Crazy Week

It’s been crazy. On Saturday we went to a local Radio station and shared about YWAM. We were all interviewed and gave short testimonies about how we were brought to
Guadeloupe. Our show was only supposed to be a 30 minute segment but it lasted for an hour and a half! I think we did a great job of answering questions and representing the Kingdom! We even sang a few songs. I think the station is making us a copy of the show, which will be cool to hear. It’s so weird to hear your voice recorded, I sound so much cooler in my own mind then on recordings.

Later tonight we are going out again to feed people. We’ve prepared 30 salami and cheese sandwiches with; juice, cookies, candy, and a banana. We wanted to give a modest amount of food, while still filling stomachs. I think some of the people in the city are starting to recognize us. More and more people ask us about what were doing every time we go out.

We had to do and inductive bible study this week. We had to pick a chapter from one of the four gospels and present it to the team. We had to find a key word, verse, and paragraph. We also had to identify literal and figurative language, ask any questions we had about the chapter, show how we can apply what we learned to our lives, and present a creative expression. I loved dong this. I read all these commentaries and gained so much from this assignment. I’m' sharing on Matthew 15. I created a rap and I'm doing a dance to a Josh Garrels song (big surprise) it is so funny that I'm dancing. I don't think I would have ever done it before, but throughout my dts I've been worshiping more and more through this creative form. I'm a dork, but I know the Lord likes it!

Tomorrow we are going to pray and see where God leads us for the day. I really enjoy doing this; it reminds me of the "special opps" team I was in during my churches annual mission trip last year. We just get in the car and find ways to bless.

I can't believe I'll be 20 in two days. It seems so weird. I don't think 20 is old. I just never imagined I'd be celebrating in Gwada (that’s slang for Guadeloupe).

Yesterday I was able to have some alone time with the Lord. It’s hard to sit and think in silence around here. I enjoy living in community, but the quiet is so good for my soul. I appreciate it so much more now that its such a rare thing in my lie.

Well I think I'm going to go on a walk. Please pray that I stop thinking about home. I'll be there soon enough. I've been having dreams that I'm back, it’s nice, but I need to be Here Now.

Jeremiah 29; 11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"

Praise The Lord

Well, so munch has gone on so I guess I’ll start wherever I want. This is my blog so if I don't follow perfect chronological order, that’s just how it is.

One of my team members is battling with temptation. He has been struggling for quite a while and he publicly confessed last week. We are all praying that God would show us the next steps to take, whether he stays and receives counseling from our leader, or he goes back to Montego Bay to complete his outreach and get some counseling by the leaders there. This is a very delicate situation, which is why specific details are not important. Please be praying. We are all confident that this will be handled in the appropriate way.

Today we spent the morning praying and asking God what we should do for ministry in the evening. Another student and I both shared Matthew 10; 7-8, "As you go, preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, and cleanse those who have leprosy, [b] drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give." So we then decided to go into the city. We then came up with the idea of handing out candies with Jeremiah 29;11, which says," For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. We really are having a hard time coming up with ministry that doesn’t have to do with talking because only one person knows enough French to testify, so we've been spending a lot of time giving. I'm really enjoying this. So many people gave for me to be able to come here and give to Guadeloupe. It rings true when the scripture says, “freely you have received, freely give" I'm blessed to follow this. It is wonderful to make someone smile. Not only are we sharing the Word and giving, we are being blessed. It proves to me that God wants to see us happy. We are filled with Joy when others are provided for, so how happy does that make the Lord? I would guess very happy indeed! While we were out I gave a girl in a bright yellow shirt a candy. About an hour after we handed all the Candy out she appreciated us. She really liked what we were doing she had been interested in Christianity and just recently started reading her bible. Luckily Sandra was there and they had a 20 minute conversation. It turns out that they both have a lot in common and this young woman wants to spend time with us and ask questions. This is a great picture of discipling. We can't wait to share and her from her. Her mane is Serena. We were very blessed God encouraged us this way.

Tonight we are worshiping this year into the next. My friends and I are coming up with a New Years (Weekly) resolution book. We are thinking about 52 unique ways to bless others once a week for 2009 we will do something nice.

I'm feeling restless here. I know things are being done, but I want to do more. I'm getting caught up in activities and planning instead of resting in the Lord, which I understand to be another term for trusting Him. I know outreach is not about doing what we think is actually work, but doing the work the Lord shows us. My passion is to see people disciple, to see people saved. I need patients.

I think Mediating is a way God wants to use me in my family. I have several relatives that are not getting along with each other. Deep and powerful relationships have now become dead. I was up last night crying for the disunity between them. I asked God to use me in this situation not from a humanitarian viewpoint, but out of His desire for peace among my family. I don’t know if this is something I might be called to do for the rest of my life, but my heart breaks for my loved ones on God’s behalf. I know great things could be done through my unique and exciting family, on both my mother’s and father’s sides of the family. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I get home. I’m going to continue asking the Lord what to do, but something is going to happen. His peace will be experienced.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

