Doctors

These guys are everywhere this one was in the bathroom at 5:30 this morning...fun


I'm still sick, but today I was able to go to this free missionary doctor. She told me I have a bacterial infection in my stomach. She gave me some antibiotics after a 5 hour wait. I thought I forgot how to speak because I sat there silent the whole time. It was actually kind of nice to just "be" read old magazines and sit. I didn't take notes or have to spend time with someone on the base, I sat. I spent the lunch hour fasting and praying for Michael. I got to talk with him for the first time since I left. I really miss him and we had a really good talk. We prayed together. I'm so happy about that I could scream. He's awesome. I'm going back to Mandeville this coming week for Local Outreach. My small team is working at a Veterans home, an orphanage, a school, and just walking the streets picking up trash and talking to people. I'm nervous about my team. we have some conflicting relationships and it could get messy. I'm glad it's going to be challenging, that means more growing. I wen to Nagril this passed week. It was fun but I also witnessed a stabbing. I'm realizing how different life off the base is, and growing more thankful for my guard dogs and barbed wire fences...

This week

So Mandeville is really fun. The base is up in the hills away from town. It’s so peaceful and quiet unlike Mo bay. I fall asleep listening to the breeze instead of loud reggae or the occasional gunshot. We went to the coolest church this morning. The congregation was young but really insightful. Most of the churches in Jamaica do a lot of screaming, but this one was very sober and fun. I felt more relax and less distracted during worship. The most adorable kids were there so afterwards the other girls and I passed babies around. On the way to and from church some of us road in the back of a pickup truck through the country. The land is so lush and green here. The dirt in Mandeville is red its used to make aluminum so there’s a lot of mining. After church we headed out for a walk to a small farming community. So many people live in shacks held together by wire and bamboo. We saw amazing plant life. Its pretty peaceful here, good for getting all my bookwork done…

Monday October 13, 2008
Today is my one month anniversary to Jamaica. I can’t believe how much has happened in this short amount of time. This experience is flying by. We talked about generational sin and how the mistakes we make affect our children and other relatives. I’ve been looking at the trends in my family and it’s scary. Every generation has the choice to follow the example, weather good or bad, set before them by parents and other influences. I’ve been recognizing the sin I’ve chosen to follow and the sin God has helped me conquer or stand against.
My work duties are not kitchen work here, which is a nice change. This base was also once a plantation so they have an amazing great house. For two hours yesterday we moved all this scrap wood. That evening we sat on top of the great house, sang songs, and stared at the full moon. Sometimes I actually “look” at creation. I see the Lord and all He has made. I was thinking about how I could ever want for anything when all I need is right in front of me. I love praising through the beauty he gave us on earth.

Tuesday October 14, 2008
Today we learned all about healing and being cleansed and choosing to believe the truth and not the lies about ourselves. Someone back home kept telling me to love myself and they were so right. My problem was not accepting God’s forgiveness or even the forgiveness of others who know some of my darkest trespasses, but forgiving myself, freeing myself from my own judgments and acts of self hatred. I was being so hard on myself that I stopped loving anything about me. I did and still do hate some aspects of my personality, looks, and situations. I’m learning to embrace who He created me to be. I realized I was dishonoring Him and mocking Him by being negative to myself aka, His creation.

Wednesday October 15
So class was cool I felt really sick earlier but I think I’m just stressed. I have three plays to write, two books I’m reading at the same time, and a schedule with very little and sometimes no free time. We met after class last night and played a game where everyone was in a circle and handed 4 close pins each. We were then given the sinario that we were all on a ship and the boat was going down and we each could only pick 4 people to survive in the life boat with only 4 seats. We had to go in front of every person and tell them weather we chose for them to be granted life or death. It was interesting because we could discus why or why not we choose different people. In the end the 4 people with the most pins were seated on 4 chairs on the stage. Somehow I was on of the four. The other people were parents and another student. Those who didn’t make it into the boat were asked to lay down and imagine they had died so the 4 of us could survive. Then they had to share what they would have their tomb stone read. This exercise was so intense. Being someone who was granted life really made me think again about how I dislike myself and how sinful that is. God created me for life and I was reminded of that when 15 other Christians voted to give me life, they thought I was worthy and I would live a life worthy of all their deaths. If they feel that way, how much more does God value my life? Sweetly Broken…CHECK!

