and has had a lot of chances to change his attitude, but the same choices keep being made. So in his best interest he is going home tomorrow. We only have 3 days left here, but that’s not the point, if someone’s not ready their simply not ready. We are all doing ok. He is not bitter or angry about leaving, so praise God. I think he’s realizing that by leaving he’s being honest and open. He knows this is not his time, and he can always do another DTS. I think this is the best thing for him. I’m so happy that he wants to continue serving the Lord and be a witness to Gods Goodness! This is however hard on our team. He is apart of us all and we will miss him. Sometimes God timing doesn’t makes sense to us that’s why it’s His timing, we can’t possibly understand.

We've also had really serious news from our leaders. They're family has suffered a loss. Please pray for patients. This is devastating for us all. We will continue to support them and surround them with Love. We will keep praising God! It has been quite an intense day.

We lead a church service this morning and it was great. In the midst of all this pain, we still brought the Word, and had some great conversation and fellowship with the congregation. This church is in the "house" or "pioneer" phase. They meet in different homes every week and then have a long and relaxed lunch. We started the service with a skit and we talked about 1 Corinthians 12; 14-31 and how we are all given different talents to work as a part of the body of Christ. I shared a testimony about our team and how each one of our responsibilities on outreach fits us perfectly. We asked people to write down their talents and give them back to God. If they dance, dance for Him. If they love math, calculate for His glory. If they can build, build something and give Him the due credit. I think it went really well, it was nice to get off the base again and see a little more of God in this nation.

This world has nothing for me, I will Follow YOU (Jesus)

Perfect Plans

2009-01-24T16:21:00.000-08:00

Wow! God surpassed all of our expectations for this weekend. Last night was our biggest youth group meeting thus far. We had at least thirty people come. I was very nervous but God gave me peace, we had a great time eating, playing, games, and bringing the message. I gave my first teaching, yeah there were plenty of mistakes, but I can’t believe God gave me the grace to finish. I can’t wait for next time. We had a great night.

And… this morning we were able to go to the prison! I was very nervous but the men there were maybe some of the nicest people we’ve encountered here on the Island. They were so polite and receptive to the message. We did a skit called, “Empty Heart” its about a girl filling the void with earthly pleasures and just before she ends her unfulfilling life, she choose to follow the Lord. I play the girl and my friends are all the different earthly desires. I cry every time we perform. Then Josiah gave a testimony about a time he almost committed suicide. Finally our leader shared about God being our father. He focused on how earthly fathers may have failed us, but our heavenly father is perfect. Everything went really smoothly. After we finished a young man came up to us. He told us our message was his life story. He has three children; he had scars of his many attempted suicides. I know we were sent there for this young man. Before he spoke to us I could tell there was something different about him. He was a very genuine and kind. I can only imagine what else God did through us for those who were too shy to share. I was so blessed and joyful being around these people.

We thought this weekend would be a bunch of cancelations, but instead God answered our prayers and allowed us to share His affective message to these people. Once again I’m made speechless by the Almighty! Send up some praise, for He is Good!

Our Father in Heaven,
Hallowed be your name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us of our debts,
As we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
In Jesus Name, Amen

The Strike "Strikes" Back.

2009-01-22T16:15:00.000-08:00

The first week we arrived here in Guadeloupe there was a nation wide strike. The people of Guadeloupe are upset with how expensive it is to live here. Various companies all shut down. We couldn’t get gasoline, the food stores were closed, along with electricity, and water in some places. This lasted about four days. The government finally lowered the price of gas and the nation started back up again. This didn’t really affect us. We were still settling and just getting to know our surrounding area. But, now we are in the middle of yet another strike. The prices of gas have slowly risen again and people are angry. There have been reports of people burning cars and vandalizing stores throughout the Island. This began on Tuesday. We were expecting it to last two days, but that’s not the case. This morning we walked to a small bakery to get breakfast and we saw the police at the gas station allowing select cars to use the pumps. We all thought it was over, we were rejoicing because we fasted and prayed for an end. Unfortunately, are assumptions were wrong. Instead of the strike ending it is now escalating. The only people allowed to get gas were nurses, doctors, police, and fire fighters. The airport has been shut down and the people continue to withhold until there is a change. We are very concerned. By Gods grace we still have power and running water. Our hotel has a generator and runs off of a spring.
We had several ministry opportunities planned this weekend; Running a 2 youth meetings, leading a church, and visiting a prison. All of these have, as of right now, been canceled. I have everything I’m teaching on prepared and we’ve practice very diligently. We know God is trying to teach us. I think there has been a lot of times were we felt ineffective, but right now were at a low. Our desire is to serve this nation. Please pray for our continued safety. Ask for an end to this strike. We have enough gas to make it to the airport next Wednesday so pray that the airlines are running again. We are seeking God. He knew this would happen, we trust His will is going to be accomplished. We just have no idea what that looks like.

My Friends

2009-01-19T11:22:00.000-08:00

God has blessed me with my team and my home. I have been so inspired lately and so humbled. I was letting y own pride and judgments get in the way of my work her. I was so angry with people here. People were skipping out on work, everyone had a negative attitude and I was judging with harsh reactions. I basically wasn’t here for a whole day. I turned out everything. After doing this I realized, once again, that its not about me. It doesn’t matter how tired or bored I am, God has given me the grace and patients to work here. I confessed my anger to the team I told them I was furious, and I apologized for my critical self righteous behavior; it’s so easy to fall into sin. I’m so happy that God keeps working on me and everyday I learn something new about myself. My team was forgiving and they helped me stop believing the lies I was hearing. I felt like my work here was useless. I have not seen a lot come from our work here. My friend Sandra told me that this may be God protecting us from becoming prideful. I was already struggling with pride the last thing I needed was something else to boast about. I know my work here is increasing Gods kingdom. So many loved ones wrote me about my feelings and helped me get out of my cycle of self pity! Hallelujah He must become greater and I must become less. Lord, shrink me; give me the patients and joy that comes from doing your work. I spent the evening praying and consoling my friends, we are learning what it means to be open and honest. Staying in the Light is the never-ending theme of outreach! It’s really hard to be open but the blessings that follow are so worth it. I can’t wait to see what else happens in this next week.

Today we are presenting at a church. I think it’s so crazy that these churches invite us to preach. They don’t know us, they are not even that familiar with YWAM, but God has given us favor here and we present almost every Sunday. I’m doing a dance, I’m nervous, but it doesn’t matter. I’m only dancing for the Lord and leaving all preconceived judgments about my abilities behind. He will give me the moves. He will give me the courage. Why wouldn’t I be able to express a part of the any blessings he poured over my life? I’m getting a little crazy. The Lord is removing so much timidity in my soul. I want to have discernment while representing Him.

I’m blessed by those who include the creator in our friendship. Thanks.

Psalm 62; 8

Blah...

2009-01-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

.I'm told that everyone on DTS feels like this at least one time, so I guess its my time. I feel so unproductive. I know I'm being productive, but I don't know why I feel the opposite. I think I'm ready for the next phase of life. I have so many ideas and interests for the future that I'm done with the present. I know God doesn’t want me to lose my passion for this time, but I'm having trouble being energized and diligent. I also feel burnt out. We’ve been really active and I don't understand my behavior sometimes. One minute I shedding tears of joy, I feel like my chest will rip in half and my heart will fall out because Jesus Loves me so much and has blessed me beyond what my own body can control. Other times, I’m so annoyed with people and prideful that I snap at my team. I get so feed up being around people 24/7 I become a total jerk. Then, because I'm being such a jerk I question whether or not my worship was heartfelt. I'm confused and I know confusion is not from the Lord. I have so many different things flying through my head all the time. I'm really devoted and a million miles away from my work at the same time. So there, my stuff, it’s out there. I'm not crying out, just pondering in. "I despise my own behavior" I’m so happy DC Talk was brave enough to say it I don't know if I would have been.

Im 20!

2009-01-09T11:52:00.001-08:00

It was been such a nice Birthday! My friends blessed me in such creative ways. I woke up to the Happy Birthday song and had breakfast with my two friends Tam and Sandra. I got a chocolate mix and a box of oat Cereal! I love Oats now, before I was never into healthy cereals, it was always frosted flakes, but now I want raisins and no sugar. After breakfast we spent time praying for the YWAM Caribbean region. Later, we planned out our youth meeting that we’re hosting tomorrow night. At lunch my friends made me a fancy place setting full of flowers and a happy birthday apple. I know some people are not familiar with the happy birthday apple so I’ll explain…basically it’s an apple with a party hat and a smile! In the afternoon our team volunteered some manual labor at a local mans house. His name was Mark, and he is by far the most peculiar man I have ever encountered. He Loves Jesus and Worship, but he seems to have some disabilities when it comes to social etiquette. Then the girls took me out for veggie pizza and ice cream. I had such a fun day. God blessed me with little trinkets and tokens of Love throughout the day! I got on facebook and was almost afraid at all the birthday comments, it was overwhelming. I’m so grateful for the well wishing that took place.

In other news, Outreach is officially half way to an end. As the next few weeks come to a close I will have to start thinking about home life and readjusting to the life I left. I really feel God calling me into consling, which was never an idea in my mind, but I’m continually affirmed in it. I also have such a passion for theatre. Who knows? Well, God does and I’m cool with that. I am really excited for the cold weather. I really love wearing mittens and hats.

My Team is doing well, we are still having issues with one student, the problem is not entirely his sin it’s the fact that there has been some lying and deceiving happening. We have really been trying to be open and up front with one another. This concept has been really hard for me in the past. I don’t open up when I should and I say too much other times. I guess all believers, Christians, followers of Jesus (I don’t have a term to classify people that are trying to live this way) struggle in this area. I know I’ve matured in some ways, but I tend to allow a fear of man to hold me back. I also think when I’m around people that challenge what I say, it makes me more thoughtful about my opinions…ok I’ve gone off on a bunny trail, we are trying to live in the “light” and be/remain there. We’ve been listening to that DC Talk classic a lot. Pray, and I’ll pray for those reading, that we stay shining, there is so much freedom that comes with honesty and openness.

I’m really happy because I’ve been keeping up with my daily time with the Lord for this entire year! It sounds like such an accomplishment, and yet its only been 8 days. I’m still proud of myself and I hope I can keep it up. It so important to be refreshed by the scripture, I was listening to a speaker named Francis Chan. He gave an excellent lecture on truly wanting to know Gods will for our lives, without hesitating or being fearful. Sometimes we say we want Gods will because we know it’s the correct answer, but do we really want to know what He would ask us to; give up, change, leave behind, and accept if we sincerely wanted to live the way our Lord intended us to? This challenged me in so many ways. I want to be so sold out for God that I leave it all, and add whatever He Wills.

Crazy Week

2009-01-06T12:07:00.000-08:00

It’s been crazy. On Saturday we went to a local Radio station and shared about YWAM. We were all interviewed and gave short testimonies about how we were brought to
Guadeloupe. Our show was only supposed to be a 30 minute segment but it lasted for an hour and a half! I think we did a great job of answering questions and representing the Kingdom! We even sang a few songs. I think the station is making us a copy of the show, which will be cool to hear. It’s so weird to hear your voice recorded, I sound so much cooler in my own mind then on recordings.

Later tonight we are going out again to feed people. We’ve prepared 30 salami and cheese sandwiches with; juice, cookies, candy, and a banana. We wanted to give a modest amount of food, while still filling stomachs. I think some of the people in the city are starting to recognize us. More and more people ask us about what were doing every time we go out.