The last week has been more productive for my team and I. We spent a few days rapping journals with verses in them and delivering them to the director’s neighborhood. We gave away book marks that had scripture and information about the house church that the base runs. We pray that people would contact Samuel (the director) and that the books would be a blessing and the scripture in the books would change people and help us gain understanding of God. Its really fun giving things away! On Christmas eve we went to the mall (which was crazy) and handed out chocolate with Luke 2; 13-14 Fear not, for I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a savior, which is Christ the Lord. Then on Christmas Eve we received a huge blessing… Two weeks ago my team lead a church service and while we were mingling with people afterward, my friend Tam mentioned to one man that she really loved pineapple. So on Christmas Eve this nice man had no one to spend the Holiday with, so he came over with five large pineapples and a Christmas ham. We were going to have cold pizza, but he blessed us with a feast and we blessed him with fellowship. It was so kind and thoughtful. I don’t know why he and Tam were discussing pineapple two weeks earlier, but God used it to bless. I was so privileged to encourage this man and to give him company. After we ate, we decorated our meeting room and made a lovely Christmas setting we had a giant palm Christmas tree and fun balloons and posters. We made a Christmas living room in about 20 minutes; we read part of the Christmas story, and shared songs. We really like singing in a round so we sang “God rest ye merry Gentlemen” in two groups and it didn’t sound that bad! Later we exchanged favorite Christmas memories. One of my favorite Christmas memories was when my brother and I got a huge Trampoline and my dad set in up on Christmas morning in the snow so we could jump on it that day. He was really sick with a high fever and he still went out, for hours, and built it for us. I also loved the Christmas Eve dinners at Grandma Ethel’s old house. All of my family would be there eating and exchanging gifts. My brother and I would wear our matching pajamas and spend time with the family. It was always so loud and busy and right after we ate we all were itching to run down stairs and start opening gifts. It was such an exciting night. I also love when my mom would bake cookies with us all day, we’d set up the tree and dance to Christmas music1 My friends shared some of there Christmas bests and then we headed off to bed.
The next morning we cooked a large breakfast, sang songs, and finished the Christmas story! We opened our secret Santa gifts and prayed together! It really felt like Christmas. Even though I was sweating to death and sun burnt, the Christmas/Holy spirit was upon us. Later we had an interpretive dance party. Tam and I danced to; “Have a holy Jolly Christmas” we did pretty well. Its on video, maybe I’ll be brave enough to post it on facebook… We cleaned and packed thirty dinners. Later in the evening we went into the city and handed out the meals to the homeless. I had been feeling sad about missing Christmas at home, but when we were serving food I was overwhelmed with Gods peace. I knew I was where he wanted me and I was so happy to be there. We talked and prayed with a few men and just gave food. While we were driving we practically threw a sandwich at guy standing on a corner, he took the meal and smiled. Making someone smile does something crazy in my heart, mind, and spirit. I was crying because this man was blessed, how much happier did that make God? Not only was that man blessed by the meal, I was also. God loves to see us Joyful and we experience true joy when we bring it to others. I was so blessed to celebrate Christmas in this way and I want giving like this to be a tradition for Christmas, and more of a daily practice. We may not speak the language, but people are smiling in Guadeloupe because of Jesus.

As I was thinking about giving, and it made me remember all the times I was given to; my car, my trip, my friendships, my mentors, my church… All those who have supported me, prayed for me, and loved me are receiving the blessing of this ministry. I’m seeing people fed and giving because people gave to me. Jesus gave up his rights and his life so that I could be given freedom. I’m so blessed and so humbled. Thank you to those behind me, enjoy the fruits of this labor, God wants to bless you!!!



I’m not sure when I will be able to have internet access again. Someone on my team is really struggling and because of that my team will be taking a break from ministry and because of this particular struggle we are no longer allowed internet, until the issues is brought forward. We can all get online together but the time is limited. Please pray that God would convict people and our team would be able to move on from this. I can not disclose anymore information, but trust that this problem is serious and is having a strong affect on my team. We are all seeking and waiting. Thank you for your prayers.

So much going on

Yesterday was our first day off on outreach. It was so nice to spend some time resting and tanning at the beach. The safe beaches are free here, which is great compared to Jamaica, where you have to pay three dollars. We could swim without having to keep one eye on our bags the whole time. I really love this nation is so safe and welcoming. I do love Jamaica, but I can’t deny how stress free my public experiences are in Guadeloupe.

On Sunday our team lead a church service our topic was, “Guarding the Heart” We talked about how the words that come out of your mouth are actually in your heart. We lead worship, organized the offering and performed a mime about giving away your heart to Jesus is the Best thing you can do. The service was overall ok, but we had never done anything like that before so it was not as smooth as we would have liked it to be. We did mix things up a bit we had people sit in a circle and interact with one another. I’m really starting to dislike the idea of rows it’s not very exciting and where in the bible does it say we have to sit like that? Why not face each other? Learn together? Instead of star at the back of somebody’s head.

I can’t believe it’s only Ten days until Christmas. My team is doing secret Santa, which I’m not crazy about, but I did pick Ezra. He’s only one so it won’t be hard to please him. I think I’ll take him on a walk and buy him some candy. I’m really blessed by the way my team is getting along. I had quite a lot of apprehensions about this trip and so far it’s been smooth sailing (I hate clichés, but whatever it’s all I’ve got right now). I am sorry to say that one of the students from the team in Antigua is going home, and will not be graduating form DTS. We received an email this morning saying that our classmate had too angry outbursts during his first week of outreach. I wasn’t surprised because he had issues with anger and the leaders throughout our lecture phase, but I was disappointed that both the leaders and he came to the conclusion he needed to go home. My DTS will not be the same when we all meet up. Its such a shame that the issues couldn’t be worked out and that he will not graduate nor receive credit for his work thus far. Please pray for the team in Antigua and the young man leaving. He will be missed, I really wanted him to complete this, he has so much to offer the Lord, but he has so much to deal with. Pray that even though he’s not still apart of Y.W.A.M he would still grow and leave the things of this world behind…actually we should pray that over ourselves and everyone we know. Lord You must increase we must Decrease.

On Friday our team went to a cliff on the end of the island. I have never been to such an incredible site before. We spent the afternoon praying for the nation of Guadeloupe and worshiping. The beauty and peace over this nation is undeniable. How could it not be the Lords Island? I have such overwhelming confidence God is and will do great things here through us. I have no idea what this week looks like except, tomorrow I’m leading worship and running a ministry prep meeting. I can’t believe I didn’t take French in High school, but its okay, Jesus will figure it out. Praise Him… He’s Worthy

We Made it To Guadeloupe!