Thursday October 16,
Class was full of intense discussion. We talked about spiritual warfare and what things of the enemy or what ways do we open up for him to move in. We discussed yoga, Harry Potter, Idol masks, music, tattoos, witchcraft, Halloween, est. I found it hard because if we take something and look at it as just a book, or exercise we don’t necessarily become a satanic worshiper. I know Harry Potter is just a book, I also know that witchcraft is a sin or Occult practice. I don’t read or watch Harry Potter and give way to witchcraft; I don’t do yoga and worship the sun god, I simply exercise. I am aware now of the dangers in things like that. We were given the idea of praying that God would only reveal His goodness in those things and that he would remove the sin in them. I don’t feel convicted about Harry Potter; it’s just a book to me. I guess I’m trying to say, the Holy Spirit’s conviction is really important. I just don’t appreciate someone telling me to remove myself from things that are not completely of God, church isn’t even completely of God, and everything is going to be imperfect in this world. We are not in Heaven. I will not yoke myself to the origins of yoga. I will exercise that way and focus on scripture. I think it really depends on the person in most situations, but now that attention has been brought to my life about what is evil; I’m responsible for anything Satan has twisted.
We went to work duties and cut down shrubs and jungle plant life in the holy hole, which is a spot in the forest where we are having a bonfire tomorrow night. It was awesome to use a machete on the wild plant life. The Mandeville site is really rustic compared to Mo Bay our room is kind of like the orphanage with all 9 girls in one room. It looks just like Annie’s.
After class I got really sick. My head was pounding, my right arm was tingling, and my stomach was in terrible pain. I vomited and cried. I confessed battles I had been fighting in my head. My spirit and body were in terrible pain. Some of my darkest issues came to light. I know I’ve been forgiven I just never dealt with the feelings and consequences of my mistakes. I accept God has forgiven me, but I need to be transformed by the renewal of my mind. I just kept obsessing over my problems, instead of facing them and moving on. I know this process is going to be slow. It’s a daily choice and daily struggle. Praise God for this difficult time and ask Him to restore me.

Friday October 17
I still feel sick. My heart is heavy. But, God is good. I know he’ll be changing me and helping me to cope with my heartache. I have such a comforting group of leaders. They read to me, prayed over me, gave me medicine, listened to my confession, had compassion and understanding towards, held my hair back when I got sick. I am surrounded by strong caring women of God that look on me with love. If they can accept, forgive, and want to help heal me, how much more does the Father want to restore me? I give thanks for this safe place of recovery. Throughout this week we have written sin down on small pieces of paper. Tonight we will have a bonfire and destroy these hindrances. I want this symbolic act to strengthen me on the path to His righteousness.

ok friends

I'm going to the other ywam base this week to do some cleaning and restoring. The base is very low in staff so we're going to work for the week. I talked to Meaghan for 3 seconds last night, but it was so good. I miss my friends. This week was awesome our speaker was by far my favorite; so real and deep. I'm reading Narnia. I have ten toes. I'm still alive. Last night I went to town with three other girls. We got a very sketchy cab driver. We were all very nervous so I asked him if we could sing him a song. It was quite hilarious; 4 white girls singing a Latin song to a Rastafarian. Pretty random but pretty awesome. I miss fall and the leaves changing and wearing a light jacket. Hope the Lord is strong in your heart today...

yikes.