We had to do and inductive bible study this week. We had to pick a chapter from one of the four gospels and present it to the team. We had to find a key word, verse, and paragraph. We also had to identify literal and figurative language, ask any questions we had about the chapter, show how we can apply what we learned to our lives, and present a creative expression. I loved dong this. I read all these commentaries and gained so much from this assignment. I’m' sharing on Matthew 15. I created a rap and I'm doing a dance to a Josh Garrels song (big surprise) it is so funny that I'm dancing. I don't think I would have ever done it before, but throughout my dts I've been worshiping more and more through this creative form. I'm a dork, but I know the Lord likes it!

Tomorrow we are going to pray and see where God leads us for the day. I really enjoy doing this; it reminds me of the "special opps" team I was in during my churches annual mission trip last year. We just get in the car and find ways to bless.

I can't believe I'll be 20 in two days. It seems so weird. I don't think 20 is old. I just never imagined I'd be celebrating in Gwada (that’s slang for Guadeloupe).

Yesterday I was able to have some alone time with the Lord. It’s hard to sit and think in silence around here. I enjoy living in community, but the quiet is so good for my soul. I appreciate it so much more now that its such a rare thing in my lie.

Well I think I'm going to go on a walk. Please pray that I stop thinking about home. I'll be there soon enough. I've been having dreams that I'm back, it’s nice, but I need to be Here Now.

Jeremiah 29; 11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"

Praise The Lord

2008-12-31T17:50:00.001-08:00

Well, so munch has gone on so I guess I’ll start wherever I want. This is my blog so if I don't follow perfect chronological order, that’s just how it is.

One of my team members is battling with temptation. He has been struggling for quite a while and he publicly confessed last week. We are all praying that God would show us the next steps to take, whether he stays and receives counseling from our leader, or he goes back to Montego Bay to complete his outreach and get some counseling by the leaders there. This is a very delicate situation, which is why specific details are not important. Please be praying. We are all confident that this will be handled in the appropriate way.

Today we spent the morning praying and asking God what we should do for ministry in the evening. Another student and I both shared Matthew 10; 7-8, "As you go, preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, and cleanse those who have leprosy, [b] drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give." So we then decided to go into the city. We then came up with the idea of handing out candies with Jeremiah 29;11, which says," For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. We really are having a hard time coming up with ministry that doesn’t have to do with talking because only one person knows enough French to testify, so we've been spending a lot of time giving. I'm really enjoying this. So many people gave for me to be able to come here and give to Guadeloupe. It rings true when the scripture says, “freely you have received, freely give" I'm blessed to follow this. It is wonderful to make someone smile. Not only are we sharing the Word and giving, we are being blessed. It proves to me that God wants to see us happy. We are filled with Joy when others are provided for, so how happy does that make the Lord? I would guess very happy indeed! While we were out I gave a girl in a bright yellow shirt a candy. About an hour after we handed all the Candy out she appreciated us. She really liked what we were doing she had been interested in Christianity and just recently started reading her bible. Luckily Sandra was there and they had a 20 minute conversation. It turns out that they both have a lot in common and this young woman wants to spend time with us and ask questions. This is a great picture of discipling. We can't wait to share and her from her. Her mane is Serena. We were very blessed God encouraged us this way.

Tonight we are worshiping this year into the next. My friends and I are coming up with a New Years (Weekly) resolution book. We are thinking about 52 unique ways to bless others once a week for 2009 we will do something nice.

I'm feeling restless here. I know things are being done, but I want to do more. I'm getting caught up in activities and planning instead of resting in the Lord, which I understand to be another term for trusting Him. I know outreach is not about doing what we think is actually work, but doing the work the Lord shows us. My passion is to see people disciple, to see people saved. I need patients.

I think Mediating is a way God wants to use me in my family. I have several relatives that are not getting along with each other. Deep and powerful relationships have now become dead. I was up last night crying for the disunity between them. I asked God to use me in this situation not from a humanitarian viewpoint, but out of His desire for peace among my family. I don’t know if this is something I might be called to do for the rest of my life, but my heart breaks for my loved ones on God’s behalf. I know great things could be done through my unique and exciting family, on both my mother’s and father’s sides of the family. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I get home. I’m going to continue asking the Lord what to do, but something is going to happen. His peace will be experienced.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-26T15:44:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

The last week has been more productive for my team and I. We spent a few days rapping journals with verses in them and delivering them to the director’s neighborhood. We gave away book marks that had scripture and information about the house church that the base runs. We pray that people would contact Samuel (the director) and that the books would be a blessing and the scripture in the books would change people and help us gain understanding of God. Its really fun giving things away! On Christmas eve we went to the mall (which was crazy) and handed out chocolate with Luke 2; 13-14 Fear not, for I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a savior, which is Christ the Lord. Then on Christmas Eve we received a huge blessing… Two weeks ago my team lead a church service and while we were mingling with people afterward, my friend Tam mentioned to one man that she really loved pineapple. So on Christmas Eve this nice man had no one to spend the Holiday with, so he came over with five large pineapples and a Christmas ham. We were going to have cold pizza, but he blessed us with a feast and we blessed him with fellowship. It was so kind and thoughtful. I don’t know why he and Tam were discussing pineapple two weeks earlier, but God used it to bless. I was so privileged to encourage this man and to give him company. After we ate, we decorated our meeting room and made a lovely Christmas setting we had a giant palm Christmas tree and fun balloons and posters. We made a Christmas living room in about 20 minutes; we read part of the Christmas story, and shared songs. We really like singing in a round so we sang “God rest ye merry Gentlemen” in two groups and it didn’t sound that bad! Later we exchanged favorite Christmas memories. One of my favorite Christmas memories was when my brother and I got a huge Trampoline and my dad set in up on Christmas morning in the snow so we could jump on it that day. He was really sick with a high fever and he still went out, for hours, and built it for us. I also loved the Christmas Eve dinners at Grandma Ethel’s old house. All of my family would be there eating and exchanging gifts. My brother and I would wear our matching pajamas and spend time with the family. It was always so loud and busy and right after we ate we all were itching to run down stairs and start opening gifts. It was such an exciting night. I also love when my mom would bake cookies with us all day, we’d set up the tree and dance to Christmas music1 My friends shared some of there Christmas bests and then we headed off to bed.
The next morning we cooked a large breakfast, sang songs, and finished the Christmas story! We opened our secret Santa gifts and prayed together! It really felt like Christmas. Even though I was sweating to death and sun burnt, the Christmas/Holy spirit was upon us. Later we had an interpretive dance party. Tam and I danced to; “Have a holy Jolly Christmas” we did pretty well. Its on video, maybe I’ll be brave enough to post it on facebook… We cleaned and packed thirty dinners. Later in the evening we went into the city and handed out the meals to the homeless. I had been feeling sad about missing Christmas at home, but when we were serving food I was overwhelmed with Gods peace. I knew I was where he wanted me and I was so happy to be there. We talked and prayed with a few men and just gave food. While we were driving we practically threw a sandwich at guy standing on a corner, he took the meal and smiled. Making someone smile does something crazy in my heart, mind, and spirit. I was crying because this man was blessed, how much happier did that make God? Not only was that man blessed by the meal, I was also. God loves to see us Joyful and we experience true joy when we bring it to others. I was so blessed to celebrate Christmas in this way and I want giving like this to be a tradition for Christmas, and more of a daily practice. We may not speak the language, but people are smiling in Guadeloupe because of Jesus.

As I was thinking about giving, and it made me remember all the times I was given to; my car, my trip, my friendships, my mentors, my church… All those who have supported me, prayed for me, and loved me are receiving the blessing of this ministry. I’m seeing people fed and giving because people gave to me. Jesus gave up his rights and his life so that I could be given freedom. I’m so blessed and so humbled. Thank you to those behind me, enjoy the fruits of this labor, God wants to bless you!!!

I’m not sure when I will be able to have internet access again. Someone on my team is really struggling and because of that my team will be taking a break from ministry and because of this particular struggle we are no longer allowed internet, until the issues is brought forward. We can all get online together but the time is limited. Please pray that God would convict people and our team would be able to move on from this. I can not disclose anymore information, but trust that this problem is serious and is having a strong affect on my team. We are all seeking and waiting. Thank you for your prayers.

So much going on

2008-12-15T18:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was our first day off on outreach. It was so nice to spend some time resting and tanning at the beach. The safe beaches are free here, which is great compared to Jamaica, where you have to pay three dollars. We could swim without having to keep one eye on our bags the whole time. I really love this nation is so safe and welcoming. I do love Jamaica, but I can’t deny how stress free my public experiences are in Guadeloupe.

On Sunday our team lead a church service our topic was, “Guarding the Heart” We talked about how the words that come out of your mouth are actually in your heart. We lead worship, organized the offering and performed a mime about giving away your heart to Jesus is the Best thing you can do. The service was overall ok, but we had never done anything like that before so it was not as smooth as we would have liked it to be. We did mix things up a bit we had people sit in a circle and interact with one another. I’m really starting to dislike the idea of rows it’s not very exciting and where in the bible does it say we have to sit like that? Why not face each other? Learn together? Instead of star at the back of somebody’s head.

I can’t believe it’s only Ten days until Christmas. My team is doing secret Santa, which I’m not crazy about, but I did pick Ezra. He’s only one so it won’t be hard to please him. I think I’ll take him on a walk and buy him some candy. I’m really blessed by the way my team is getting along. I had quite a lot of apprehensions about this trip and so far it’s been smooth sailing (I hate clichés, but whatever it’s all I’ve got right now). I am sorry to say that one of the students from the team in Antigua is going home, and will not be graduating form DTS. We received an email this morning saying that our classmate had too angry outbursts during his first week of outreach. I wasn’t surprised because he had issues with anger and the leaders throughout our lecture phase, but I was disappointed that both the leaders and he came to the conclusion he needed to go home. My DTS will not be the same when we all meet up. Its such a shame that the issues couldn’t be worked out and that he will not graduate nor receive credit for his work thus far. Please pray for the team in Antigua and the young man leaving. He will be missed, I really wanted him to complete this, he has so much to offer the Lord, but he has so much to deal with. Pray that even though he’s not still apart of Y.W.A.M he would still grow and leave the things of this world behind…actually we should pray that over ourselves and everyone we know. Lord You must increase we must Decrease.

On Friday our team went to a cliff on the end of the island. I have never been to such an incredible site before. We spent the afternoon praying for the nation of Guadeloupe and worshiping. The beauty and peace over this nation is undeniable. How could it not be the Lords Island? I have such overwhelming confidence God is and will do great things here through us. I have no idea what this week looks like except, tomorrow I’m leading worship and running a ministry prep meeting. I can’t believe I didn’t take French in High school, but its okay, Jesus will figure it out. Praise Him… He’s Worthy

We Made it To Guadeloupe!

2008-12-11T16:04:00.000-08:00

This week has been so busy and exciting. My last week of class was focused on spiritual warfare and relationships. I spent some time with the other team on Friday night, just as a small farewell until graduation. The whole team spent Saturday packing and relaxing. Tam was baptized in the pool. It was so cool to be apart of the experience I helped her research being baptized because she wanted to be, but she didn’t really understand the concept. We looked up some scriptures and prayed about it. She decided she wanted to express the physical representation of how she believed in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ and how he’s changed her life. It was so touching to be apart of her experience and support her. The school of the performing arts doesn’t leave for another two weeks for their outreach so on Saturday they cooked us a lovely meal to send us off.