This week has been so busy and exciting. My last week of class was focused on spiritual warfare and relationships. I spent some time with the other team on Friday night, just as a small farewell until graduation. The whole team spent Saturday packing and relaxing. Tam was baptized in the pool. It was so cool to be apart of the experience I helped her research being baptized because she wanted to be, but she didn’t really understand the concept. We looked up some scriptures and prayed about it. She decided she wanted to express the physical representation of how she believed in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ and how he’s changed her life. It was so touching to be apart of her experience and support her. The school of the performing arts doesn’t leave for another two weeks for their outreach so on Saturday they cooked us a lovely meal to send us off.

We said our goodbyes and headed off for the Kingston airport on Sunday morning. We got to see so much of the island; the ocean, rivers, fields; it was incredible how much of Jamaica we hadn’t seen until then. The Kingston airport was really big and I had a frappicinno for the first time in three months, which was truly comforting. Our whole DTS flew to Antigua and spent the night there. On Monday we saw the downtown area and got really close to a curse ship. In Mo bay we just see the ships from afar; I had no idea how gigantic they actually are. It’s like a city on the water. Antigua’s culture was very calm. It was a lot less aggressive than being in public in Mo Bay. People didn’t hassle us for a cab ride they only asked once then left us alone. I saw a building called, “The Patrick A Michael Building.” How crazy is it that a random small island my brothers first and middle names were on a building. It reminded me of just how much I miss him.

Our team said goodbye to the other students and left for the airport. It was so hard to go through yet another farewell. Well, actually it wasn’t that hard I think I was ready to leave them and get outreach rollin’. I will really miss Larissa she’s my DTS B.F.F, for sure. I laugh so much with her and we always get yelled at. I am sorry were not on the same team, but I’m going to visit her in Canada later so it’s all good. We flew out of Antigua had a connecting flight in Dominica and then landed in Guadeloupe at around 7:30. The leader of the base here is Samuel which in French is pronounced “Sam-Well” he’s our tour guide/director here. We made it to the base in about 45 minutes from the airport. It was so weird to drive here because in Jamaica the steering wheel is on the right so I’ve gotten really used to driving on the opposite side of the road, but in Guadeloupe they drive the same way as North Americans so I felt a little more at home. The Y.W.A.M. team here is still in the pioneer stage, they don’t have there own base yet so they rent bungalows from a hotel here. It’s like a tiny paradise get away. I had my first hot shower in 3 months yesterday. Praise Jesus!!! I actually felt squeaky clean! Meaghan prayed I would get a hot shower about a month ago and God answered. It’s funny because all the girls have hot water but the boy rooms are still icy cold like in Jamaica. Thank you Lord!

We’ve been somewhat stuck on our base and limited to what ministry work we can do here because Guadeloupe is in the middle of a large oil strike. When we arrived in the airport we saw a bunch of baggage carts that had been destroyed and were blocking the bus park entrance. This happened during a riot, we’ve been asked to remain close to the base until the strike ends. Samuel traveled home the other evening and got stuck there because the roads we closed due to the rioting. It’s just safer to shut down for a week than try and risk getting caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. Please pray for peace and a safe and speedy journey for Samuel. We can’t do a lot of our ministry because of this situation. I think my team is feeling a little useless and stranded. I know God has a purpose for us and we are trying to enjoy the rest and down time God has given us. I was able to take two hour naps two days in a row. I’m thankful for the rest, but I’m ready to see the nation and experience the culture.

We have done a couple things so far. We have been helping maintain the base with yard work and cleaning. We are helping the DTS with work duties. This base is only 20 people including us so we don’t mind doing dishes, it’s so much easier than washing after 60 people like back in Mo Bay. We are also helping with a youth night the team is hosting here. The theme is Hope. Some of us are learning worship songs in French, I’m helping decorate and Tam is giving a devotional. The staff and students are very helpful and kind here. They are really enjoying seeing new people and making new friends. There are so many different languages spoken and interpreted on this base. Some people from Guadeloupe can only speak the French Creole and some English. There are many people from Switzerland who know French and English. There’s a girl from Finland who knows French and English I’m learning the most random parts of different languages. Learning Spanish in high school has really hindered me from reading French I can’t seem to grasp the pronunciation and grammar, I am however realizing I retained a lot of Spanish, so now I want to go to South America, just one more thing on my list of places to go and serve.

This Sunday our team is leading the service at Samuel’s house church. We are doing worship, a message, and performing a drama. It’s crazy that I’m running the service. In outreach everyone has specific rolls. Tam is the accountant she handles our budget and spending. Sandra is in charge of intercession she looks through our notes and creates categories of what God has been speaking to us. Josiah is in charge of Worship (music and creative) Xavier is our meal guy, He makes sure we’re feed and finds cheap places for us to eat when we’re on the road. I am the ministry prep lady. I run all the meetings to prepare us for the upcoming events. I make sure we practice our skits and organize our programs. Our team has been working really well together. We planned a whole Church service in about 25 minutes! It’s been great! Only 8 weeks until I’m home…wow I can’t believe it.
Psalm 145

Busy Time

Wow. I cannot believe that my classroom phase is over. I can't believe I'm leaving more than half of my team for 8 weeks. This next month in a half is going to fly by. We are all so excited. My job on outreach is to head up out ministry prep time. Our group meets twice a week to practice and create skits and its my job to facilitate this time. I get to organize all our performances and direct most of them. I also get to be the first aid lady for the first couple weeks. I'm really happy because my team is traveling together and we get to spend the night in Antigua with the other team. This is going to be our last sleepover/goodbye party! Please pray for my friend Xavier he is tying to get a visa for the trip and he may join us two weeks later. He's having some major difficulties trying to get into Guadeloupe. we know Gods going to work it out, but we have prayer so we can make a change. We would really love for him to be with us when we leave Sunday, so pray hes going! God is so much bigger than this and we know it's possible. I'm starting to pack and feeling like I'm going home. I think its because Christmas is approaching and i expect to be with family. I will be with family, just in a different form. I'm happy to pend this time with them, I'm going to have a totally unexpected and unique Christmas. I'm going to be refreshed and blessed by my team. We've been trying to learn Christmas songs in French. I found this extra hard because I learned Spanish for three semesters and the two are very different.My team keeps calling me Spanish lady because I put on a thick accent when trying to speak French. I know I'll get better, and I know people there will laugh at me, but its ll good I'm 90% sure we get a translator! I also found out we're doing prison ministry. I think this will be a fun challenge, even though I can't speak the language Gods going to do good things.