We're learning about forgiveness. It's amazing. I'm realizing so many good things. Our speaker this week is great. Hes living with the love of Christ in him. We've just finished watching this move, "Dead man Walking" it is really intense, but it tells a beautiful story of forgiveness and how hatred eats away at us. Susan Surandon plays a nun how consuls a man convicted of rape and murder. The film captures Christ love and represents his children well. It is very emotional and rated R so I caution any interested. I'm inspired to really love and accept and forgive. God is revealing a lot of my ignorance this week conserning My relationships with others, and how I thought things were good because I was simply telling myself I had forgiven them instead of actually doing it. That sounded confusing, but I hope you understand. Jesus IS.
One love,
ashley

Uper Fun Day!

Today was just what i needed. We went to this off road beach and swam for two hours. It was so great to soak in the sun and eat ice cream. I was happy to be simple and quiet. I'm loving this place and this time. I talked to Erika and shes doing so well, answered prayer! I can't believe it's only been three weeks, I'm ready for 4 to start.

A Long Week...

So i was really stretched thin this week. We were really busy and our speaker Gayle was not my style. She was very emotional and almost rude, so it made listening to Gods hard truth come out of her difficult. In the end i was challenged, but it took a lot for me to understand her. We talked about the fear of the Lord and how its the reverence or respect for Gods power. We discussed having a pure heart and ways to discover if your heart is pure, and how pride leads to rebellion, and rebellion disbelief. We had about 4 extra hours of class this week so I'm really tired. Having all this information in my brain was just not fun. It hurt, it was messy, and heartbreaking. I have a lot to deal with before I can move on. I'm happy all this happened so early in dts. The sooner the better. I need to, in the words of my loving father, "dump my junk" It's time to leave the doubt, fear, self loathing, and attention seeking at the cross. I also needs to stop making generalized apologies. If I'm not convicted of a specific issue I'm not saying sorry. feeling wrong for nothing is condemnation and only come from evil. It's been hard but tonight is the welcome party for the performing arts students. I really want to do the art school. I've also been approached 3 times about staffing here. I'm open to whatever, just waiting on direction. I can't wait for the healing I'm already experiencing, and the joy of being clean to increase. Did you know that blood is a cleaning agent. It creates a White spot after its wiped away, very cool.

A Lot

I'm looking through my note book trying to find out what interesting fact to share with my loved ones... ok got it.

Ways God Speaks
He's the voice behind you Isaiah 30;21
Dreams and visions acts 2; 17
Audible Voice 1 Samuel 3; 1-10
The written Word Psalms 119; 105
Gifts of the spirit 1 Corinthians 12
Preaching of the Word Romans 10; 13-14
Animals Numbers 22;28

These are just a couple of examples as to how our Loving Father makes His plans known to us. I'm loving class and expanding my knowledge of the One. I'm really considering a bible college. I'm feeling the need to get through the whole word with in depth study. I'm trying to hear where God wants me on outreach and still no indication has come. I'm not stressing out because I know I'll be used anywhere, but it is still important to know from Him because when it gets hard I'll want to be reminded that i was supposed to be there. I want to be regret free and totally confident in his calling.

I was blown away by Johns blog. It really means the World to me that the Lord is and has been using me.

To those at home, I want to tell you. Yes, I'm here where and my whole day is scholastically focused on God and serving Him. I'm learning and growing, but just because your still at work, school, home, or wherever does not mean Hes doing more work in me than in you. The Kingdom is near. I don't mean to sound rude, just encouraging you that the Lord is working in you too. Jamaica or Maryland, God is using.

YWAM has a photography school, a performing Arts school, and Bible school. So many doors please pray.