We said our goodbyes and headed off for the Kingston airport on Sunday morning. We got to see so much of the island; the ocean, rivers, fields; it was incredible how much of Jamaica we hadn’t seen until then. The Kingston airport was really big and I had a frappicinno for the first time in three months, which was truly comforting. Our whole DTS flew to Antigua and spent the night there. On Monday we saw the downtown area and got really close to a curse ship. In Mo bay we just see the ships from afar; I had no idea how gigantic they actually are. It’s like a city on the water. Antigua’s culture was very calm. It was a lot less aggressive than being in public in Mo Bay. People didn’t hassle us for a cab ride they only asked once then left us alone. I saw a building called, “The Patrick A Michael Building.” How crazy is it that a random small island my brothers first and middle names were on a building. It reminded me of just how much I miss him.

Our team said goodbye to the other students and left for the airport. It was so hard to go through yet another farewell. Well, actually it wasn’t that hard I think I was ready to leave them and get outreach rollin’. I will really miss Larissa she’s my DTS B.F.F, for sure. I laugh so much with her and we always get yelled at. I am sorry were not on the same team, but I’m going to visit her in Canada later so it’s all good. We flew out of Antigua had a connecting flight in Dominica and then landed in Guadeloupe at around 7:30. The leader of the base here is Samuel which in French is pronounced “Sam-Well” he’s our tour guide/director here. We made it to the base in about 45 minutes from the airport. It was so weird to drive here because in Jamaica the steering wheel is on the right so I’ve gotten really used to driving on the opposite side of the road, but in Guadeloupe they drive the same way as North Americans so I felt a little more at home. The Y.W.A.M. team here is still in the pioneer stage, they don’t have there own base yet so they rent bungalows from a hotel here. It’s like a tiny paradise get away. I had my first hot shower in 3 months yesterday. Praise Jesus!!! I actually felt squeaky clean! Meaghan prayed I would get a hot shower about a month ago and God answered. It’s funny because all the girls have hot water but the boy rooms are still icy cold like in Jamaica. Thank you Lord!

We’ve been somewhat stuck on our base and limited to what ministry work we can do here because Guadeloupe is in the middle of a large oil strike. When we arrived in the airport we saw a bunch of baggage carts that had been destroyed and were blocking the bus park entrance. This happened during a riot, we’ve been asked to remain close to the base until the strike ends. Samuel traveled home the other evening and got stuck there because the roads we closed due to the rioting. It’s just safer to shut down for a week than try and risk getting caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. Please pray for peace and a safe and speedy journey for Samuel. We can’t do a lot of our ministry because of this situation. I think my team is feeling a little useless and stranded. I know God has a purpose for us and we are trying to enjoy the rest and down time God has given us. I was able to take two hour naps two days in a row. I’m thankful for the rest, but I’m ready to see the nation and experience the culture.

We have done a couple things so far. We have been helping maintain the base with yard work and cleaning. We are helping the DTS with work duties. This base is only 20 people including us so we don’t mind doing dishes, it’s so much easier than washing after 60 people like back in Mo Bay. We are also helping with a youth night the team is hosting here. The theme is Hope. Some of us are learning worship songs in French, I’m helping decorate and Tam is giving a devotional. The staff and students are very helpful and kind here. They are really enjoying seeing new people and making new friends. There are so many different languages spoken and interpreted on this base. Some people from Guadeloupe can only speak the French Creole and some English. There are many people from Switzerland who know French and English. There’s a girl from Finland who knows French and English I’m learning the most random parts of different languages. Learning Spanish in high school has really hindered me from reading French I can’t seem to grasp the pronunciation and grammar, I am however realizing I retained a lot of Spanish, so now I want to go to South America, just one more thing on my list of places to go and serve.

This Sunday our team is leading the service at Samuel’s house church. We are doing worship, a message, and performing a drama. It’s crazy that I’m running the service. In outreach everyone has specific rolls. Tam is the accountant she handles our budget and spending. Sandra is in charge of intercession she looks through our notes and creates categories of what God has been speaking to us. Josiah is in charge of Worship (music and creative) Xavier is our meal guy, He makes sure we’re feed and finds cheap places for us to eat when we’re on the road. I am the ministry prep lady. I run all the meetings to prepare us for the upcoming events. I make sure we practice our skits and organize our programs. Our team has been working really well together. We planned a whole Church service in about 25 minutes! It’s been great! Only 8 weeks until I’m home…wow I can’t believe it.
Psalm 145

Busy Time

2008-12-04T18:15:00.000-08:00

Wow. I cannot believe that my classroom phase is over. I can't believe I'm leaving more than half of my team for 8 weeks. This next month in a half is going to fly by. We are all so excited. My job on outreach is to head up out ministry prep time. Our group meets twice a week to practice and create skits and its my job to facilitate this time. I get to organize all our performances and direct most of them. I also get to be the first aid lady for the first couple weeks. I'm really happy because my team is traveling together and we get to spend the night in Antigua with the other team. This is going to be our last sleepover/goodbye party! Please pray for my friend Xavier he is tying to get a visa for the trip and he may join us two weeks later. He's having some major difficulties trying to get into Guadeloupe. we know Gods going to work it out, but we have prayer so we can make a change. We would really love for him to be with us when we leave Sunday, so pray hes going! God is so much bigger than this and we know it's possible. I'm starting to pack and feeling like I'm going home. I think its because Christmas is approaching and i expect to be with family. I will be with family, just in a different form. I'm happy to pend this time with them, I'm going to have a totally unexpected and unique Christmas. I'm going to be refreshed and blessed by my team. We've been trying to learn Christmas songs in French. I found this extra hard because I learned Spanish for three semesters and the two are very different.My team keeps calling me Spanish lady because I put on a thick accent when trying to speak French. I know I'll get better, and I know people there will laugh at me, but its ll good I'm 90% sure we get a translator! I also found out we're doing prison ministry. I think this will be a fun challenge, even though I can't speak the language Gods going to do good things.

I had a review this week and my leaders assessed my performance ad growth thus far in DTS, good news... I passed the lecture phase and they feel I'm prepared for outreach. I've also been asked to join staff. I'm taking this into deep consideration. I really wan to go to college and take the school of performing arts, so with all these options please pray for direction and inspiration. I can't wait to see what God does on Outreach and after DTS!!!!

We have been learning about spiritual Warfare and so many of my questions were answered. We are all constantly in warfare. We are either acting in God's Kingdom or we are serving the World. Today I prayed that the spirit of passivity would be removed from myself and my family. I feel like I'm just going through the motions sometimes. I need to be aware and ask myself about what I'm feeling and why I'm treating others the way I do. We also talked about how we can never be Holier than we are once we are saved. yes, we grow in our Knowledge of God, but he doesn't increase our Holiness. You and the person who was saved ten minutes ago are the same amount of Holiness to the Lord. We can be more Holy than the bible or anyone else severing the kingdom. I've realized that I put pressure on things that I think will make me more holy. I have to read my quiet time, I have to read the bible, I have to pray... I should want to do these things and they should happen naturally. I should be eager to hear and learn what God's inheritance is for me.I've fallen into legalism and make myself feel guilty. I've got to change my expectations and trust more. I'm being made new each day and I'm learning so much, I can't believe how different my life is and how different it will be when i get home. I wait with Joy to see home again, and I'm peaceful and ready to serve Him Here and Now.

Live dear friend

2008-11-30T11:29:00.000-08:00

This is where I Want Him to Be.

All of Us Americans gathered for a warm and wonderful Thnakgiving!

What a fantastic week!? Hear are some of my lecture topics…

We can only Show God to the extent that we Know Him

Isa 58; 6-11… The Lords fasting is to break the bondage of the needy. Our fasting should be for others benefit.

We can choose to Live by the truth that comes from God, or by the lies of the enemy

Romans 8; 14… He loved us so much that He sent His son to the cross so we could become is adopted children

If every Christian family adopted one child, there would no longer be orphans

Are words are powerful. God spoke the earth into creation. We have to be careful what things we speak over ourselves and others.

Salvation is free, following Him will cost you everything, but the blessings from obedience are greater than the cost.

When we are serving the Lord, wherever he has called us, he doesn’t just give us Grace to endure, but Grace to ENJOY

Who comes first….Your family or Jesus?

He gave His best for us, how much more should we offer to him

This is just a summary of the hard and beautiful truths I heard. I want to be desperate for God. A heart that is truly seeking finds His answers. I think I’m almost afraid to find out what he has for my life. I’m scared of the sacrifices I have to make, but at the same time I’m willing to go. My brain is really scrambled; it’s the last week of lecture, I don’t know what to expect on outreach, I’m going to miss the other half of my class, some people on my team still don’t have money to go to Guadeloupe, and my confidence has really dropped. I need to take confidence in Him and not myself. I can sense the heavy attitude over my campus. I was just getting used to the classroom YWAM lifestyle and now I’m being thrown into “outreach” time. I’m looking forward, but I’m easily distracted by emotions.

God is good and his purpose is too. I know I’m going to Guadeloupe to be changed; I just need to be ready to lay down my rights and selfishness. As much as I hate confrontation God is teaching me to confront people and tell them truly how I feel. I think that’s one of my weakest points. I do feel more upfront It’s just really hard. I would rather try and forget about something than discuss the matter. I think my apathy is why my confidence is so low right now. I’m letting myself become stagnant. I need to get moving, start recognizing and battling. I love the idea that when we take part in worship its spiritual Warfare.

As much as I have going on mentally, it truly ha been a good week. Realizing my issues is the first step in destroying them. Please pray for Boldness and patients I’m really lacking both. Pray that His beautiful truth will remain in my mind.

Matthew 10; 37-39

2008-11-23T18:05:00.000-08:00

This week has been very exciting. I’ve been hugely encouraged by my loved ones at home. I received 2 letters and a package of treats provided by John and Meaghan. I was so blessed and happy. I got a cd featuring Francis Chan, pictures of home (including a very cute hamster and my bros 1st hockey game), chips, cookies, a messenger bag, tear jerking notes, an official SMYDEK tee, and vitamins (Flintstone brand). I had been working for two hours in the kitchen and was greeted with this present at the end of work. It really blessed me and inspired me. There is something so wonderful about the hand written word. I’m so recharged from seeing Yoho handwriting. Thank you.
Our teaching this week rocked. We talked about unreached people groups and church planting methods. We learned about the history of missions, which I almost felt was too good to be true. God has used different eras in history to reach specific people groups. For example, in the late 1700’s to the mid 1800’s most of the missionaries being sent out to the nations were British and landing on shores and remaining close to the oceans. This era was named the Coastland mission period because believers were outlining the nations with the gospel; it was in later years that they headed inland to the areas considered more dangerous for foreigners. A man named William Carey was very influential in this time, he was British and worked mostly in India. If you go to Joshuaproject.net you can find the people groups that remain unreached today.

Yesterday was pretty full we spent the morning feeding people at a homeless shelter. The people there are so intellectual; most of them know the bible more than any of us do. They are so happy without shoes on there feet. I want faith like that. Before we served them we sang and read a short devotion. They were so interactive and enthusiastic. Could I be that joyful? Could I be that confident in God? Some of the men there had excellent careers at one point. One sweet elderly man had been an architect and designed many neighborhoods in Montego Bay. Another was a German translator who attended school in Miami, but was between jobs for too long and learned how to live homeless. Many of the men were so rich at one point that they got sick of money. They became irresponsible and just stopped working. I sometimes feel foolish ministering to people in this situation. They know more than me, they’ve been through incredible devastation, they don’t have a bed and here I come singing songs about how faithful God is when I’ve been supported and cared for beyond my own understanding. They should be ministering to me. I go there to hear from them. I want to be an encouragement and a servant to them.

