Here is the web address to my graduation. We are completing the 12 week lecture phase here in Ensenada and next week we are off to Cancun for our first outreach location. Thank you so much for the prayers and support. We will be having a time of sharing and celebrating and streaming our time on the web. We will be sharing a few performances and I would love to have you all connected! Thank you again for reading ad following God has been doing a mighty work and I look forward to the closing of this chapter and the opening of the next. Hope to see you! The streaming will be Wednesday March 30th at 10 pm Maryland time. Thanks again and may God bless you and remind you of how wide deep and great is His love for you!!!!
http://www.ywamensenada.com/
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
One week in Ensenada
What an amazing week. Our new teacher is a Korean woman named Soo Lee she is so beautiful and kind and the lecture topic is focused on inner healing. I have experienced this a little when I was in my discipleship training school. It was an excellent time for me to identify the issues I had been struggling with. SooLee has been doing various exercises to help us gain an understanding of the hurt areas of our lives. We have been talking about forgiveness towards ourselves and towards others. One day we were asked to draw a tree, then we were asked to change the tree so it represents us. My tree had many holes in the bark along with many of small leaves all individually drawn. SooLee thought a lot about my picture but the basics were, that the holes were places I needed to let the lord into, places healing needed to come to, and the leaves were a representation of my future. I have so many desires, I have several career path interest, I have so many places I want to visit, I have so many people I want to spend time with and be a blessing too. I Honestly have so many dreams I don’t know where to begin. I am excited to see the places God will take me especially in the next 5 years to come.
We have also been speaking a lot about realizing the roots of our struggles. SooLee gave a great example of having to get to the source of our addictions. She has a thorn bush growing in her yard. So she cut off the branches and most of the tree, but a few days later it came back. So she went back out cut it down and then began to dig. She made a huge hole in her hard pulling up all the roots until she had to stop because the thorn bush was coming from a neighbor’s yard. Our sin and addictions works the same way. Many of you know that in the past I suffered from and purging my meals when I would eat to much. I desperately wanted control in my life and controlling food was an easy way to feel like I was in charge. On my discipleship training school God allowed me to conquer that sin It has been a long time since I have done that and I believe that the power of God has kept me healthy. But something I am realizing here is that I really deeply struggle with self confidence and being comfortable with myself.
So to relate this to SooLee’s teaching… the purging is the branches and trunk of the tree. It is the clear representation of my sin and hurt. It is visible, but what I am learning now is that the purging came out of self confidence roots. With God’s divine love and faithful teachers like SooLee I hope to further look into these roots and really remove this habit of self hatred from my lifestyle.
I am also realizing new weaknesses in my life. I sometimes try to play God especially in my family. I so desperately want them on the right path, or what I think is right. I try and give my opinion way too often and it comes across as judgment. I am learning to surrender the people I love, and that maybe I want to do something that is good but it is not the right timing. I want to speak at the Holy Spirits prompting not just hand out my own advice all the time.
In other news, my back is almost 100% I am able to do almost all my dances. It has been really interesting seeing life from the non physical I was forced to be in bed when I wanted so badly to participate but just as God told Daivd he was not to build the temple, I was told those projects were not for me to dance in. There is a time for everything as the bible says in Ecclesiastes chapter 3….
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
I am learning so much about when and how to do things in life. I pray that this maturity would continue in the life of my classmates and me.
Outreach!!!!! So we are leaving next weekend. We have fun into some financial issues with other students but we are praying for God’s work to be done in last minute fundraising. It is really hard to believe that lecture is coming to an end! I am so thrilled for the adventure of outreach and the times of ministry and teaching ahead. Please be praying for our safety and team unity.
Thank you again for all of those reading, praying, and supporting. This has been a very intense journey and I look forward to the growing to come in outreach.
It is starting to warm up here in Ensenada and we have been able to walk on the beach during the weekends when we finish our homework. I walked the other day with my good friend Chanmin. She is a peppy hilarious Korean girl. Please pray for her both of her parents tragically past away a few years ago and she is battling with a tremendous fear of man. She feels it is too difficult to create dance pieces here. Join with me in prayer for her and for her to receive freedom from this spiritual bondage.
We have also been speaking a lot about realizing the roots of our struggles. SooLee gave a great example of having to get to the source of our addictions. She has a thorn bush growing in her yard. So she cut off the branches and most of the tree, but a few days later it came back. So she went back out cut it down and then began to dig. She made a huge hole in her hard pulling up all the roots until she had to stop because the thorn bush was coming from a neighbor’s yard. Our sin and addictions works the same way. Many of you know that in the past I suffered from and purging my meals when I would eat to much. I desperately wanted control in my life and controlling food was an easy way to feel like I was in charge. On my discipleship training school God allowed me to conquer that sin It has been a long time since I have done that and I believe that the power of God has kept me healthy. But something I am realizing here is that I really deeply struggle with self confidence and being comfortable with myself.