Compassion
Kindness
Humility
Gentleness
Patients Colossians 3; 5-17

So I'm really excited about school. We have been placed into groups and we are going to all act out a chapter from Philippians then perform it in a park during our outreach time in Mo Bay and our other outreach time. I can't wait. i think the main point of Philippians chapter 4 is rejoicing and contentment. We have to learn to be happy whether hungry or well feed. it's cool we read that today because we were fasting today so I was really hungry, then God reminded me that my food is his will and the price has been paid and therefore, rejoicing is in order. I'm learning so much and doing so much. I think this weekend my dts mates and I are going to Nagril! I think I'm going to jump off the cliff! But, probably not cuz it took me like ten minutes to jump off that stupid platform at Cascade lake so chances of me making it off a cliff are slim, but who knows I'm kinda crazy... I miss my people and can't wait to see them. I also was told today that my hair is that of someone half white and half black! yes! almost there.

Romans 12;9-20

Truth

Today we did some street chillin'. Hanging out with the people and spreading the light. I raced with these kids in the park and held this woman's baby and ate sugarcane, which was gross, but cool. I love the way we learn and do here. I know I've already talked about that, but it's such a healthy way to grow. we get t o explore the town and enjoy the beauty! I also really want to be in the performing arts school. You learn dance, an instrument, song writing, vocals, play writing, miming, and theatre. i also learned that my dts counts towards about 21 college credits. I think with that in mind I'll be praying more about what could be next and be sure of where hes calling. I'm really excited about the next week because were actually starting the lecture phase of school. Dave Alexander gave the truth sermon and tomorrow were continuing. We talked about the lies we've chosen to believe and our reasons for doing so. I think it's easier to believe lies sometimes. I get down on myself and just stay down it's so hard sometimes to remember that He has won the victory and we are clean. I really miss home and i want to see my dad. God is good, all the time God is good.

Last night I had dinner with the married staff members Jenny and Aaron, they remind me a lot of Davey and Jill, I miss them too...

The Last three Days

September 18
Good News! Today they announced that our field assignment will be in; Guadalupe, The Bahamas, or Antique/S.t. Kitt. We are not told where to go we will be praying over these places for the next two weeks, then sharing what the Lord has spoken. Please pray for me in this, I really have no clue. I don’t know much about these places so I’m worried I might just pick. I am scared I won’t be listening just guessing. I know God is going to use me anywhere, but it’s important I’m confident in the place I go.
Today we shared testimonies all day. It was really exhausting but freeing. I told these eleven strangers parts of my life that had been in the dark for a long time. The Lord is restoring and shepherding. I was so encouraged to here about everyone’s own journey to dts and their stories of faith. I am surrounded by committed people who also desire God to be first, and dts is what that looked like for all of us. How neat that God would have this select and willing group together to grow in our knowledge and love for Jesus together. Oh, cool fact there are twelve students here, twelve disciples, very significant eh?
Tonight we’re going to the YWAM Caribbean overseer’s house for some brownies and fellowship. I just found out they have a trampoline so I’m going to show off my cheer-skills. Really wow the crowd, ya know?! Anyway, blessing and thanksgivings I send home! Sleep well!

September 19
Today we learned all about Jamaica and its brutal history. We also learned all about the Rastafarian's and what they actually believe. It’s very complicated but basically they worshiped a man from Ethiopia and thought he was the actual Christ. The think that Jesus was a prophet but usually associate the name as a slave ship that brought Africans into Jamaica for slavery. They thought that Haley Salasie was the true son of God. I’m sorry if my Lord we’re in Ethiopia I’d be in Ethiopia, but most Rasta’s were in Jamaica, weird. It made me rethink my bob Marley music taste and understand some lyrics I had been questioning. That was an abbreviated version, but the main idea.

So we had a welcome home party tonight that was amazing. We played all these fun games and had a Jamaican Banquet. The food is really unique but not my style, too much starch! We had a dance party afterwards, there are a lot of cool reggae Christian artist, and many reformed Rasta’s!! The music is so fresh and full of life! I learned signature moves like, gully creeper, and the sweep, and heel toe, the Jamaicans told me I was pretty good and asked me where I learned to dance like them! I felt pretty accepted because some people on the base were a bit standoffish too me but loosed up last night, very nice. I also got cornrows, it was ridiculous.