Later our class headed to the beach to relax. We got really sun burned and played volleyball with a nice couple. It’s crazy that the scenery here and the time on the beach is slowly becoming ordinary to me. Yesterday the girls and I were tanning and suddenly I remember we were here in this tropical paradise on the Lords business.

This morning I went to this really beautiful Catholic Church. This scripture was the basis of a skit we’ve been using in different churches throughout the past several weeks. In YWAM we do something called mobilizing. We go to youth groups and Sunday services to speak about D.T.S and our other schools we usually do a drama or dance followed by testimonies and an overview of the curriculum. Our drama of late had been from this story in Matthew. I need to take it more seriously. Every single thing I do to someone I am doing to my Lord. Usually I’m selfish and ignorant. I do things completely for myself without even thinking about others or the Lord. I’m really trying to become more aware of my actions and the motives behind those actions. Taking every thought captive is a hard task, but a rewarding one. God is speaking.

Tonight my outreach team got together and practiced our French. I realized how difficult in was all of my Spanish skills came flooding back, which was nice, but alas not helpful. Then, we watched Oceans 11 in French with English subtitles, it was still surprisingly funny.

Be blessed this week.

News on the Outreach

2008-11-15T12:54:00.000-08:00

Well, it turns out that Haiti is no longer an option. I can't say I'm not disappointed, but I rust its for the best. The base there is not very safe due to damages caused in the hurricane. Our leaders didn't want to risk deaises and separation between our team. My leaders are husband and wife and they couldn't bring the children into the nation, so we are sticking together in Guadeloupe! I leave the 7th of December and return January 29th. I'm very happy things worked out and my team seems to be unified that Haiti isn't for this season. I trust my leaders they've prayed and this is the outcome. It also is nice because we don't have to fly through Miami. I didn't want to go to the States for fear I'd catch a bus home...Just kidding.

I've learned all these new skits and evangelistic performances. We had a dts dance party the other night for three hours. I love dancing with my classmates because we never judge each others dance moves. Some stuff is pretty ridiculous but still entertaining. I really want to visit Bellingham, Washington. My friend Alia is from there and it sounds like a really cool art/snowboard town. She's shared a ton of her local music and it rocks!

Today we are all just relaxing. We've been so busy this passed week that a break was necessary. I went to the airport yesterday to pick up our speaker. He looks like a mix between John Goodman and Uncle Bilbo. The teaching is going to be about reaching the nations an dhow to Handel cross cultural differences during outreach. I'm happy this week isn't focusing on us as the individuals, but us as a class going out into the world. The dts experience is full of inner healing and revelation so my spirit will enjoy a change of focus.

Oh, if anyone is planning to end me something please do so asap. I'm leaving in three weeks and sometimes it takes that long to get a letter. Slow mail is torture here. I stair at my meal box before every meal and its usually empty, except one letter from dear Eric Schmitz, that really rose my spirits! Thanks morp date.

Reading Romans 14 changed me

Whats up

2008-11-09T09:20:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I got to go shopping for the first time. I picked up some random gifts and just walked around. I'm getting more and more comfortable with living here and functioning in the community with the locals. It's funny, everyone here thinks I'm Canadian. at least 6 Jamaicans called me out for being Canadian and were shocked that I'm actually American. I can't tell the difference between the two, one man said it was my nose, but whatever. I like Canada they have free health care! Pretty awesome.

The rainy season is starting to pick up it rains really hard either all day or for just an hour. The rain falls so hard that you get so wet you have to change clothes and the more you change the more laundry you have to wash, and the more laundry the more you have to run to save your clothes on the line from having to be washed again. when the rain falls on the line your clothes reek! So most of today I've been washing and drying with my hair dyer in our room. It' fun but I've got the feeling it will get old quick.
I was reading our book this week, Spiritual Warfare, and there was this great bit about being honest and looking for the honesty in others when we are rebuked," ...we must be open and willing to examine the content of what others say to us. Though some of what they say will be false, we need not be defensive, and should defiantly not fight people. If there is truth in what they say, it becomes an opportunity for us to repent, make restitution, and become more like Jesus." This was hard to read. So many times in my life people bring things to me and I just get angry or i search for an excuse that really doesn't apply to the situation. I'm learning a lot about mainting friendship here and I hope I can remember this quote when it surfaces again. I think everyone here is in some sort of breaking point. It's been 8 weeks and were all constantly engaging in relationship with one another. I think my Dts needs to learn how to deal with our conflicts a little more peacefully. The great part about being here is that we have to deal and learn to cope. We can't leave, we can't be alone, and we can't ignore one another. We've all worked out so much amongst each other, but we still have a long way to go. I think my main problem is i like pleasing people, so I tend to hold everything in and explode later.

I can't believe I only have 4 more weeks of lecture! Outreach is going to be really hard for me, but I'm ready to be challenged I just hope my heart is open for this upcoming adventure!

New Lecture phase

2008-11-05T12:38:00.000-08:00

So local outreach is over and Mo Bay is really starting to feel like home. I missed the other students so terribly, but the experience was good. I found out today that my overseas outreach is not just to Guadeloupe, but we will be spending two weeks in Haiti helping to rebuild he base that was hit by a hurricane. This is a really exciting opportunity but it does mean another plane ticket. I know God will provide so it's all good. I should be set by November 10th.

I'm really enjoying the speaker this week her name is faith and shes 77. She has such a strong spirit and looks at the poetry in the bible. A lot of the speakers have focused on Genesis chapters one and two so when she asked us to turn there I was ready to hear the same old facts. However; she surpassed all my previous teachings, she opened up this moment in history with brilliant creativity. I've never looked at it this way before. Needless to say, she had us all dead silent listening and waiting for the next part of the story. Here are a couple of her exciting points;

-The endless variety in humans (hair, eyes, skin, hearts) bear witness to an infinite God, who will never come to an end at expressing himself. All of us were created in His image and as many people as there are, and have been on this earth, he will keep showing himself in new and completely unique ways. We are all priceless beyond measure.

-Nothing that sin has done in our lives can separate us fom God

-God is neither just male or just female, he is both. He epressed himself differently in the two. Marriage is the most complete representation of Gods image.

-Genesis 2;19 God wanting Adam to realize that he did not have a companion on the earth, none of the animals were comparable to him. Adam was looking for something that God wanted him to have.

-God doesn't call us to loneliness we are to be in relationship with others as he is in relationship with the spirit and son, as he always has been.

-Woman was the last thing created, she was taken from Adam and then in Genesis 2; 22 we read that the Lord brought Eve to Adam. This is such a privilege to be escorted by God to your companion.

-Genesis 2;8 God had completed creation and saw that it was good, but after he created man he plants a garden especially to shelter and provide for man. We are highly valued to the Lord

-Genesis 3 the seriousness of a fall depends on the height at which we fell from. We fell from union with God, there is no higher height than that.

I could go on and on and on, but those were some interesting points. I hope your inspired to read these scriptures and hear him speak. We also looked at the book of Ruth and just as Boaz is a kinsman redeemer, so Jesus is the worlds kinsman Redeemer. Boaz is such an impressive man his purity and Godly righteousness make him a model man.

so Obama, I don't know how I feel about this I regret that I kept myself far away from the election. We can only pray that God would make His will done in this nation, I guess we have to wait and see how our country handles this. Either good or bad this is so huge for our countries history. I got to talk to Donna which was so encouraging I love the way God speaks through her. I really missed home this week. I just keep remembering that God never said this would be easy, but he did say it would be worth it. I'm praying for Awana, that God would overflow His knowledge into the leaders and children there. it's funny how I can be so far away but home in spirit.

2 Timothy 4;2 Preach the word and be prepared in and out of season; correct rebuke and encourage with great patients ad careful instruction. I'm working on my relationships with my outreach team and this verse is keeping me in line. It's so hard sometimes.

Yesterday we had creative worship with everyone on the base. we learned this really cool song and dance from Nigeria, I'm going to have someone write down the words so I can teach it on outreach and when I get home. I'm starting to realize that Guadalupe may be my dts outreach, but Maryland is my life outreach.

God's in Love with you.

Outreach

2008-11-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

Local Outreach is finally over

This week our DTS split into two groups. The Antigua team and the Guadalupe team. We all spent the week serving in our teams and spending time together to get a small taste os what our 8 week outreach will be. I had a hard time. Most of my close friends are in the other group so I felt left out most of the time, but the ministry was challenging and pretty fun. We visited an orphanage two times; the kids were so adorable and playful. It breaks my heart that they don’t have the family structure so many of us were privileged to have. Some of them had special needs; some had learned to talk and then just stopped all speech, some cried the whole time we were there, we had kids that would not let us put them down. Overall it was a great experience we spent 4 hours playing and loving them. Leaving was awful. I almost felt bad for even going because the children had fun with us and then we just left and were never going back there. We made friends we’ll never see again. The kids must become so desensitized to people walking away from their lives. I know they enjoyed our time with them, but the they were so hurt when we said goodbye.
This trip made me think about my motives and why I even wanted to go there. Was it because I really wanted Christ to be displayed to these kids, or did I behave differently from someone who goes their just out of there own compassion. I realized I need to approach everyone with God’s Love, and with God because he is Love. I’m not saying that going to visit orphans out of compassion is wrong, but how much more affective is it to approach things while being in Gods will, while being ready to share and pray over the children, expressing love to them that the world can’t give?
We also did some “street evangelism” that’s when we walk up to people and share the word. I’m not really comfortable with this method, but I was more encouraged than discouraged at the end of the day. We walked around downtown Mandeville and made conversation. I don’t like really talking to people aggressively so we just asked them questions about what they believed and what they accepted when death arrives. Most people proclaimed the power in Jesus name, but some thought we just die. The people here are very interesting, we meat this one older woman who’s name was Mistress Gloria Plum. She had this awesome pink sequenced baseball cap on. It was really hard to understand the older folks because they’re “patwha” was really mumbled. At the end of every encounter we asked if individuals felt comfortable with us praying for them, most people said something along the lines of, “don’t pray for me or don’t bless me, pray for a blessing over everyone in the world” not many wanted their name to be spoken and lost of Jamaicans are humanitarian. We also met people that new the truth in Christ, but they just were not ready to live that way, they openly admitted they were okay with backsliding against the God they believed in. I think that might be harder to talk about than the gospel, because then it’s trying to explain how God wants to use them and that can be a hard truth to confront a stranger with. Overall, this was a good experience but I think City Reach is much more affective ministry because people come to us. It’s easier to resent the Love of God when someone engages you in a conversation. But, in the end it doesn’t matter how things play out because if the word of life is spoken or shown it’s a victory. I realized that I need to live out the Word. I need to be ready to share, do, or help people with the Lord’s intentions and compassion. Simple things like going o the grocery store, getting gas, everyday errands are a time to love people. I’ve always known that I just forget about it. I hope I become more aware and less afraid. I also wan to acknowledge that being sensitive to the holy spirits leading is the key to this. Sometimes you don’t need to share.
We also spent time in the Mandeville base helping with the Christian Elementary school that operates there. The kids were so crazy and funny. They were really excited we were there and they loved us. Every time we would walk to lunch or resses we were holding at least ten tiny hands, and when we sat in a circle to read everyone was trying to sit next to us. It was really fun to experience that kind of unconditional love. Even if we had to discipline the children, three seconds later they loved us just the same. The teachers really appreciated our help. It was nice to feel needed and used. That affirmation bonded our team; we always left school with a funny story. I’m so happy to be home and I’m o excited for the week ahead. I missed my friends and I have a ton of laundry to catch up on. I think we might go in town tonight for dinner and a reggae concert. I’m excited but nervous; you never know what’s going to happen in town.