I had a review this week and my leaders assessed my performance ad growth thus far in DTS, good news... I passed the lecture phase and they feel I'm prepared for outreach. I've also been asked to join staff. I'm taking this into deep consideration. I really wan to go to college and take the school of performing arts, so with all these options please pray for direction and inspiration. I can't wait to see what God does on Outreach and after DTS!!!!

We have been learning about spiritual Warfare and so many of my questions were answered. We are all constantly in warfare. We are either acting in God's Kingdom or we are serving the World. Today I prayed that the spirit of passivity would be removed from myself and my family. I feel like I'm just going through the motions sometimes. I need to be aware and ask myself about what I'm feeling and why I'm treating others the way I do. We also talked about how we can never be Holier than we are once we are saved. yes, we grow in our Knowledge of God, but he doesn't increase our Holiness. You and the person who was saved ten minutes ago are the same amount of Holiness to the Lord. We can be more Holy than the bible or anyone else severing the kingdom. I've realized that I put pressure on things that I think will make me more holy. I have to read my quiet time, I have to read the bible, I have to pray... I should want to do these things and they should happen naturally. I should be eager to hear and learn what God's inheritance is for me.I've fallen into legalism and make myself feel guilty. I've got to change my expectations and trust more. I'm being made new each day and I'm learning so much, I can't believe how different my life is and how different it will be when i get home. I wait with Joy to see home again, and I'm peaceful and ready to serve Him Here and Now.

Live dear friend

This is where I Want Him to Be.





All of Us Americans gathered for a warm and wonderful Thnakgiving!








What a fantastic week!? Hear are some of my lecture topics…

We can only Show God to the extent that we Know Him

Isa 58; 6-11… The Lords fasting is to break the bondage of the needy. Our fasting should be for others benefit.

We can choose to Live by the truth that comes from God, or by the lies of the enemy

Romans 8; 14… He loved us so much that He sent His son to the cross so we could become is adopted children

If every Christian family adopted one child, there would no longer be orphans

Are words are powerful. God spoke the earth into creation. We have to be careful what things we speak over ourselves and others.

Salvation is free, following Him will cost you everything, but the blessings from obedience are greater than the cost.

When we are serving the Lord, wherever he has called us, he doesn’t just give us Grace to endure, but Grace to ENJOY

Who comes first….Your family or Jesus?

He gave His best for us, how much more should we offer to him

This is just a summary of the hard and beautiful truths I heard. I want to be desperate for God. A heart that is truly seeking finds His answers. I think I’m almost afraid to find out what he has for my life. I’m scared of the sacrifices I have to make, but at the same time I’m willing to go. My brain is really scrambled; it’s the last week of lecture, I don’t know what to expect on outreach, I’m going to miss the other half of my class, some people on my team still don’t have money to go to Guadeloupe, and my confidence has really dropped. I need to take confidence in Him and not myself. I can sense the heavy attitude over my campus. I was just getting used to the classroom YWAM lifestyle and now I’m being thrown into “outreach” time. I’m looking forward, but I’m easily distracted by emotions.

God is good and his purpose is too. I know I’m going to Guadeloupe to be changed; I just need to be ready to lay down my rights and selfishness. As much as I hate confrontation God is teaching me to confront people and tell them truly how I feel. I think that’s one of my weakest points. I do feel more upfront It’s just really hard. I would rather try and forget about something than discuss the matter. I think my apathy is why my confidence is so low right now. I’m letting myself become stagnant. I need to get moving, start recognizing and battling. I love the idea that when we take part in worship its spiritual Warfare.

As much as I have going on mentally, it truly ha been a good week. Realizing my issues is the first step in destroying them. Please pray for Boldness and patients I’m really lacking both. Pray that His beautiful truth will remain in my mind.

Matthew 10; 37-39

This week has been very exciting. I’ve been hugely encouraged by my loved ones at home. I received 2 letters and a package of treats provided by John and Meaghan. I was so blessed and happy. I got a cd featuring Francis Chan, pictures of home (including a very cute hamster and my bros 1st hockey game), chips, cookies, a messenger bag, tear jerking notes, an official SMYDEK tee, and vitamins (Flintstone brand). I had been working for two hours in the kitchen and was greeted with this present at the end of work. It really blessed me and inspired me. There is something so wonderful about the hand written word. I’m so recharged from seeing Yoho handwriting. Thank you.
Our teaching this week rocked. We talked about unreached people groups and church planting methods. We learned about the history of missions, which I almost felt was too good to be true. God has used different eras in history to reach specific people groups. For example, in the late 1700’s to the mid 1800’s most of the missionaries being sent out to the nations were British and landing on shores and remaining close to the oceans. This era was named the Coastland mission period because believers were outlining the nations with the gospel; it was in later years that they headed inland to the areas considered more dangerous for foreigners. A man named William Carey was very influential in this time, he was British and worked mostly in India. If you go to Joshuaproject.net you can find the people groups that remain unreached today.