So to relate this to SooLee’s teaching… the purging is the branches and trunk of the tree. It is the clear representation of my sin and hurt. It is visible, but what I am learning now is that the purging came out of self confidence roots. With God’s divine love and faithful teachers like SooLee I hope to further look into these roots and really remove this habit of self hatred from my lifestyle.
I am also realizing new weaknesses in my life. I sometimes try to play God especially in my family. I so desperately want them on the right path, or what I think is right. I try and give my opinion way too often and it comes across as judgment. I am learning to surrender the people I love, and that maybe I want to do something that is good but it is not the right timing. I want to speak at the Holy Spirits prompting not just hand out my own advice all the time.
In other news, my back is almost 100% I am able to do almost all my dances. It has been really interesting seeing life from the non physical I was forced to be in bed when I wanted so badly to participate but just as God told Daivd he was not to build the temple, I was told those projects were not for me to dance in. There is a time for everything as the bible says in Ecclesiastes chapter 3….
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
I am learning so much about when and how to do things in life. I pray that this maturity would continue in the life of my classmates and me.
Outreach!!!!! So we are leaving next weekend. We have fun into some financial issues with other students but we are praying for God’s work to be done in last minute fundraising. It is really hard to believe that lecture is coming to an end! I am so thrilled for the adventure of outreach and the times of ministry and teaching ahead. Please be praying for our safety and team unity.
Thank you again for all of those reading, praying, and supporting. This has been a very intense journey and I look forward to the growing to come in outreach.
It is starting to warm up here in Ensenada and we have been able to walk on the beach during the weekends when we finish our homework. I walked the other day with my good friend Chanmin. She is a peppy hilarious Korean girl. Please pray for her both of her parents tragically past away a few years ago and she is battling with a tremendous fear of man. She feels it is too difficult to create dance pieces here. Join with me in prayer for her and for her to receive freedom from this spiritual bondage.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Another week down!
So this week has been all about our final projects. We have been practicing and refining are pieces some people have started all over and changed completely. It has been a really good week, but I have noticed the art in this school is not the challenging part for me. What challenges me the most is my spiritual growth.
I have come to terms with my hatred of confrontation. In my mind it is always bad to confront and the few times I have done it I always cry. But luckily I have leaders around me who see that and are challenging me to grow. it was so bad that I was approached about making a mistake that I actually did not make. But because I hate confrontation I just said sorry and went away sad. I was that afraid of people I couldn't even defend myself or share the truth. I think this is the root of so many issues I have. It can be so hard for me to trust people. I think in my mind I assume everyone will let me down. This negative thinking has really distanced me from the leadership here. But thankful we had a meeting yesterday and I threw out all my emotions and concerns.
again, I am learning that being upfront is the best way to honor a relationship. I then approached people I had been talking about and fortunately they were all very forgiving. it is so hard to share sometimes, but I feel so much more free after having just been truthful. Please pray I continue to express my heart and that I would not just follow the crowd or keep things pent up in my heart.
We are graduating from the lecture phase in a few weeks and I believe we will do a live streaming of the ceremony so those at home can watch. I will make sure to get all the details out to you awesome readers. I hope to perform my final project so I can share it with you all! Oh and a special thanks to the people at OST, where my dad works. I know you guys are enjoying my blog and it really encourages me to know your reading and praying! Thanks again!
Oh and another special prayer request. This is a photo of my good friend Wen ji and I. She is from Malaysia and is planning to join the ministry team in Hong Kong. Before she can go she has to raise the funds and find monthly supporters this is really had to do in Malaysia. In her culture the children are expected to care for the parents once they have reached adulthood. SO for Wen ji it will be hard to have consistent support. She has a vision to minister to people in the arts and spread the gospel to famous artists all over the world. Please keep her in your prayers!!
I have come to terms with my hatred of confrontation. In my mind it is always bad to confront and the few times I have done it I always cry. But luckily I have leaders around me who see that and are challenging me to grow. it was so bad that I was approached about making a mistake that I actually did not make. But because I hate confrontation I just said sorry and went away sad. I was that afraid of people I couldn't even defend myself or share the truth. I think this is the root of so many issues I have. It can be so hard for me to trust people. I think in my mind I assume everyone will let me down. This negative thinking has really distanced me from the leadership here. But thankful we had a meeting yesterday and I threw out all my emotions and concerns.
again, I am learning that being upfront is the best way to honor a relationship. I then approached people I had been talking about and fortunately they were all very forgiving. it is so hard to share sometimes, but I feel so much more free after having just been truthful. Please pray I continue to express my heart and that I would not just follow the crowd or keep things pent up in my heart.