My school

2008-10-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

This is my classroom, I learn here

soo Outreach.. yeah

2008-10-24T18:19:00.000-07:00

Here's a 3 am picture of Larissa, Selena, and I

so as of right now I'm going to Guadalupe and I'm not really sure it's what God wants Me to do I'm really unsettled about it. My group is fine and my leaders are great, but I'm just not sold on it. I thin k the next week will really help me. we are going back to Mandevill and this week with my group will help me decide if this is gong to work for me. This whole process has really been tedious. I thought I was going to the Bahamas then that option was canceled. I thought I was happy with Guadalupe and now I'm not feeling too good about it. Please pray for me. i know God's going to use me wherever I go, but when times are hard I'm going to want to be able to say with complete confidence that this is the place I'm called to serve. Oh, please send me a letter. My address here is..

Ashley Guilday
Youth With A Mission
Box 198 Reading Post Office
S.t James, Jamaica

I would love to here from someone, there is such excitement in the written word. Thank you for the prayers and fun comments. I'm so refreshed by the love pouring out from the interweb. The more weeks pass, the more I miss home, but I know it's all gravy!!!!

Doctors

2008-10-22T18:17:00.001-07:00

These guys are everywhere this one was in the bathroom at 5:30 this morning...fun

I'm still sick, but today I was able to go to this free missionary doctor. She told me I have a bacterial infection in my stomach. She gave me some antibiotics after a 5 hour wait. I thought I forgot how to speak because I sat there silent the whole time. It was actually kind of nice to just "be" read old magazines and sit. I didn't take notes or have to spend time with someone on the base, I sat. I spent the lunch hour fasting and praying for Michael. I got to talk with him for the first time since I left. I really miss him and we had a really good talk. We prayed together. I'm so happy about that I could scream. He's awesome. I'm going back to Mandeville this coming week for Local Outreach. My small team is working at a Veterans home, an orphanage, a school, and just walking the streets picking up trash and talking to people. I'm nervous about my team. we have some conflicting relationships and it could get messy. I'm glad it's going to be challenging, that means more growing. I wen to Nagril this passed week. It was fun but I also witnessed a stabbing. I'm realizing how different life off the base is, and growing more thankful for my guard dogs and barbed wire fences...

This week

2008-10-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

So Mandeville is really fun. The base is up in the hills away from town. It’s so peaceful and quiet unlike Mo bay. I fall asleep listening to the breeze instead of loud reggae or the occasional gunshot. We went to the coolest church this morning. The congregation was young but really insightful. Most of the churches in Jamaica do a lot of screaming, but this one was very sober and fun. I felt more relax and less distracted during worship. The most adorable kids were there so afterwards the other girls and I passed babies around. On the way to and from church some of us road in the back of a pickup truck through the country. The land is so lush and green here. The dirt in Mandeville is red its used to make aluminum so there’s a lot of mining. After church we headed out for a walk to a small farming community. So many people live in shacks held together by wire and bamboo. We saw amazing plant life. Its pretty peaceful here, good for getting all my bookwork done…

Monday October 13, 2008
Today is my one month anniversary to Jamaica. I can’t believe how much has happened in this short amount of time. This experience is flying by. We talked about generational sin and how the mistakes we make affect our children and other relatives. I’ve been looking at the trends in my family and it’s scary. Every generation has the choice to follow the example, weather good or bad, set before them by parents and other influences. I’ve been recognizing the sin I’ve chosen to follow and the sin God has helped me conquer or stand against.
My work duties are not kitchen work here, which is a nice change. This base was also once a plantation so they have an amazing great house. For two hours yesterday we moved all this scrap wood. That evening we sat on top of the great house, sang songs, and stared at the full moon. Sometimes I actually “look” at creation. I see the Lord and all He has made. I was thinking about how I could ever want for anything when all I need is right in front of me. I love praising through the beauty he gave us on earth.

Tuesday October 14, 2008
Today we learned all about healing and being cleansed and choosing to believe the truth and not the lies about ourselves. Someone back home kept telling me to love myself and they were so right. My problem was not accepting God’s forgiveness or even the forgiveness of others who know some of my darkest trespasses, but forgiving myself, freeing myself from my own judgments and acts of self hatred. I was being so hard on myself that I stopped loving anything about me. I did and still do hate some aspects of my personality, looks, and situations. I’m learning to embrace who He created me to be. I realized I was dishonoring Him and mocking Him by being negative to myself aka, His creation.

Wednesday October 15
So class was cool I felt really sick earlier but I think I’m just stressed. I have three plays to write, two books I’m reading at the same time, and a schedule with very little and sometimes no free time. We met after class last night and played a game where everyone was in a circle and handed 4 close pins each. We were then given the sinario that we were all on a ship and the boat was going down and we each could only pick 4 people to survive in the life boat with only 4 seats. We had to go in front of every person and tell them weather we chose for them to be granted life or death. It was interesting because we could discus why or why not we choose different people. In the end the 4 people with the most pins were seated on 4 chairs on the stage. Somehow I was on of the four. The other people were parents and another student. Those who didn’t make it into the boat were asked to lay down and imagine they had died so the 4 of us could survive. Then they had to share what they would have their tomb stone read. This exercise was so intense. Being someone who was granted life really made me think again about how I dislike myself and how sinful that is. God created me for life and I was reminded of that when 15 other Christians voted to give me life, they thought I was worthy and I would live a life worthy of all their deaths. If they feel that way, how much more does God value my life? Sweetly Broken…CHECK!

Thursday October 16,
Class was full of intense discussion. We talked about spiritual warfare and what things of the enemy or what ways do we open up for him to move in. We discussed yoga, Harry Potter, Idol masks, music, tattoos, witchcraft, Halloween, est. I found it hard because if we take something and look at it as just a book, or exercise we don’t necessarily become a satanic worshiper. I know Harry Potter is just a book, I also know that witchcraft is a sin or Occult practice. I don’t read or watch Harry Potter and give way to witchcraft; I don’t do yoga and worship the sun god, I simply exercise. I am aware now of the dangers in things like that. We were given the idea of praying that God would only reveal His goodness in those things and that he would remove the sin in them. I don’t feel convicted about Harry Potter; it’s just a book to me. I guess I’m trying to say, the Holy Spirit’s conviction is really important. I just don’t appreciate someone telling me to remove myself from things that are not completely of God, church isn’t even completely of God, and everything is going to be imperfect in this world. We are not in Heaven. I will not yoke myself to the origins of yoga. I will exercise that way and focus on scripture. I think it really depends on the person in most situations, but now that attention has been brought to my life about what is evil; I’m responsible for anything Satan has twisted.
We went to work duties and cut down shrubs and jungle plant life in the holy hole, which is a spot in the forest where we are having a bonfire tomorrow night. It was awesome to use a machete on the wild plant life. The Mandeville site is really rustic compared to Mo Bay our room is kind of like the orphanage with all 9 girls in one room. It looks just like Annie’s.
After class I got really sick. My head was pounding, my right arm was tingling, and my stomach was in terrible pain. I vomited and cried. I confessed battles I had been fighting in my head. My spirit and body were in terrible pain. Some of my darkest issues came to light. I know I’ve been forgiven I just never dealt with the feelings and consequences of my mistakes. I accept God has forgiven me, but I need to be transformed by the renewal of my mind. I just kept obsessing over my problems, instead of facing them and moving on. I know this process is going to be slow. It’s a daily choice and daily struggle. Praise God for this difficult time and ask Him to restore me.

Friday October 17
I still feel sick. My heart is heavy. But, God is good. I know he’ll be changing me and helping me to cope with my heartache. I have such a comforting group of leaders. They read to me, prayed over me, gave me medicine, listened to my confession, had compassion and understanding towards, held my hair back when I got sick. I am surrounded by strong caring women of God that look on me with love. If they can accept, forgive, and want to help heal me, how much more does the Father want to restore me? I give thanks for this safe place of recovery. Throughout this week we have written sin down on small pieces of paper. Tonight we will have a bonfire and destroy these hindrances. I want this symbolic act to strengthen me on the path to His righteousness.

ok friends

2008-10-11T10:18:00.000-07:00

I'm going to the other ywam base this week to do some cleaning and restoring. The base is very low in staff so we're going to work for the week. I talked to Meaghan for 3 seconds last night, but it was so good. I miss my friends. This week was awesome our speaker was by far my favorite; so real and deep. I'm reading Narnia. I have ten toes. I'm still alive. Last night I went to town with three other girls. We got a very sketchy cab driver. We were all very nervous so I asked him if we could sing him a song. It was quite hilarious; 4 white girls singing a Latin song to a Rastafarian. Pretty random but pretty awesome. I miss fall and the leaves changing and wearing a light jacket. Hope the Lord is strong in your heart today...

yikes.

2008-10-07T16:47:00.000-07:00

We're learning about forgiveness. It's amazing. I'm realizing so many good things. Our speaker this week is great. Hes living with the love of Christ in him. We've just finished watching this move, "Dead man Walking" it is really intense, but it tells a beautiful story of forgiveness and how hatred eats away at us. Susan Surandon plays a nun how consuls a man convicted of rape and murder. The film captures Christ love and represents his children well. It is very emotional and rated R so I caution any interested. I'm inspired to really love and accept and forgive. God is revealing a lot of my ignorance this week conserning My relationships with others, and how I thought things were good because I was simply telling myself I had forgiven them instead of actually doing it. That sounded confusing, but I hope you understand. Jesus IS.
One love,
ashley

Uper Fun Day!

2008-10-04T17:21:00.000-07:00

Today was just what i needed. We went to this off road beach and swam for two hours. It was so great to soak in the sun and eat ice cream. I was happy to be simple and quiet. I'm loving this place and this time. I talked to Erika and shes doing so well, answered prayer! I can't believe it's only been three weeks, I'm ready for 4 to start.

A Long Week...

2008-10-03T15:06:00.000-07:00

So i was really stretched thin this week. We were really busy and our speaker Gayle was not my style. She was very emotional and almost rude, so it made listening to Gods hard truth come out of her difficult. In the end i was challenged, but it took a lot for me to understand her. We talked about the fear of the Lord and how its the reverence or respect for Gods power. We discussed having a pure heart and ways to discover if your heart is pure, and how pride leads to rebellion, and rebellion disbelief. We had about 4 extra hours of class this week so I'm really tired. Having all this information in my brain was just not fun. It hurt, it was messy, and heartbreaking. I have a lot to deal with before I can move on. I'm happy all this happened so early in dts. The sooner the better. I need to, in the words of my loving father, "dump my junk" It's time to leave the doubt, fear, self loathing, and attention seeking at the cross. I also needs to stop making generalized apologies. If I'm not convicted of a specific issue I'm not saying sorry. feeling wrong for nothing is condemnation and only come from evil. It's been hard but tonight is the welcome party for the performing arts students. I really want to do the art school. I've also been approached 3 times about staffing here. I'm open to whatever, just waiting on direction. I can't wait for the healing I'm already experiencing, and the joy of being clean to increase. Did you know that blood is a cleaning agent. It creates a White spot after its wiped away, very cool.

A Lot

2008-09-29T17:54:00.000-07:00

I'm looking through my note book trying to find out what interesting fact to share with my loved ones... ok got it.