Yesterday was pretty full we spent the morning feeding people at a homeless shelter. The people there are so intellectual; most of them know the bible more than any of us do. They are so happy without shoes on there feet. I want faith like that. Before we served them we sang and read a short devotion. They were so interactive and enthusiastic. Could I be that joyful? Could I be that confident in God? Some of the men there had excellent careers at one point. One sweet elderly man had been an architect and designed many neighborhoods in Montego Bay. Another was a German translator who attended school in Miami, but was between jobs for too long and learned how to live homeless. Many of the men were so rich at one point that they got sick of money. They became irresponsible and just stopped working. I sometimes feel foolish ministering to people in this situation. They know more than me, they’ve been through incredible devastation, they don’t have a bed and here I come singing songs about how faithful God is when I’ve been supported and cared for beyond my own understanding. They should be ministering to me. I go there to hear from them. I want to be an encouragement and a servant to them.

Later our class headed to the beach to relax. We got really sun burned and played volleyball with a nice couple. It’s crazy that the scenery here and the time on the beach is slowly becoming ordinary to me. Yesterday the girls and I were tanning and suddenly I remember we were here in this tropical paradise on the Lords business.

This morning I went to this really beautiful Catholic Church. This scripture was the basis of a skit we’ve been using in different churches throughout the past several weeks. In YWAM we do something called mobilizing. We go to youth groups and Sunday services to speak about D.T.S and our other schools we usually do a drama or dance followed by testimonies and an overview of the curriculum. Our drama of late had been from this story in Matthew. I need to take it more seriously. Every single thing I do to someone I am doing to my Lord. Usually I’m selfish and ignorant. I do things completely for myself without even thinking about others or the Lord. I’m really trying to become more aware of my actions and the motives behind those actions. Taking every thought captive is a hard task, but a rewarding one. God is speaking.

Tonight my outreach team got together and practiced our French. I realized how difficult in was all of my Spanish skills came flooding back, which was nice, but alas not helpful. Then, we watched Oceans 11 in French with English subtitles, it was still surprisingly funny.

Be blessed this week.

News on the Outreach

Well, it turns out that Haiti is no longer an option. I can't say I'm not disappointed, but I rust its for the best. The base there is not very safe due to damages caused in the hurricane. Our leaders didn't want to risk deaises and separation between our team. My leaders are husband and wife and they couldn't bring the children into the nation, so we are sticking together in Guadeloupe! I leave the 7th of December and return January 29th. I'm very happy things worked out and my team seems to be unified that Haiti isn't for this season. I trust my leaders they've prayed and this is the outcome. It also is nice because we don't have to fly through Miami. I didn't want to go to the States for fear I'd catch a bus home...Just kidding.

I've learned all these new skits and evangelistic performances. We had a dts dance party the other night for three hours. I love dancing with my classmates because we never judge each others dance moves. Some stuff is pretty ridiculous but still entertaining. I really want to visit Bellingham, Washington. My friend Alia is from there and it sounds like a really cool art/snowboard town. She's shared a ton of her local music and it rocks!

Today we are all just relaxing. We've been so busy this passed week that a break was necessary. I went to the airport yesterday to pick up our speaker. He looks like a mix between John Goodman and Uncle Bilbo. The teaching is going to be about reaching the nations an dhow to Handel cross cultural differences during outreach. I'm happy this week isn't focusing on us as the individuals, but us as a class going out into the world. The dts experience is full of inner healing and revelation so my spirit will enjoy a change of focus.

Oh, if anyone is planning to end me something please do so asap. I'm leaving in three weeks and sometimes it takes that long to get a letter. Slow mail is torture here. I stair at my meal box before every meal and its usually empty, except one letter from dear Eric Schmitz, that really rose my spirits! Thanks morp date.

Reading Romans 14 changed me

Whats up

Yesterday I got to go shopping for the first time. I picked up some random gifts and just walked around. I'm getting more and more comfortable with living here and functioning in the community with the locals. It's funny, everyone here thinks I'm Canadian. at least 6 Jamaicans called me out for being Canadian and were shocked that I'm actually American. I can't tell the difference between the two, one man said it was my nose, but whatever. I like Canada they have free health care! Pretty awesome.

The rainy season is starting to pick up it rains really hard either all day or for just an hour. The rain falls so hard that you get so wet you have to change clothes and the more you change the more laundry you have to wash, and the more laundry the more you have to run to save your clothes on the line from having to be washed again. when the rain falls on the line your clothes reek! So most of today I've been washing and drying with my hair dyer in our room. It' fun but I've got the feeling it will get old quick.
I was reading our book this week, Spiritual Warfare, and there was this great bit about being honest and looking for the honesty in others when we are rebuked," ...we must be open and willing to examine the content of what others say to us. Though some of what they say will be false, we need not be defensive, and should defiantly not fight people. If there is truth in what they say, it becomes an opportunity for us to repent, make restitution, and become more like Jesus." This was hard to read. So many times in my life people bring things to me and I just get angry or i search for an excuse that really doesn't apply to the situation. I'm learning a lot about mainting friendship here and I hope I can remember this quote when it surfaces again. I think everyone here is in some sort of breaking point. It's been 8 weeks and were all constantly engaging in relationship with one another. I think my Dts needs to learn how to deal with our conflicts a little more peacefully. The great part about being here is that we have to deal and learn to cope. We can't leave, we can't be alone, and we can't ignore one another. We've all worked out so much amongst each other, but we still have a long way to go. I think my main problem is i like pleasing people, so I tend to hold everything in and explode later.

I can't believe I only have 4 more weeks of lecture! Outreach is going to be really hard for me, but I'm ready to be challenged I just hope my heart is open for this upcoming adventure!

New Lecture phase

So local outreach is over and Mo Bay is really starting to feel like home. I missed the other students so terribly, but the experience was good. I found out today that my overseas outreach is not just to Guadeloupe, but we will be spending two weeks in Haiti helping to rebuild he base that was hit by a hurricane. This is a really exciting opportunity but it does mean another plane ticket. I know God will provide so it's all good. I should be set by November 10th.