We are graduating from the lecture phase in a few weeks and I believe we will do a live streaming of the ceremony so those at home can watch. I will make sure to get all the details out to you awesome readers. I hope to perform my final project so I can share it with you all! Oh and a special thanks to the people at OST, where my dad works. I know you guys are enjoying my blog and it really encourages me to know your reading and praying! Thanks again!
Oh and another special prayer request. This is a photo of my good friend Wen ji and I. She is from Malaysia and is planning to join the ministry team in Hong Kong. Before she can go she has to raise the funds and find monthly supporters this is really had to do in Malaysia. In her culture the children are expected to care for the parents once they have reached adulthood. SO for Wen ji it will be hard to have consistent support. She has a vision to minister to people in the arts and spread the gospel to famous artists all over the world. Please keep her in your prayers!!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I have to say it has been the most unique week thus far of my trip. On Monday evening we performed at the carnival festival here in Ensenada. We got to do a really big production with a large stage, lights, and a fog machine. It was really funny because after we took our opening places on stage we saw the fog coming out at us. we all looked around at each other in excitement. We had a great performance and a wonderful turn out. But I pulled my lower back muscles during the middle of the show. I kept going till the end but by the time I got back to the changing area I was in tears. My muscles we seizing and severely strained.
My teammates quickly gathered around and all laid hands on my and began praying. I was then taken to the hospital and had some x-rays done and was placed on an i.v. It was kind of funny because they tired to put the iv in and it wouldn't take so the nurse was digging the needle into my arm. I could only feel the pain. I was unable to see what was happening because I was on my back. But I was really shocked when she moved to my other hand. Eventually the i.v. went in and I laid on a stretcher for about 45 mins. The staff was so nice and my leader Vanessa sat with me the whole time. They brought me home and I have been in bed since.
Shockingly enough I have not been too bored. The pain comes and goes but slowly I am on the road to recovery. I have been able to pray more and gain some solitude that I really needed. On Tuesday the team went to rehearsal and they reworked the dances without me and performed that very night at carnival. During there second performance a woman rededicated her life to Christ. It is so cool to be able to pray and still feel so apart of this group even though I am not physically there. And its great because all I have wanted to see is someone changed or saved. God is showing me the importance of being behind the scenes and having the ability to let go of my situation. Yes seeing people lead to Christ is an amazing thing, but we are called also to disciple one another and most times I find that a less important command and it's not so.
It was ironic because we do able study and every week we have to create a performance to reflect our readings. This week our team chose to create a dance to a song by Hillsong called, "Still" and literally I had to do that this week. I cannot dance for a few weeks. I could not even get out of my bad the last three days, but God is using this ti remind me that He is God. The girls came to my bedside and showed me that dance and it made me cry. It really looked so much better without me, and I don't say that to out myself down, but God made me being absent help them to create something beautiful. It is so humbling to be forced to be still. To be once again reminded of how real and powerful prayer is. I look forward to learning to be patient in healing.
Oh and we also know where we are going on outreach. I am very excited because we will be traveling to three different areas of Mexico. We will be teaching in school, working with children s homes, performing, and of course spiritual warfare. We will be spending two and a half weeks in Cancun, Mexico City, and Juarez. Each one of these places has an amazing history and very intense past in Mexican culture. We know God has big plans for us and we look forward to seeing Him provide.
When the Oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm. Father you are King above the flood. I will be still and know you are God.
Powerful words. Powerful God. My prayer is that in anything you are burdened with you would rest in Him. Let Him provide.
My teammates quickly gathered around and all laid hands on my and began praying. I was then taken to the hospital and had some x-rays done and was placed on an i.v. It was kind of funny because they tired to put the iv in and it wouldn't take so the nurse was digging the needle into my arm. I could only feel the pain. I was unable to see what was happening because I was on my back. But I was really shocked when she moved to my other hand. Eventually the i.v. went in and I laid on a stretcher for about 45 mins. The staff was so nice and my leader Vanessa sat with me the whole time. They brought me home and I have been in bed since.