Ways God Speaks
He's the voice behind you Isaiah 30;21
Dreams and visions acts 2; 17
Audible Voice 1 Samuel 3; 1-10
The written Word Psalms 119; 105
Gifts of the spirit 1 Corinthians 12
Preaching of the Word Romans 10; 13-14
Animals Numbers 22;28

These are just a couple of examples as to how our Loving Father makes His plans known to us. I'm loving class and expanding my knowledge of the One. I'm really considering a bible college. I'm feeling the need to get through the whole word with in depth study. I'm trying to hear where God wants me on outreach and still no indication has come. I'm not stressing out because I know I'll be used anywhere, but it is still important to know from Him because when it gets hard I'll want to be reminded that i was supposed to be there. I want to be regret free and totally confident in his calling.

I was blown away by Johns blog. It really means the World to me that the Lord is and has been using me.

To those at home, I want to tell you. Yes, I'm here where and my whole day is scholastically focused on God and serving Him. I'm learning and growing, but just because your still at work, school, home, or wherever does not mean Hes doing more work in me than in you. The Kingdom is near. I don't mean to sound rude, just encouraging you that the Lord is working in you too. Jamaica or Maryland, God is using.

YWAM has a photography school, a performing Arts school, and Bible school. So many doors please pray.

Compassion
Kindness
Humility
Gentleness
Patients Colossians 3; 5-17

2008-09-23T18:01:00.000-07:00

So I'm really excited about school. We have been placed into groups and we are going to all act out a chapter from Philippians then perform it in a park during our outreach time in Mo Bay and our other outreach time. I can't wait. i think the main point of Philippians chapter 4 is rejoicing and contentment. We have to learn to be happy whether hungry or well feed. it's cool we read that today because we were fasting today so I was really hungry, then God reminded me that my food is his will and the price has been paid and therefore, rejoicing is in order. I'm learning so much and doing so much. I think this weekend my dts mates and I are going to Nagril! I think I'm going to jump off the cliff! But, probably not cuz it took me like ten minutes to jump off that stupid platform at Cascade lake so chances of me making it off a cliff are slim, but who knows I'm kinda crazy... I miss my people and can't wait to see them. I also was told today that my hair is that of someone half white and half black! yes! almost there.

Romans 12;9-20

Truth

2008-09-22T19:11:00.000-07:00

Today we did some street chillin'. Hanging out with the people and spreading the light. I raced with these kids in the park and held this woman's baby and ate sugarcane, which was gross, but cool. I love the way we learn and do here. I know I've already talked about that, but it's such a healthy way to grow. we get t o explore the town and enjoy the beauty! I also really want to be in the performing arts school. You learn dance, an instrument, song writing, vocals, play writing, miming, and theatre. i also learned that my dts counts towards about 21 college credits. I think with that in mind I'll be praying more about what could be next and be sure of where hes calling. I'm really excited about the next week because were actually starting the lecture phase of school. Dave Alexander gave the truth sermon and tomorrow were continuing. We talked about the lies we've chosen to believe and our reasons for doing so. I think it's easier to believe lies sometimes. I get down on myself and just stay down it's so hard sometimes to remember that He has won the victory and we are clean. I really miss home and i want to see my dad. God is good, all the time God is good.

Last night I had dinner with the married staff members Jenny and Aaron, they remind me a lot of Davey and Jill, I miss them too...

The Last three Days

2008-09-20T18:25:00.001-07:00

September 18
Good News! Today they announced that our field assignment will be in; Guadalupe, The Bahamas, or Antique/S.t. Kitt. We are not told where to go we will be praying over these places for the next two weeks, then sharing what the Lord has spoken. Please pray for me in this, I really have no clue. I don’t know much about these places so I’m worried I might just pick. I am scared I won’t be listening just guessing. I know God is going to use me anywhere, but it’s important I’m confident in the place I go.
Today we shared testimonies all day. It was really exhausting but freeing. I told these eleven strangers parts of my life that had been in the dark for a long time. The Lord is restoring and shepherding. I was so encouraged to here about everyone’s own journey to dts and their stories of faith. I am surrounded by committed people who also desire God to be first, and dts is what that looked like for all of us. How neat that God would have this select and willing group together to grow in our knowledge and love for Jesus together. Oh, cool fact there are twelve students here, twelve disciples, very significant eh?
Tonight we’re going to the YWAM Caribbean overseer’s house for some brownies and fellowship. I just found out they have a trampoline so I’m going to show off my cheer-skills. Really wow the crowd, ya know?! Anyway, blessing and thanksgivings I send home! Sleep well!

September 19
Today we learned all about Jamaica and its brutal history. We also learned all about the Rastafarian's and what they actually believe. It’s very complicated but basically they worshiped a man from Ethiopia and thought he was the actual Christ. The think that Jesus was a prophet but usually associate the name as a slave ship that brought Africans into Jamaica for slavery. They thought that Haley Salasie was the true son of God. I’m sorry if my Lord we’re in Ethiopia I’d be in Ethiopia, but most Rasta’s were in Jamaica, weird. It made me rethink my bob Marley music taste and understand some lyrics I had been questioning. That was an abbreviated version, but the main idea.

So we had a welcome home party tonight that was amazing. We played all these fun games and had a Jamaican Banquet. The food is really unique but not my style, too much starch! We had a dance party afterwards, there are a lot of cool reggae Christian artist, and many reformed Rasta’s!! The music is so fresh and full of life! I learned signature moves like, gully creeper, and the sweep, and heel toe, the Jamaicans told me I was pretty good and asked me where I learned to dance like them! I felt pretty accepted because some people on the base were a bit standoffish too me but loosed up last night, very nice. I also got cornrows, it was ridiculous.

September 20, 2008
Today I got up and cooked for and hour then feed the homeless at a shelter. I love ywam. We learn and we do. The people were a little scary, but God allowed me to speak John 4; 34 to them. I told them that Jesus gave them this meal, but his word and will are our true nourishment. They took pretty well to me and it was humbling to sit and talk with them. I met this one crazy woman who was really out of it. She told me her name was Monica then asked me about my bracelets. I told her about my people and the reasons I wore them, she really liked this orange, brown, and yellow one I had from forever ago. I put it on randomly before I left for no reason. On the plane I asked myself why I was wearing it and I guess it was for Monica. She gave me a string from her coat and we prayed together. How cool? I of course will wash the bracelet then wear it with pride! We went to another shelter and I made friends with this guy named Alvin. He said he wanted to write me and ask me questions about God. I’m not really sure what to expect, but yeah we’ll see. We prayed with them and then ran through downtown handing out meals to anyone who looked hungry. Seeing the kids starving stirred up something in me. I am certain this is my call in ministry right now. I’m really blessed by the work God is doing in this city. It’s breaking to see people with no home praise God for the little things they do have.
We went to the beach and met up with the rest of the students because the street feeding was optional and only 5 of us felt called to run around with Marion. The beach was amazing you have to pay $2.50 and it was worth it. We could watch the airplanes come in on these water trampolines and I swam about 30 feet down with my snorkel. The fish are see-through and the coral looks amazing. It was so nice to swim in God’s creation and give thanks for the blessed morning with his people. We had pizza Hut for lunch which really hit the spot and I had a Pepsi for the first time, soo good. It was a nice bit of home. I have to go finish hand washing my clothes and reading my book! God is good, God is always good.

New Stuff

2008-09-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

So I love the base director her name is Marion and she is really cool. Today we got our first assignment and briefing for our classwork. we were all assigned a partner that works on the staff, and a YWAM foundational value. The goal is to put a debate together that proves why we believe our value is the most important. Lucky for me I got the first value; KNOW GOD. I think I've got this in the bag. I have to dress up and share my three minute presentation in front of the whole base. Here are my supporting reasons why Knowing God is the first and most important YWAM value...

Psalm 105; 9
"Give thanks to the Lord call on his name; make known what he has done"
we can't make our God known unless we know him first

James 2; 17
"faith by itself if not accompanied by action is dead"
Yes, we are called to DO, but we can't step out into action unless we have faith/knowledge

Philippians 3; 8
What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of KNOWING Christ Jesus my lord for whose sake I have lost all things, I consider them rubbish that I might gain Christ.
All is worthless without the Knowledge of Him, our good works are nothing without the heart of a servant allowing our Lord to work through us.

If we Know God and continue to further our knowledge all the other amazing YWAM values will come into place. If we know him we want to be hospitable, and hear his voice, and make disciples of all nations. We have to get it so we can give it. We first learn of his great sacrifice before we live it.

Love. Mercy. hope.

First Monday

2008-09-15T17:54:00.000-07:00

September 15,
So today we had to get up at 6 and have breakfast, and then we had worship service. At worship we met the entire staff for this ywam campus. The people here are extremely nice. The staff gathered around the 12 of us students and prayed over us. I felt so at home because my people circle around me in Maryland too. They prayed for us to hear God, to understand his calling in each of our hearts, and they gave thanks for our willingness to leave home and seek Him.
Then we went with our dts leaders; Eric and Alice, to the front gate of the base. We all took a small piece of paper and wrote down sin that we needed to confess. We prayed alone and then gathered at the foot of a wooded cross, there we burned the pieces of paper and prayed for forgiveness and if we felt lead we could confess anything we were okay with sharing. It was raw and touching to share our sin nature with one another. I did not share, but my friend Sandra was suffering from something similar to me and she shared. God has really been bringing me closer to her these passed three days. We have a lot of fun together and I love learning about the German culture and sharing Americas with her.
After the confessing we went into the worship hall and finished paper work for our visa for our field assignment and flights home. Oh, Thanks dad for printing a copy off my return flight information, once again I couldn't be here without your help!!!! I picked up my books and bought a drumstick, which was my first taste of home because Jamaican food is kind of weird. My girl Alice and the director of YWAM Mo Bay had a meeting with me earlier. They prayed for God to teach me and use my gentle heart. They read me things that the Lord had laid on there heart for me before I arrived. They read me scripture and told me how God created me to lift up others…Wow. Already an amazing day and I haven’t eaten lunch yet. I miss my people but I’m carrying them with me in my paradise.

Oh we have a memory verse each week so I thought I’d let you guys know what I was learning.
Habakkuk 2; 2-3
Then the Lord replied; write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets, so that a herald may run with it. The revelation awaits the appointed time. It speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger; wait for it, It will not delay and is coming.

I send you all Love. Love. Love.

Oh also some random things; I’m not a person that sweats a lot, but here I walk ten feet and half to change shirts, so yeah it’s really hot and humid. Also at worship we learned this really cool song. The chorus goes,”a ma mi daddhi Oh, a ma mi daddhi O” it means He is my Father. I loved it. I’m about to go on a scavenger hunt of the beach town so until next time.
Peace.

Made It.