September 20, 2008
Today I got up and cooked for and hour then feed the homeless at a shelter. I love ywam. We learn and we do. The people were a little scary, but God allowed me to speak John 4; 34 to them. I told them that Jesus gave them this meal, but his word and will are our true nourishment. They took pretty well to me and it was humbling to sit and talk with them. I met this one crazy woman who was really out of it. She told me her name was Monica then asked me about my bracelets. I told her about my people and the reasons I wore them, she really liked this orange, brown, and yellow one I had from forever ago. I put it on randomly before I left for no reason. On the plane I asked myself why I was wearing it and I guess it was for Monica. She gave me a string from her coat and we prayed together. How cool? I of course will wash the bracelet then wear it with pride! We went to another shelter and I made friends with this guy named Alvin. He said he wanted to write me and ask me questions about God. I’m not really sure what to expect, but yeah we’ll see. We prayed with them and then ran through downtown handing out meals to anyone who looked hungry. Seeing the kids starving stirred up something in me. I am certain this is my call in ministry right now. I’m really blessed by the work God is doing in this city. It’s breaking to see people with no home praise God for the little things they do have.
We went to the beach and met up with the rest of the students because the street feeding was optional and only 5 of us felt called to run around with Marion. The beach was amazing you have to pay $2.50 and it was worth it. We could watch the airplanes come in on these water trampolines and I swam about 30 feet down with my snorkel. The fish are see-through and the coral looks amazing. It was so nice to swim in God’s creation and give thanks for the blessed morning with his people. We had pizza Hut for lunch which really hit the spot and I had a Pepsi for the first time, soo good. It was a nice bit of home. I have to go finish hand washing my clothes and reading my book! God is good, God is always good.

New Stuff

So I love the base director her name is Marion and she is really cool. Today we got our first assignment and briefing for our classwork. we were all assigned a partner that works on the staff, and a YWAM foundational value. The goal is to put a debate together that proves why we believe our value is the most important. Lucky for me I got the first value; KNOW GOD. I think I've got this in the bag. I have to dress up and share my three minute presentation in front of the whole base. Here are my supporting reasons why Knowing God is the first and most important YWAM value...

Psalm 105; 9
"Give thanks to the Lord call on his name; make known what he has done"
we can't make our God known unless we know him first

James 2; 17
"faith by itself if not accompanied by action is dead"
Yes, we are called to DO, but we can't step out into action unless we have faith/knowledge

Philippians 3; 8
What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of KNOWING Christ Jesus my lord for whose sake I have lost all things, I consider them rubbish that I might gain Christ.
All is worthless without the Knowledge of Him, our good works are nothing without the heart of a servant allowing our Lord to work through us.

If we Know God and continue to further our knowledge all the other amazing YWAM values will come into place. If we know him we want to be hospitable, and hear his voice, and make disciples of all nations. We have to get it so we can give it. We first learn of his great sacrifice before we live it.

Love. Mercy. hope.

First Monday

September 15,
So today we had to get up at 6 and have breakfast, and then we had worship service. At worship we met the entire staff for this ywam campus. The people here are extremely nice. The staff gathered around the 12 of us students and prayed over us. I felt so at home because my people circle around me in Maryland too. They prayed for us to hear God, to understand his calling in each of our hearts, and they gave thanks for our willingness to leave home and seek Him.
Then we went with our dts leaders; Eric and Alice, to the front gate of the base. We all took a small piece of paper and wrote down sin that we needed to confess. We prayed alone and then gathered at the foot of a wooded cross, there we burned the pieces of paper and prayed for forgiveness and if we felt lead we could confess anything we were okay with sharing. It was raw and touching to share our sin nature with one another. I did not share, but my friend Sandra was suffering from something similar to me and she shared. God has really been bringing me closer to her these passed three days. We have a lot of fun together and I love learning about the German culture and sharing Americas with her.
After the confessing we went into the worship hall and finished paper work for our visa for our field assignment and flights home. Oh, Thanks dad for printing a copy off my return flight information, once again I couldn't be here without your help!!!! I picked up my books and bought a drumstick, which was my first taste of home because Jamaican food is kind of weird. My girl Alice and the director of YWAM Mo Bay had a meeting with me earlier. They prayed for God to teach me and use my gentle heart. They read me things that the Lord had laid on there heart for me before I arrived. They read me scripture and told me how God created me to lift up others…Wow. Already an amazing day and I haven’t eaten lunch yet. I miss my people but I’m carrying them with me in my paradise.