I'm really enjoying the speaker this week her name is faith and shes 77. She has such a strong spirit and looks at the poetry in the bible. A lot of the speakers have focused on Genesis chapters one and two so when she asked us to turn there I was ready to hear the same old facts. However; she surpassed all my previous teachings, she opened up this moment in history with brilliant creativity. I've never looked at it this way before. Needless to say, she had us all dead silent listening and waiting for the next part of the story. Here are a couple of her exciting points;

-The endless variety in humans (hair, eyes, skin, hearts) bear witness to an infinite God, who will never come to an end at expressing himself. All of us were created in His image and as many people as there are, and have been on this earth, he will keep showing himself in new and completely unique ways. We are all priceless beyond measure.

-Nothing that sin has done in our lives can separate us fom God

-God is neither just male or just female, he is both. He epressed himself differently in the two. Marriage is the most complete representation of Gods image.

-Genesis 2;19 God wanting Adam to realize that he did not have a companion on the earth, none of the animals were comparable to him. Adam was looking for something that God wanted him to have.

-God doesn't call us to loneliness we are to be in relationship with others as he is in relationship with the spirit and son, as he always has been.

-Woman was the last thing created, she was taken from Adam and then in Genesis 2; 22 we read that the Lord brought Eve to Adam. This is such a privilege to be escorted by God to your companion.

-Genesis 2;8 God had completed creation and saw that it was good, but after he created man he plants a garden especially to shelter and provide for man. We are highly valued to the Lord

-Genesis 3 the seriousness of a fall depends on the height at which we fell from. We fell from union with God, there is no higher height than that.

I could go on and on and on, but those were some interesting points. I hope your inspired to read these scriptures and hear him speak. We also looked at the book of Ruth and just as Boaz is a kinsman redeemer, so Jesus is the worlds kinsman Redeemer. Boaz is such an impressive man his purity and Godly righteousness make him a model man.

so Obama, I don't know how I feel about this I regret that I kept myself far away from the election. We can only pray that God would make His will done in this nation, I guess we have to wait and see how our country handles this. Either good or bad this is so huge for our countries history. I got to talk to Donna which was so encouraging I love the way God speaks through her. I really missed home this week. I just keep remembering that God never said this would be easy, but he did say it would be worth it. I'm praying for Awana, that God would overflow His knowledge into the leaders and children there. it's funny how I can be so far away but home in spirit.

2 Timothy 4;2 Preach the word and be prepared in and out of season; correct rebuke and encourage with great patients ad careful instruction. I'm working on my relationships with my outreach team and this verse is keeping me in line. It's so hard sometimes.

Yesterday we had creative worship with everyone on the base. we learned this really cool song and dance from Nigeria, I'm going to have someone write down the words so I can teach it on outreach and when I get home. I'm starting to realize that Guadalupe may be my dts outreach, but Maryland is my life outreach.

God's in Love with you.

Outreach

Local Outreach is finally over

This week our DTS split into two groups. The Antigua team and the Guadalupe team. We all spent the week serving in our teams and spending time together to get a small taste os what our 8 week outreach will be. I had a hard time. Most of my close friends are in the other group so I felt left out most of the time, but the ministry was challenging and pretty fun. We visited an orphanage two times; the kids were so adorable and playful. It breaks my heart that they don’t have the family structure so many of us were privileged to have. Some of them had special needs; some had learned to talk and then just stopped all speech, some cried the whole time we were there, we had kids that would not let us put them down. Overall it was a great experience we spent 4 hours playing and loving them. Leaving was awful. I almost felt bad for even going because the children had fun with us and then we just left and were never going back there. We made friends we’ll never see again. The kids must become so desensitized to people walking away from their lives. I know they enjoyed our time with them, but the they were so hurt when we said goodbye.
This trip made me think about my motives and why I even wanted to go there. Was it because I really wanted Christ to be displayed to these kids, or did I behave differently from someone who goes their just out of there own compassion. I realized I need to approach everyone with God’s Love, and with God because he is Love. I’m not saying that going to visit orphans out of compassion is wrong, but how much more affective is it to approach things while being in Gods will, while being ready to share and pray over the children, expressing love to them that the world can’t give?
We also did some “street evangelism” that’s when we walk up to people and share the word. I’m not really comfortable with this method, but I was more encouraged than discouraged at the end of the day. We walked around downtown Mandeville and made conversation. I don’t like really talking to people aggressively so we just asked them questions about what they believed and what they accepted when death arrives. Most people proclaimed the power in Jesus name, but some thought we just die. The people here are very interesting, we meat this one older woman who’s name was Mistress Gloria Plum. She had this awesome pink sequenced baseball cap on. It was really hard to understand the older folks because they’re “patwha” was really mumbled. At the end of every encounter we asked if individuals felt comfortable with us praying for them, most people said something along the lines of, “don’t pray for me or don’t bless me, pray for a blessing over everyone in the world” not many wanted their name to be spoken and lost of Jamaicans are humanitarian. We also met people that new the truth in Christ, but they just were not ready to live that way, they openly admitted they were okay with backsliding against the God they believed in. I think that might be harder to talk about than the gospel, because then it’s trying to explain how God wants to use them and that can be a hard truth to confront a stranger with. Overall, this was a good experience but I think City Reach is much more affective ministry because people come to us. It’s easier to resent the Love of God when someone engages you in a conversation. But, in the end it doesn’t matter how things play out because if the word of life is spoken or shown it’s a victory. I realized that I need to live out the Word. I need to be ready to share, do, or help people with the Lord’s intentions and compassion. Simple things like going o the grocery store, getting gas, everyday errands are a time to love people. I’ve always known that I just forget about it. I hope I become more aware and less afraid. I also wan to acknowledge that being sensitive to the holy spirits leading is the key to this. Sometimes you don’t need to share.
We also spent time in the Mandeville base helping with the Christian Elementary school that operates there. The kids were so crazy and funny. They were really excited we were there and they loved us. Every time we would walk to lunch or resses we were holding at least ten tiny hands, and when we sat in a circle to read everyone was trying to sit next to us. It was really fun to experience that kind of unconditional love. Even if we had to discipline the children, three seconds later they loved us just the same. The teachers really appreciated our help. It was nice to feel needed and used. That affirmation bonded our team; we always left school with a funny story. I’m so happy to be home and I’m o excited for the week ahead. I missed my friends and I have a ton of laundry to catch up on. I think we might go in town tonight for dinner and a reggae concert. I’m excited but nervous; you never know what’s going to happen in town.