2008-09-14T11:37:00.000-07:00

I woke up, repacked, left my passport at home, cried, laughed, ate breakfast with Denny, received 3 special last minute gifts, and made it safely. The clouds looked so majestic from the plane, it looked like kingdom. I am so blessed and so happy here thus far. I got off the plane and headed to immigration. I had to prove why I was in Jamaica then meet a YWAM rep out side. My flight landed early so I just wondered outside for 30 minutes and it was fine, but I had to tell about 80 sketchy cab drivers that I would not need their services. Then, Alice was there! She is a dts staff member and an awesome stylish British girl. She put me in her truck and we drove off through the beach town and up to campus. I told her how i came to Jamaica and how Jesus had clearly pointed me her. I told her about all the love surrounding me back home and the affirmation I'd been granted. It cool how other believers understand me, how they know exactly what kind of love and support I'm talking about. Alice made me feel very at home and welcome. At ywam we pray whenever we leave and enter the base. So Alice prays and we unloaded.
The first person I met was Sandra. She's from Germany but was born in Switzerland so her first language is Swiss-German. Sandra is really sweet and dear she says cute catch phrases when shes trying to articulate with English words. Every other minute she goes, "uuhh how you say..." it's interesting. Hannah arrived next she's from PA so we connect over everything. Larissa is from Canada, and loves ice hokey. I old her Canada was basically America just better health care. The four of us explored campus and walked off base last night which was not a good idea because Jamaicans drive like their crazy. Later that night we hung out with Erin and his family. His wife and him are staff members and they have two adorable children, Malachi 3, and Ezra 1. I'm really happy their are little kids here I might not miss Jason so terribly.
I swam in the Caribbean today. I had my goggles on and saw about 15 feet down I also scraped my foot on a rock and bleed neon blood for a good ten minutes. I'm okay but I then repeatedly stubbed the wound. No hospital trips yet, but have no fear I'm sure it's coming. I also found out that my out reach has been changed to somewhere in the Caribbean. I guess I'm not going to Africa after all which is disappointing but God is going to use me regardless so who cares where I go? Selena Mildred and Shauna lee arrived today they are all Jamaican and they've been teaching me slang. wahguan me doops means, whats up friends. I can't wait to learn about this great place. The view from my room is outrageous. Mo bay is beauty. Thanks for reading even though it's sporadic and grammatically poor. I love you guys...Here are some pictures.

Sueprise!! ahhhh I am so LOVED.

2008-09-07T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I was happy with a great farewell morning at church and some Starbucks with my mom today, little did I know what excitement laid ahead of me. After coffee my mom and i came home she wasn't feeling well so she laid down for a nap and I posted the blog entry directly below this one. All of a sudden, she busted into my room saying that someone from church had been in a terrible accident and many people were going to meet at the church to pray. I got up, changed clothes, and ran to the car. My mom was crying on the way over and I was trying to calm her down even though I was very nervous to find out who had been hurt or even killed. I came into the church expecting tears and bowed heads when what I got was a ton of people who love me shouting "surprise". I was so confused, wasn't someone dead? no. I was shocked and a little upset. I would have rather gone to Church with a different mind set than, "someone is gone and God's going to use it for good" but nonetheless I was surprised.
My Aunt Brenda and cousin Kristen set up a lovely arrangement turning our plain church into a tropical paradise. They had a cake with flowers, volleyball, slide show of my life, heart breaking speeches, Jesus music, useful gifts, amazing hugs, and most importantly people who love me and trust that the Lord is making his will done in my life. I have been filled with the love and grace of the savior through those he has placed in my path. My heart is going to explode! Thank you everyone for the best party ever.

Prayed Up!

2008-09-07T12:26:00.001-07:00

Hello all! I have only 6 days left here in the U.S.A. I could not have asked for more love an support as I step out into this journey of faith. Today at church the congregation laid hands on my and prayed for the love our our lord Jesus to be demonstrated through me,the grace of our Lord has brought me to this excited and life changing time. I'm overwhelmed with joy. after church, I was prayed over again by a close family friend and I could feel the Love of Christ pouring out of her heart over me. I can't wait to See what God is going to do not only to me and my mission but to my home and my community. I am loved and forgiven and ready for this next chapter in life...

Please be prayinh for the people in Jamaica; my teachers, classmates, the political leaders, the government, the children, and the weather. I know God is moving and preparing me for this time away from almost all that I know, it's time to see who I am regardless of my enviornment.

Yup Yup Yup leaving soon!

2008-05-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

A little preview of the paradise.

Hi, I guess, wow I'm really terrible at blogging. Anyhow, I just bought my ticket to Jamaica. As most of you know I'm heading out in the fall. I depart at approximately 8:05 am on September the 13th and shall not return home until February 16, 2009 at 10:30 pm. I can't express how excited I am that God has blessed me with this opportunity. Planning has been a very smooth process, with the help of my close friends and family, it looks like everything is coming together nicely. This whole trip was very spontaneous at first and now I'm seeing how it was God's plan all along, like most of us, it just took me forever to realize it or believe that it could happen now.
I need to make a public statement, and if I break the promise I'm about to make at anytime, please feel free to call me and yell at me. While I'm away for 6 months I will most likely not have access to a phone to call home, so with the help of my new camera and the interweb I will blog almost everyday to keep my loved ones posted. If for some ridiculous reason I do not keep my commitment you have my permission to call me out.
Well I'm glad I got that off my chest. I guess this is the end. Please pray for my endeavor and my sanity.

In the one who has all the love,
Atch

F.R.I.E.N.D.S addiction or admiration

2007-09-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

My mother Denise and my younger brother Michael have always been huge f.r.i.e.n.d.s fanatics. I myself, have always enjoyed the show but never became quite as enthralled as they were. Although, I'm reaching a point where I need a fix every couple of days. My Aunt Debbie bought the entire series collection so I've been watching it every other night for the last couple of weeks. I can honestly say I Love it. Yes, some of its inappropriate. I've never actually met people that promiscuous before and they do say a strong collection of swear words every now and then. Despite their ungodly lifestyles, the show is ridiculously witty and comedic. I hardly believe its that legitimately funny. I always watch trying to find the slightest repeat of a joke, but the sarcasm form these six characters kills me.I love how random yet entirely true some of the humor is. In one episode, Rachel puts a tie in Chandlers mouth to keep him quiet and he just looks back at her and spits it out. I always watch movies were someone has a sock or something put in their mouth to keep them quie. The funny part is they struggle as though the sock or tie is duck taped to their face. I always wonder (like most people)why don't they just spit it out. And, of course f.r.i.e.n.d.s would actually have someone realize the situation and spit it out. I know that sounds really confusing, I'm trying to point out how witty and comedic the topics on f.r.i.e.n.d.s are. The only real set back is most of the tragic situations are predictable. You know if someone is really excited about what they are about to eat it will end up on the floor or in Joeys mouth. Well rereading this blog I noticed how I sound like a freak, but that's okay I am falling in love with f.r.i.e.n.d.s, so its okay.

I'll be there for you.

hi.

2007-09-25T08:28:00.000-07:00

I am hanging by the feet of God. This passed week has been incredibly stressful. Yet, at the same time beautiful. I'm more motivated than ever to "do." I have been emptied over and over again and yes, it has been painful but necessary. I have a pretty set schedule but I've been able to make changes so I can visit my friends. I'm looking forward to my trip to college park this weekend. I've heard my fair share of horror stories about that campus but i think I'll survive. Jake Goldberg will protect me from the dangers. I also am very excited for Saturday night live (first baptist church of green valley style). Every 5th Saturday of a month my church performs skits from the show. It's always a wicked good time and I'm trying to bring friends and get some visitors involved. If that interests you let me know and I'll come pick you up, wherever you live. I'm also not excited about my UMCP trip because my buds Megan and Teddy are coming home. I've already made my plans so I'll have to run into them another time. Hey dad, I love you and I promise to do the laundry after work today. Yesterday I gave my first speech and it went great. I actually wrote a monologue and performed it. Acting has really helped in Public Speaking I'm defiantly ahead of the game. God really revealed himself through my best friend Erika. She is searching and growing and falling more in love with the creator daily. The love she is developing is truly an encouragement to my personal walk. It's so funny that her and I always seem to be struggling at the same time. I'm blessed I have a best friend that is so easy to love and wants to learn more about the Lord. She is an excellent example of God drawling people to His greatness. I think I also have a new accountability group and I know that's going to change my life. Sometimes we need other believers that we can share some of the details only the father hears. I would encourage anyone who reads this to find a trustworthy friend who you can be accountable to. I've needed to let go and God has given me peace that the process is already starting. I know this has been an incredibly random pile of thoughts with no paragraphs, but I'm glad I'm starting to hop back aboard the blogging train.

keep on keepin' on...

Against My Will

2007-06-30T18:42:00.000-07:00

Here’s the thing, no, I don't hate to blog, yes, and I haven't for a really long time. Please I don't hate the blogging community I’m just a busy girl and slightly unmotivated. I went to Colorado for a mission trip called city reach from June 9th to the 15th. I've been on two other trips with the city reach organization and never has it made me more excited for the moments when the holy spirit leads you to share the good news. I'll tell the world more later right now im at the coffee house having to fulfill my promise I made to blog. I feel rude with people performing their art in front of me and I have my face buried in Paul’s Mac. In the name of kindness and common courtesy I must go...

Hey Katie!

Good Night!

2007-04-09T14:11:00.000-07:00

Here is Mary Eileen celebrating her seventy third birthday with friends and family at the Peterman house. I know, she was a cutie!

this entry shall be large and in charge. In charge of what? I don't know but still large. Well this last Tuesday my grandmother Mary Eileen Guilday passed away. I'm sure anyone reading this knows that. It was very cool, sad, and, crazy. Cool because she had been suffering so long and her recovery would have been painful. Also cool because shes with Jesus she no longer will wonder or fell pain, shes worshiping the king for all eternity which makes me tickled. Sad because she was loved and a wonderful example for her family and friends. Crazy because throughout all the strife in my family peace has been made. Stupid arguments that happened at Christmas's and family events gone by don't matter. God is uniting my family and showing all of us what really matters and what are hearts need to be fixed on. I am so blessed to have been their when she left this earth. My dad has been so bold and so strong through this whole process you can see the living god leading him through prayer and love. I have more respect for him than i could have ever imagined. God is using and blessing the Guilday family so i thank you readers for your prayer and concern. I have had amazing friends to lean on and hug on during this transition period. Thank you.

As i promised

2007-03-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

Well last weekend i attended the Christian Conference known as impact in Ocean City for the very last time. I had very hi hopes that were well met aside from the fact that some speakers were not really my style and they were not very sound in their preaching. Some rambled others were telling what seemed like 300 stories at once. Oh speaking of 300 if you have not seen it yet it is highly Fantastic with three or four minor nude scenes but, all in all it was amazing. The slow motion cinematography has a great emotional impact on the audience. I found the actors to appear most sincere, nothing seemed funny it held the suspension of disbelief relatively well. But, back to impact, i was able to reunite with my ladies from Teen Community Bible Study which was very exciting. well then i shall pray a good night sleep is had by all.

yours truly,

Awesome.

coming soon...

2007-03-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

I shall very soon update and let the world wide web know all about my adventures at Impact 2007

2007-03-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize that i am indeed never going to become a daily blogger I'm just not that exciting i find it more interesting to wait over a 4 to 6 day gap then cultivate the interesting moments together. I also am very aware of my poor spelling habits so hopefully this blog is an improvement. My, what insane weather has come our way Thursday it was a spring dress and sandals and today I'm wearing two pairs of socks (indoors) just to keep warm . I really want to talk about the relationships in my life but i need to pray for them first. Their is so much I've realized that would take days and days of typing to justify my experience but, alas i don't have that kind of time so i will say this, "the moment we realize our true intentions and, stop tricking ourselves that were doing the right thing, the more honest we become." I tend to just accept things instead of ask questions. That's over. i want to be kinder, respected, and humble. My attitude needs to sink away leaving me without expectation or pretense everything needs to look new only then will i be able to see Him working.

oh i almost forgot,"happy St Patricks Day"

King Evan

2007-03-05T16:47:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday some fellow Linganorians and I spent the evening watching and participating in a male beauty pageant. We went in hopes to discover who would be crowned the reigning king of this Frederick county public school. The winner was none other than they refined and dedicated Mr. Evan Ponton. The competition was fears but this young man wooed the judges and show casted his talent. I myself was very pleased with the competition as a whole their was no fowl judging or misconduct back stage. This experience made me feel i little closer to the other seniors who i had not spoken with in several years. I enjoyed the fellowship and laughter that followed that evening. Overall i had doubt about the show in terms of quality, moral, and my own personal insecurities but, by evenings end i was pleased and proud of the show. I almost fell like a sell out because the musicals and plays need so much more preparation and talent yet the house is barley half full. When a bunch of 18 year old boys dancing to, "its rainin' men" sells out. Overall i was fortunate to participate last Saturday.