Oh we have a memory verse each week so I thought I’d let you guys know what I was learning.
Habakkuk 2; 2-3
Then the Lord replied; write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets, so that a herald may run with it. The revelation awaits the appointed time. It speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger; wait for it, It will not delay and is coming.

I send you all Love. Love. Love.

Oh also some random things; I’m not a person that sweats a lot, but here I walk ten feet and half to change shirts, so yeah it’s really hot and humid. Also at worship we learned this really cool song. The chorus goes,”a ma mi daddhi Oh, a ma mi daddhi O” it means He is my Father. I loved it. I’m about to go on a scavenger hunt of the beach town so until next time.
Peace.

Made It.

I woke up, repacked, left my passport at home, cried, laughed, ate breakfast with Denny, received 3 special last minute gifts, and made it safely. The clouds looked so majestic from the plane, it looked like kingdom. I am so blessed and so happy here thus far. I got off the plane and headed to immigration. I had to prove why I was in Jamaica then meet a YWAM rep out side. My flight landed early so I just wondered outside for 30 minutes and it was fine, but I had to tell about 80 sketchy cab drivers that I would not need their services. Then, Alice was there! She is a dts staff member and an awesome stylish British girl. She put me in her truck and we drove off through the beach town and up to campus. I told her how i came to Jamaica and how Jesus had clearly pointed me her. I told her about all the love surrounding me back home and the affirmation I'd been granted. It cool how other believers understand me, how they know exactly what kind of love and support I'm talking about. Alice made me feel very at home and welcome. At ywam we pray whenever we leave and enter the base. So Alice prays and we unloaded.
The first person I met was Sandra. She's from Germany but was born in Switzerland so her first language is Swiss-German. Sandra is really sweet and dear she says cute catch phrases when shes trying to articulate with English words. Every other minute she goes, "uuhh how you say..." it's interesting. Hannah arrived next she's from PA so we connect over everything. Larissa is from Canada, and loves ice hokey. I old her Canada was basically America just better health care. The four of us explored campus and walked off base last night which was not a good idea because Jamaicans drive like their crazy. Later that night we hung out with Erin and his family. His wife and him are staff members and they have two adorable children, Malachi 3, and Ezra 1. I'm really happy their are little kids here I might not miss Jason so terribly.
I swam in the Caribbean today. I had my goggles on and saw about 15 feet down I also scraped my foot on a rock and bleed neon blood for a good ten minutes. I'm okay but I then repeatedly stubbed the wound. No hospital trips yet, but have no fear I'm sure it's coming. I also found out that my out reach has been changed to somewhere in the Caribbean. I guess I'm not going to Africa after all which is disappointing but God is going to use me regardless so who cares where I go? Selena Mildred and Shauna lee arrived today they are all Jamaican and they've been teaching me slang. wahguan me doops means, whats up friends. I can't wait to learn about this great place. The view from my room is outrageous. Mo bay is beauty. Thanks for reading even though it's sporadic and grammatically poor. I love you guys...Here are some pictures.

Sueprise!! ahhhh I am so LOVED.