Shockingly enough I have not been too bored. The pain comes and goes but slowly I am on the road to recovery. I have been able to pray more and gain some solitude that I really needed. On Tuesday the team went to rehearsal and they reworked the dances without me and performed that very night at carnival. During there second performance a woman rededicated her life to Christ. It is so cool to be able to pray and still feel so apart of this group even though I am not physically there. And its great because all I have wanted to see is someone changed or saved. God is showing me the importance of being behind the scenes and having the ability to let go of my situation. Yes seeing people lead to Christ is an amazing thing, but we are called also to disciple one another and most times I find that a less important command and it's not so.
It was ironic because we do able study and every week we have to create a performance to reflect our readings. This week our team chose to create a dance to a song by Hillsong called, "Still" and literally I had to do that this week. I cannot dance for a few weeks. I could not even get out of my bad the last three days, but God is using this ti remind me that He is God. The girls came to my bedside and showed me that dance and it made me cry. It really looked so much better without me, and I don't say that to out myself down, but God made me being absent help them to create something beautiful. It is so humbling to be forced to be still. To be once again reminded of how real and powerful prayer is. I look forward to learning to be patient in healing.
Oh and we also know where we are going on outreach. I am very excited because we will be traveling to three different areas of Mexico. We will be teaching in school, working with children s homes, performing, and of course spiritual warfare. We will be spending two and a half weeks in Cancun, Mexico City, and Juarez. Each one of these places has an amazing history and very intense past in Mexican culture. We know God has big plans for us and we look forward to seeing Him provide.
When the Oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm. Father you are King above the flood. I will be still and know you are God.
Powerful words. Powerful God. My prayer is that in anything you are burdened with you would rest in Him. Let Him provide.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
Ouch....
Sometimes growing can be so hard especially when it is in an area you feel mature in. This past two weeks has been so hectic for us. we are trying to finish our final project pieces, we have media homework every night, along with our very intense daily Schedule. Honestly I am so run down, but we have to keep fighting to finish. with four weeks left in the lecture phase and no final outreach destination, I am sure you can imagine how we feel.
I have been very challenged to watch my mouth this week. Gossip is a very easy habit to slip into, especially when your under a lot of stress.Plus I am learning so much about confronting this is a time to put that into place. I have some questions and concerns and I soon hope to meet with the leadership. I have such a hard time sharing with others about certain issues that I usually cry. Honestly not that crying i bad but I believe I do it out of a fear of man. I ask you to please pray for healed relationship and wisdom in our team.
Along with all these things we have almost every student paid in full for the lecture phase. this means no one will be in debt with Youth With a Mission and our focus can be outreach. Money came to us in amazing ways. God is definitely receiving the glory for that. As a few people may not be going on outreach our team dynamics will change, this and all of our performances will have to changed. We have been very flexible with whatever comes our way so I am sure we will be guided through the changes by grace....
But today!!! today is very exciting. The yearly Mardigra or Carnival festival is happening in Ensenada and we are planning to go two nights this weekend and dance and do some ministry. The base here went and set up a skate park for some kids to use and through that ministry wo young men were saved. We just want to serve people and display God's love in a place that it would not be likely to find. The base has a great chance to disciple these two young men. Ahhh it is so good to hear that happening it really lifts my spirits that God is being made known in a positive and comforting way, He is the God of all comfort.
So yes, God is moving and continuing to work, thank you for reading and praying and partnering with me in the work of the Lord. May He bless and keep you.
I have been very challenged to watch my mouth this week. Gossip is a very easy habit to slip into, especially when your under a lot of stress.Plus I am learning so much about confronting this is a time to put that into place. I have some questions and concerns and I soon hope to meet with the leadership. I have such a hard time sharing with others about certain issues that I usually cry. Honestly not that crying i bad but I believe I do it out of a fear of man. I ask you to please pray for healed relationship and wisdom in our team.
Along with all these things we have almost every student paid in full for the lecture phase. this means no one will be in debt with Youth With a Mission and our focus can be outreach. Money came to us in amazing ways. God is definitely receiving the glory for that. As a few people may not be going on outreach our team dynamics will change, this and all of our performances will have to changed. We have been very flexible with whatever comes our way so I am sure we will be guided through the changes by grace....
But today!!! today is very exciting. The yearly Mardigra or Carnival festival is happening in Ensenada and we are planning to go two nights this weekend and dance and do some ministry. The base here went and set up a skate park for some kids to use and through that ministry wo young men were saved. We just want to serve people and display God's love in a place that it would not be likely to find. The base has a great chance to disciple these two young men. Ahhh it is so good to hear that happening it really lifts my spirits that God is being made known in a positive and comforting way, He is the God of all comfort.
So yes, God is moving and continuing to work, thank you for reading and praying and partnering with me in the work of the Lord. May He bless and keep you.
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