2007-02-26T17:08:00.000-08:00

Well on this fine Saturday i was able to see Amazing grace with my mom and dad, go ice skating with the S.t Michael's youth, and thrift shop it was lovely. I found that about three years ago i was an extreme bargain shopper, and now i found a passion for low prices once again. I'm reminded of the saying, "one mans trash is another mans treasure" this is the constitution for thrift shopping. The feeling of recycling clothing is extraordinary. The prices are cheap and the finds are unique. I think one talent i have is the ability to shop well. Anyway, I'm really struggling Whit two of my friendships. It seem the same two people are companions one minute then control freaks the next. I haven't been helping the situation because sometimes i fight fire with fire and react just as they did. The snow was nice 2 hour delays are very comforting but we really can't afford anymore snow days or the younger students will miss my churches annual mission trip in Colorado. OOhh I'm very excited because i discovered i love a food that happens to be very healthy for me. Peas oh my goodness peas are so great. I love when their really warm and you bite into them and the mushy goodness fills the spaces between your teeth. This is a huge moment because rarely do i enjoy any food that's going to help me out in the long run. I hope all you lancer fans will be attending Mr. Linganore this Saturday its going to be quite a showdown. Sean and i had to practice swing dancing today and I'm pretty confident we were the best. If you haven't seen The Prestige i highly suggest watching it. That movie was phenomenal!!!!!

LOST

2007-02-14T17:44:00.000-08:00

Its never a party w/o a crazy Russian jungle woman...

The Lost extravaganza...

We have Kate season 2 and Kate season 3 complete with freckles and sass.

Here is Mr. Horn as John Lock covered in the blood of the diseased Boon.

To the left is Charley with his pre and post baby Claires. Notice the fate and late finger tape rings.

John Horn who rocked the house as the amazing Desmond.

Here is John who came dressed and tattooed as the serious doctor Jack.

The Lost Season Three Extravaganza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We even had our own authentic darma food labels

Here is our palm tree candle light setting, which really helped achieve the island mood, complete with a handcuffed Jin played by Jake.

Yes i admit in the past i was one of those outsiders how saw and heard about the new television sensation LOST and thought it ridiculous, stupid, and more importantly confusing. But please all you current fans forgive me i have changed my ways. The fact that Lost is sooooooo confusing is part of it beauty and appeal. Over this past Christmas break i had enough free time to watch the previous two seasons and the couple of episodes of season 3 online, which by the way was extremely annoying because I'd get half way through an episode and the computer would freeze. But aside from my technological complications i was able to catch myself up in time to be so completely obsessed my friends and i had a party on February 7, 2007 that rocked the house. Above are photographs of the magical event. Everyone was required to come in costume and as you can see, some were more authentic than others but, collectively the night was a smashing success. Anywhooo did anyone catch this weeks episode because i was so confused...

So poor Desmond has to keep saving Charley as many times as he can until the universe course corrects itself????????? WHHAAA???

I fell in Love with Donna all over again

2007-02-10T13:06:00.000-08:00

Yes i went and i saw. On February 4,2007 i indeed saw Wicked with my all time favorite adult Donna Mercer. Seeing it again made me enjoy it even more i new all the words to every song and the entire day was filled with excitement laughter. I actually had a really rough morning that turned into the coolest day ever. I went to church then lady and i rolled hard to B-more. We took a detour and scoped out UMBC. We then went into a colorful Mexican restaurant were everyone taking our order spoke hardcore jive i unfortunately could not interpret their lingo but fortunately Miss i grew up in the ghetto new just what they were trying to get across. We had a wonderful heart-to-heart while eating an all cheese quesadilla and a burrito salad. Then we strolled over to the Theatre were we waited in our matching outfits 3 hours before the show. We were the first in line we filled out a slip of paper with some personal information and we were officially in the ballet. Then we strolled around trying to find a place were we could keep warm for 30 minutes, when we found ourselves face to face with the young woman who played Elphiba (the star) we then took a picture and complimented her on the performance which we had not even seen yet. It was clearly fate that the two of us would later find ourselves winner at the Mercy of an annoying hefty man randomly drawing tickets. We were the third name called. We were so excited we started screaming and hugging strangers. After we regained composer we waited in a Starbucks across the street until it was show time. We took our seats and enjoyed the creative and detailed untold story of the witches of Oz. The only complicating we ran into was when Lady's skirt had a serious static cling malfunction. Don't worry she was able to walk out of the theatre shameless. So all together this roller coaster day was one of the best days of my life.

Wicked.. I think Yes

2007-02-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

Once in the year 2004 i saw the Broadway performance of the Musical Wicked. It was my very first viewing of a Broadway production and i loved it. I have seen shows such as Rent, 12 Angry men, none were as thrilling or moving as Wicked. The cleverly written untold story of the witches of Oz was breath taking. The original star Idina Menzel signed my playbill making the experience even more worth while. Considering i have recently turned 18 my father had the idea to take me to see wicked in Baltimore. That idea was lost because of financial issues until...

The amazing Donna Mercer discovered that on Sundays the Baltimore theatre has a drawling for two tickets for the affordable price of $25. Therefore, tomorrow I'm trying to once again watch the show i love. We're going to church then heading to Baltimore. Here are three reasons why we may win such tickets.
1. The Superbowl also takes place tomorrow allowing less people to be attending.
2. We are going several hours early giving us more opportunities to have our names drawn.
3. we're going to try and win as many times as possible, so if we don't go this weekend the chances of us going another are rather high.

Oh the places

2007-01-25T19:03:00.000-08:00

i am so done with being on the go. This year has been so stressful. I'm ready to stop being hassled and breathe. I have so much to do that i really can only live moment by moment just to maintain sanity. I know it will all work out, i just need peace. I had an awesome time on the Winter Retreat. God really showed up in that get-away weekend. I was laid flat. I'm struggling with the idea that God forgives me, that God forgets our sins after we confess and repent them. The retreat did awesome things for me but later this week i still found myself douting and messing up once again. I want to let go! I'm ready! Hopfully if i remain peacful the things of this world will become less improtant and God can be in the front of my mind. Soon i shall put up some of the magical memories made on the 07 Winter Retreat.

Teen CBS

2007-01-19T05:25:00.000-08:00

Our weekly teen bible study has been such an amazing place. Every week; I grow closer to my core group, we laugh harder at dinner, and learn more about our savior. The time spent at Calvary has been a blessing. Although the past weeks were great this one was remarkable. We heard a really heartfelt testimony, we sang great songs, and the things we talked about in core group were really straight forward.
The testimony really spoke to my heart. The speaker was very honest and on fire for the way God changed him at Summit Lake. I was really moved to hear how someone I thought had always been close to the Lord his whole life, had struggled too. The way God moved him to completely surrender was awesome. After hearing that testimony we worshiped God. I reflected on my own walk and decided to atop waiting to change and do it now. I'm blessed that God speaks to our own hearts through other people.

The Brithday of 18

2007-01-16T08:09:00.000-08:00

On a cold blustery day in January 1989 i was born at 2:30 in the morning. Out of all the cool indoor pool parties and sleepovers to celebrate perivious years this years birthday was by far the coolest yet. These are the events in chronological order at which they occured on the big day.

1. I awoke with Ms. Kimba Maley, Meagahan Yoho, and Lady Donna all in and around my bed. And, to my surprise they brought me cookies and a lovly bagle with butter.
2. I went down to my car to leave for school and the windows were decorated with catch phrases like, "we love you" and "happy 18th." My blue vehical was also filled with ballons and a bunch of really funny birhtday cards filled with poems and inside jokes from Lady and Meg.
3. In first period i found a bag on my desk witha snow globe in it. On each side there was a sweet picture of me and lady and me and Meg.
4. My second period teacher made chocolate brownies for be and another classmate who also shares my special day.
5. In my third period a young man gave ma an uncrustable (AKA the best pb and j under the sun). Then for lunch meg and donna (aka gus and gary) packed me a luch very well decoraded and filled with my favorite snack teates.
6. In forth period gus and gary left my teacher a pair of love socks and two very cool poems coposed by the couple themselves.
7. I had pizza at the Mercers and spent the night at my moms eating the left overs from an amazing icecream cake.

This birthday was full of love and special surprises. I later talked to the Birthday "duo". Donna told me how she was reminded of how christ wants to be in each part of our day and bless us every step of the way. Every class had something kind and personal to do with me. Jesus wants to be envolved personally with me like that everyday. He usually is but i usually miss the blessing. God is so all in life sometimes we can't even see him working and using us. Up top is Michael shortly after we found my sweet ride filled with ballons.

Wedding

2007-01-15T16:35:00.000-08:00

Well, my very cool cosin Kristen just wed on January 6th. Eileen and i were brides maids and my aunt was the maid of honor. We had such a good time. My aunt Brenda (aka mother of the bride) made all the flower arrangments and decorated the Walkersvill fire department. It looked amazing she worked so hard for her daughter. I hope, if i have a child, i do something like that for them. Aunt Brenda made the somewhat small budget sensable wedding look fantastic. i want to be that kind of prioritizer. MP, Hampton, and the rest of my family got down to the cha-cha slide. It was awesome!!

John Mayer is doing something

2006-12-04T12:26:00.000-08:00

Check it out ...

"Waitin' on the world to change"

2006-12-04T12:03:00.000-08:00

John Mayer has a new song about waiting for the bad conditions of the world to change. Perhaps he should do something instead of write a song about it. He should take action. Hasn't he ever heard...
The smallest change can make all the difference
Come on John feed a homeless man.
I think if he is waiting on the world to change its going to be a long wait. He should give blood or to something to contribute to the message he is so desperate to project. That's what confuses me about some musicians, they have some powerful message or belief so they write a song about it. That's all good but, how many of them actually do something about it? I think its cool to write music for the purpose of inspiration but why not take action also.
I just did some research and it looks like John has done something to help his problem of the world not changing...
check it out

I'm a blogtard

2006-11-24T07:53:00.000-08:00

I feel like a waste of bloggin' space. I can't ever seem to hold onto an idea long enough to get back to my computer and write about it. I rarely find the time to sit down and actually type. I guess these blog defects of mine will slowly wear off as I continue this adventure, but nonetheless I need to write stuff down when I have the idea to blog about it.

TA TA for now

I finally got back on

2006-11-16T21:12:00.000-08:00

I am a very stupid young lady. I got this little blog then completely forgot my user name. I had to change it so many times because there are so many Ashleys on blogger my name had to be extravagant. im pumped that my grad project was a success thank you again to all those who helped ans supported me. i couldn't have done it without you. The play is going extremely well. Opening night went splendidly. Im very excited to see Erika this weekend she knows me so well its crazy. Jaime Torrance if your out there I only have one question...

where's Mr. Bee????

Day One

2006-11-09T13:29:00.000-08:00

well...
blogging...
an interesting activity I have yet to fully understand. I feel incredibly sick so my first entry shall remain short and sweet. Graduation Project commences in 48 hours. I can wait until the planning and the crazy busyness that is me ends. I am most thrilled to be once more learning the magical ways of the piano. I was most recently reminded of the beauty of friendship. It made me see how God gives us a heart to love one another and we can even begin to understand his love for us.