Well, I was happy with a great farewell morning at church and some Starbucks with my mom today, little did I know what excitement laid ahead of me. After coffee my mom and i came home she wasn't feeling well so she laid down for a nap and I posted the blog entry directly below this one. All of a sudden, she busted into my room saying that someone from church had been in a terrible accident and many people were going to meet at the church to pray. I got up, changed clothes, and ran to the car. My mom was crying on the way over and I was trying to calm her down even though I was very nervous to find out who had been hurt or even killed. I came into the church expecting tears and bowed heads when what I got was a ton of people who love me shouting "surprise". I was so confused, wasn't someone dead? no. I was shocked and a little upset. I would have rather gone to Church with a different mind set than, "someone is gone and God's going to use it for good" but nonetheless I was surprised.
My Aunt Brenda and cousin Kristen set up a lovely arrangement turning our plain church into a tropical paradise. They had a cake with flowers, volleyball, slide show of my life, heart breaking speeches, Jesus music, useful gifts, amazing hugs, and most importantly people who love me and trust that the Lord is making his will done in my life. I have been filled with the love and grace of the savior through those he has placed in my path. My heart is going to explode! Thank you everyone for the best party ever.

Prayed Up!

Hello all! I have only 6 days left here in the U.S.A. I could not have asked for more love an support as I step out into this journey of faith. Today at church the congregation laid hands on my and prayed for the love our our lord Jesus to be demonstrated through me,the grace of our Lord has brought me to this excited and life changing time. I'm overwhelmed with joy. after church, I was prayed over again by a close family friend and I could feel the Love of Christ pouring out of her heart over me. I can't wait to See what God is going to do not only to me and my mission but to my home and my community. I am loved and forgiven and ready for this next chapter in life...

Please be prayinh for the people in Jamaica; my teachers, classmates, the political leaders, the government, the children, and the weather. I know God is moving and preparing me for this time away from almost all that I know, it's time to see who I am regardless of my enviornment.

Yup Yup Yup leaving soon!

A little preview of the paradise.






Hi, I guess, wow I'm really terrible at blogging. Anyhow, I just bought my ticket to Jamaica. As most of you know I'm heading out in the fall. I depart at approximately 8:05 am on September the 13th and shall not return home until February 16, 2009 at 10:30 pm. I can't express how excited I am that God has blessed me with this opportunity. Planning has been a very smooth process, with the help of my close friends and family, it looks like everything is coming together nicely. This whole trip was very spontaneous at first and now I'm seeing how it was God's plan all along, like most of us, it just took me forever to realize it or believe that it could happen now.
I need to make a public statement, and if I break the promise I'm about to make at anytime, please feel free to call me and yell at me. While I'm away for 6 months I will most likely not have access to a phone to call home, so with the help of my new camera and the interweb I will blog almost everyday to keep my loved ones posted. If for some ridiculous reason I do not keep my commitment you have my permission to call me out.
Well I'm glad I got that off my chest. I guess this is the end. Please pray for my endeavor and my sanity.

In the one who has all the love,
Atch

F.R.I.E.N.D.S addiction or admiration

My mother Denise and my younger brother Michael have always been huge f.r.i.e.n.d.s fanatics. I myself, have always enjoyed the show but never became quite as enthralled as they were. Although, I'm reaching a point where I need a fix every couple of days. My Aunt Debbie bought the entire series collection so I've been watching it every other night for the last couple of weeks. I can honestly say I Love it. Yes, some of its inappropriate. I've never actually met people that promiscuous before and they do say a strong collection of swear words every now and then. Despite their ungodly lifestyles, the show is ridiculously witty and comedic. I hardly believe its that legitimately funny. I always watch trying to find the slightest repeat of a joke, but the sarcasm form these six characters kills me.I love how random yet entirely true some of the humor is. In one episode, Rachel puts a tie in Chandlers mouth to keep him quiet and he just looks back at her and spits it out. I always watch movies were someone has a sock or something put in their mouth to keep them quie. The funny part is they struggle as though the sock or tie is duck taped to their face. I always wonder (like most people)why don't they just spit it out. And, of course f.r.i.e.n.d.s would actually have someone realize the situation and spit it out. I know that sounds really confusing, I'm trying to point out how witty and comedic the topics on f.r.i.e.n.d.s are. The only real set back is most of the tragic situations are predictable. You know if someone is really excited about what they are about to eat it will end up on the floor or in Joeys mouth. Well rereading this blog I noticed how I sound like a freak, but that's okay I am falling in love with f.r.i.e.n.d.s, so its okay.