My school

This is my classroom, I learn here

soo Outreach.. yeah

Here's a 3 am picture of Larissa, Selena, and I




so as of right now I'm going to Guadalupe and I'm not really sure it's what God wants Me to do I'm really unsettled about it. My group is fine and my leaders are great, but I'm just not sold on it. I thin k the next week will really help me. we are going back to Mandevill and this week with my group will help me decide if this is gong to work for me. This whole process has really been tedious. I thought I was going to the Bahamas then that option was canceled. I thought I was happy with Guadalupe and now I'm not feeling too good about it. Please pray for me. i know God's going to use me wherever I go, but when times are hard I'm going to want to be able to say with complete confidence that this is the place I'm called to serve. Oh, please send me a letter. My address here is..

Ashley Guilday
Youth With A Mission
Box 198 Reading Post Office
S.t James, Jamaica


I would love to here from someone, there is such excitement in the written word. Thank you for the prayers and fun comments. I'm so refreshed by the love pouring out from the interweb. The more weeks pass, the more I miss home, but I know it's all gravy!!!!

Doctors

These guys are everywhere this one was in the bathroom at 5:30 this morning...fun


I'm still sick, but today I was able to go to this free missionary doctor. She told me I have a bacterial infection in my stomach. She gave me some antibiotics after a 5 hour wait. I thought I forgot how to speak because I sat there silent the whole time. It was actually kind of nice to just "be" read old magazines and sit. I didn't take notes or have to spend time with someone on the base, I sat. I spent the lunch hour fasting and praying for Michael. I got to talk with him for the first time since I left. I really miss him and we had a really good talk. We prayed together. I'm so happy about that I could scream. He's awesome. I'm going back to Mandeville this coming week for Local Outreach. My small team is working at a Veterans home, an orphanage, a school, and just walking the streets picking up trash and talking to people. I'm nervous about my team. we have some conflicting relationships and it could get messy. I'm glad it's going to be challenging, that means more growing. I wen to Nagril this passed week. It was fun but I also witnessed a stabbing. I'm realizing how different life off the base is, and growing more thankful for my guard dogs and barbed wire fences...

This week

So Mandeville is really fun. The base is up in the hills away from town. It’s so peaceful and quiet unlike Mo bay. I fall asleep listening to the breeze instead of loud reggae or the occasional gunshot. We went to the coolest church this morning. The congregation was young but really insightful. Most of the churches in Jamaica do a lot of screaming, but this one was very sober and fun. I felt more relax and less distracted during worship. The most adorable kids were there so afterwards the other girls and I passed babies around. On the way to and from church some of us road in the back of a pickup truck through the country. The land is so lush and green here. The dirt in Mandeville is red its used to make aluminum so there’s a lot of mining. After church we headed out for a walk to a small farming community. So many people live in shacks held together by wire and bamboo. We saw amazing plant life. Its pretty peaceful here, good for getting all my bookwork done…

Monday October 13, 2008
Today is my one month anniversary to Jamaica. I can’t believe how much has happened in this short amount of time. This experience is flying by. We talked about generational sin and how the mistakes we make affect our children and other relatives. I’ve been looking at the trends in my family and it’s scary. Every generation has the choice to follow the example, weather good or bad, set before them by parents and other influences. I’ve been recognizing the sin I’ve chosen to follow and the sin God has helped me conquer or stand against.
My work duties are not kitchen work here, which is a nice change. This base was also once a plantation so they have an amazing great house. For two hours yesterday we moved all this scrap wood. That evening we sat on top of the great house, sang songs, and stared at the full moon. Sometimes I actually “look” at creation. I see the Lord and all He has made. I was thinking about how I could ever want for anything when all I need is right in front of me. I love praising through the beauty he gave us on earth.

Tuesday October 14, 2008
Today we learned all about healing and being cleansed and choosing to believe the truth and not the lies about ourselves. Someone back home kept telling me to love myself and they were so right. My problem was not accepting God’s forgiveness or even the forgiveness of others who know some of my darkest trespasses, but forgiving myself, freeing myself from my own judgments and acts of self hatred. I was being so hard on myself that I stopped loving anything about me. I did and still do hate some aspects of my personality, looks, and situations. I’m learning to embrace who He created me to be. I realized I was dishonoring Him and mocking Him by being negative to myself aka, His creation.

Wednesday October 15
So class was cool I felt really sick earlier but I think I’m just stressed. I have three plays to write, two books I’m reading at the same time, and a schedule with very little and sometimes no free time. We met after class last night and played a game where everyone was in a circle and handed 4 close pins each. We were then given the sinario that we were all on a ship and the boat was going down and we each could only pick 4 people to survive in the life boat with only 4 seats. We had to go in front of every person and tell them weather we chose for them to be granted life or death. It was interesting because we could discus why or why not we choose different people. In the end the 4 people with the most pins were seated on 4 chairs on the stage. Somehow I was on of the four. The other people were parents and another student. Those who didn’t make it into the boat were asked to lay down and imagine they had died so the 4 of us could survive. Then they had to share what they would have their tomb stone read. This exercise was so intense. Being someone who was granted life really made me think again about how I dislike myself and how sinful that is. God created me for life and I was reminded of that when 15 other Christians voted to give me life, they thought I was worthy and I would live a life worthy of all their deaths. If they feel that way, how much more does God value my life? Sweetly Broken…CHECK!