I'll be there for you.

hi.

I am hanging by the feet of God. This passed week has been incredibly stressful. Yet, at the same time beautiful. I'm more motivated than ever to "do." I have been emptied over and over again and yes, it has been painful but necessary. I have a pretty set schedule but I've been able to make changes so I can visit my friends. I'm looking forward to my trip to college park this weekend. I've heard my fair share of horror stories about that campus but i think I'll survive. Jake Goldberg will protect me from the dangers. I also am very excited for Saturday night live (first baptist church of green valley style). Every 5th Saturday of a month my church performs skits from the show. It's always a wicked good time and I'm trying to bring friends and get some visitors involved. If that interests you let me know and I'll come pick you up, wherever you live. I'm also not excited about my UMCP trip because my buds Megan and Teddy are coming home. I've already made my plans so I'll have to run into them another time. Hey dad, I love you and I promise to do the laundry after work today. Yesterday I gave my first speech and it went great. I actually wrote a monologue and performed it. Acting has really helped in Public Speaking I'm defiantly ahead of the game. God really revealed himself through my best friend Erika. She is searching and growing and falling more in love with the creator daily. The love she is developing is truly an encouragement to my personal walk. It's so funny that her and I always seem to be struggling at the same time. I'm blessed I have a best friend that is so easy to love and wants to learn more about the Lord. She is an excellent example of God drawling people to His greatness. I think I also have a new accountability group and I know that's going to change my life. Sometimes we need other believers that we can share some of the details only the father hears. I would encourage anyone who reads this to find a trustworthy friend who you can be accountable to. I've needed to let go and God has given me peace that the process is already starting. I know this has been an incredibly random pile of thoughts with no paragraphs, but I'm glad I'm starting to hop back aboard the blogging train.

keep on keepin' on...

Against My Will

Here’s the thing, no, I don't hate to blog, yes, and I haven't for a really long time. Please I don't hate the blogging community I’m just a busy girl and slightly unmotivated. I went to Colorado for a mission trip called city reach from June 9th to the 15th. I've been on two other trips with the city reach organization and never has it made me more excited for the moments when the holy spirit leads you to share the good news. I'll tell the world more later right now im at the coffee house having to fulfill my promise I made to blog. I feel rude with people performing their art in front of me and I have my face buried in Paul’s Mac. In the name of kindness and common courtesy I must go...

Hey Katie!

Good Night!

Here is Mary Eileen celebrating her seventy third birthday with friends and family at the Peterman house. I know, she was a cutie!

this entry shall be large and in charge. In charge of what? I don't know but still large. Well this last Tuesday my grandmother Mary Eileen Guilday passed away. I'm sure anyone reading this knows that. It was very cool, sad, and, crazy. Cool because she had been suffering so long and her recovery would have been painful. Also cool because shes with Jesus she no longer will wonder or fell pain, shes worshiping the king for all eternity which makes me tickled. Sad because she was loved and a wonderful example for her family and friends. Crazy because throughout all the strife in my family peace has been made. Stupid arguments that happened at Christmas's and family events gone by don't matter. God is uniting my family and showing all of us what really matters and what are hearts need to be fixed on. I am so blessed to have been their when she left this earth. My dad has been so bold and so strong through this whole process you can see the living god leading him through prayer and love. I have more respect for him than i could have ever imagined. God is using and blessing the Guilday family so i thank you readers for your prayer and concern. I have had amazing friends to lean on and hug on during this transition period. Thank you.