Thursday October 16,
Class was full of intense discussion. We talked about spiritual warfare and what things of the enemy or what ways do we open up for him to move in. We discussed yoga, Harry Potter, Idol masks, music, tattoos, witchcraft, Halloween, est. I found it hard because if we take something and look at it as just a book, or exercise we don’t necessarily become a satanic worshiper. I know Harry Potter is just a book, I also know that witchcraft is a sin or Occult practice. I don’t read or watch Harry Potter and give way to witchcraft; I don’t do yoga and worship the sun god, I simply exercise. I am aware now of the dangers in things like that. We were given the idea of praying that God would only reveal His goodness in those things and that he would remove the sin in them. I don’t feel convicted about Harry Potter; it’s just a book to me. I guess I’m trying to say, the Holy Spirit’s conviction is really important. I just don’t appreciate someone telling me to remove myself from things that are not completely of God, church isn’t even completely of God, and everything is going to be imperfect in this world. We are not in Heaven. I will not yoke myself to the origins of yoga. I will exercise that way and focus on scripture. I think it really depends on the person in most situations, but now that attention has been brought to my life about what is evil; I’m responsible for anything Satan has twisted.
We went to work duties and cut down shrubs and jungle plant life in the holy hole, which is a spot in the forest where we are having a bonfire tomorrow night. It was awesome to use a machete on the wild plant life. The Mandeville site is really rustic compared to Mo Bay our room is kind of like the orphanage with all 9 girls in one room. It looks just like Annie’s.
After class I got really sick. My head was pounding, my right arm was tingling, and my stomach was in terrible pain. I vomited and cried. I confessed battles I had been fighting in my head. My spirit and body were in terrible pain. Some of my darkest issues came to light. I know I’ve been forgiven I just never dealt with the feelings and consequences of my mistakes. I accept God has forgiven me, but I need to be transformed by the renewal of my mind. I just kept obsessing over my problems, instead of facing them and moving on. I know this process is going to be slow. It’s a daily choice and daily struggle. Praise God for this difficult time and ask Him to restore me.

Friday October 17
I still feel sick. My heart is heavy. But, God is good. I know he’ll be changing me and helping me to cope with my heartache. I have such a comforting group of leaders. They read to me, prayed over me, gave me medicine, listened to my confession, had compassion and understanding towards, held my hair back when I got sick. I am surrounded by strong caring women of God that look on me with love. If they can accept, forgive, and want to help heal me, how much more does the Father want to restore me? I give thanks for this safe place of recovery. Throughout this week we have written sin down on small pieces of paper. Tonight we will have a bonfire and destroy these hindrances. I want this symbolic act to strengthen me on the path to His righteousness.

ok friends

I'm going to the other ywam base this week to do some cleaning and restoring. The base is very low in staff so we're going to work for the week. I talked to Meaghan for 3 seconds last night, but it was so good. I miss my friends. This week was awesome our speaker was by far my favorite; so real and deep. I'm reading Narnia. I have ten toes. I'm still alive. Last night I went to town with three other girls. We got a very sketchy cab driver. We were all very nervous so I asked him if we could sing him a song. It was quite hilarious; 4 white girls singing a Latin song to a Rastafarian. Pretty random but pretty awesome. I miss fall and the leaves changing and wearing a light jacket. Hope the Lord is strong in your heart today...

yikes.

We're learning about forgiveness. It's amazing. I'm realizing so many good things. Our speaker this week is great. Hes living with the love of Christ in him. We've just finished watching this move, "Dead man Walking" it is really intense, but it tells a beautiful story of forgiveness and how hatred eats away at us. Susan Surandon plays a nun how consuls a man convicted of rape and murder. The film captures Christ love and represents his children well. It is very emotional and rated R so I caution any interested. I'm inspired to really love and accept and forgive. God is revealing a lot of my ignorance this week conserning My relationships with others, and how I thought things were good because I was simply telling myself I had forgiven them instead of actually doing it. That sounded confusing, but I hope you understand. Jesus IS.
One love,
ashley

Uper Fun Day!

Today was just what i needed. We went to this off road beach and swam for two hours. It was so great to soak in the sun and eat ice cream. I was happy to be simple and quiet. I'm loving this place and this time. I talked to Erika and shes doing so well, answered prayer! I can't believe it's only been three weeks, I'm ready for 4 to start.

A Long Week...

So i was really stretched thin this week. We were really busy and our speaker Gayle was not my style. She was very emotional and almost rude, so it made listening to Gods hard truth come out of her difficult. In the end i was challenged, but it took a lot for me to understand her. We talked about the fear of the Lord and how its the reverence or respect for Gods power. We discussed having a pure heart and ways to discover if your heart is pure, and how pride leads to rebellion, and rebellion disbelief. We had about 4 extra hours of class this week so I'm really tired. Having all this information in my brain was just not fun. It hurt, it was messy, and heartbreaking. I have a lot to deal with before I can move on. I'm happy all this happened so early in dts. The sooner the better. I need to, in the words of my loving father, "dump my junk" It's time to leave the doubt, fear, self loathing, and attention seeking at the cross. I also needs to stop making generalized apologies. If I'm not convicted of a specific issue I'm not saying sorry. feeling wrong for nothing is condemnation and only come from evil. It's been hard but tonight is the welcome party for the performing arts students. I really want to do the art school. I've also been approached 3 times about staffing here. I'm open to whatever, just waiting on direction. I can't wait for the healing I'm already experiencing, and the joy of being clean to increase. Did you know that blood is a cleaning agent. It creates a White spot after its wiped away, very cool.